Welcome to

The World's Most
Retarded Website
(We accept no responsibility for any I.Q. points lost while visiting here.)

Click Above to Visit the Joke Archive

Click the Cow to visit the Mad Cow Website!

Click on the Clown Face Mounted
On a Horse Shoe Above to Join the
'I Hate The Montreal Canadiens Society'

© 2000 Yuks'R'Us!

The World's Most Retarded Joke Service.
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Disclaimer: This site may contain information that is unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards. This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat, don't quote me on that, don't quote me on anything, don't even talk to me, just leave me the hell alone! You may distribute this posting freely but you may not make a profit from it. Jokes are subject to change without notice. Jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail. This information is meant for educational purposes only. any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your recipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. No animals where hurt during, before or after the making of these pages. This supersedes all previous notices. Your mileage may vary. Objects in mirror are larger than they appear. Remove cover before eating. Void where prohibited by law. Fines double in work area. Employees must wash hands. Open other end. Sold by weight, not by volume. Safe and effective when used as directed. For temporary relief of minor aches and pains. Not responsible for typographical or printers errors. This license is effective until terminated. In case of overdose, seek professional assistance. Do not turn upside down. Do not submerge. Do not swallow. Do not put in eyes. Failure to sign and return this form results in disqualification. All taxes are the responsibility of the winner. This technology is not fault-tolerant and is not designed, manufactured or intended for use or resale as on-line control equipment in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communication systems, or air traffic control machines in which its failure could lead directly to death, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage. Subject to approval. May cause excitability, epecially in children. You must be 18 or older to join. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this product. May cause drowsiness. Read label for instructions. This tag may not to be removed except by consumer under penalty of law. Call toll free number before digging. Remit in US dollars. Children must be accompanied by an adult. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Keep away from fire or flames. Clean with soft, dry, lint-free cloth. Not sold in stores. No shirt, no shoes - no service. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Do not speak to the driver. Made from 100% recycled products. Contact manufacturer for list of nutrients. Provided "as is" without warranty of any kind. You may not assign your rights under this Agreement to any third party. Persuant to all federal regulations, past, present and future. This Agreement does not grant you any rights. At participating locations only. All rights reserved. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. No substitutions allowed. This offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted by law. Caveat Emptor. User assumes full responsibility. An equal opportunity employer. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No money down. Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives added. Safety goggles may be required during use. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking these could be hazardous to your health. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper installation, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized repair, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile. (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.) other restrictions may apply. Sealed for your protection. Do not use if safety seal is broken. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Not valid in Quebec.

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