Does Your Cow Have Mad Cow Disease?

by Dr. Pundit Gainsay


 
 

 
In 1996 bovine spongiform encephalopathy (B.S.E.), or "Mad Cow" disease caused the unfortunate slaughter of 11 million Head of British Cattle. It will forever be known as the
"Herd Shot Round the World."
 
To help prevent another outbreak of Mad Cow Disease we ask you to monitor your cows for any of the following symptoms listed below. If your cow displays any of the following symptoms we suggest you try the chicken instead...
 

 
 
1) Your cow insists on wearing a little steak sauce behind each ear as cologne.
 
2) She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
 
3) Your cow takes up painting and cuts off one of its ears.
 
4) Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
 
5) Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
 
6) Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.
 
7) Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
 
8) Your cow thought Bruce Seldon would beat Mike Tyson.
 
9) Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.
 
10) Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at Burger King.
 
11) She starts giving you Milk of Amnesia.
 
12) Your cow joins the Hell's Angels because, hey, its already got a cool leather jacket.
 
13) Your cow starts smoking its grass rather than eating it.
 
14) Your cow spends half the day sitting in the Lotus Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
 
15) Your cow insists that it can give you chocolate milk if you started feeding it Hershey bars.
 
16) Your cow seems to actually enjoy being 'Hogtied'.
 
17) Your cow asks you to brand it again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.
 
18) Your cow purposely blinds itself with a dart and yells out "Bullseye"!
 
19) Your cow starts smoking the cowlick.
 
20) Your cow becomes a Muslim and asks to be called "LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
 
21) Your cow insists Milk Duds are the result of stupid cows.
 
22) Your cow starts laughing hysterically until milk spurts out its nose.
 
23) You find your cow hiding secret plans to burn down half of Chicago.
 
24) Your cow keeps wanting to chew other cows cuds.
 
25) Your cow believes it could really jump over the moon, like in the nursery rhyme, if it got a really good run at it.


 
 
Click Cow For Cow Sounds Click Cow For Mad Cow Sounds


 
 
© 1999 Yuks'R'Us!™
The World's Most Retarded Joke List.
For a FREE Subscription E-Mail us at
yuksrus@odyssey.on.ca

View Stats
Yinga.net Free Counters!