Nose Picking Jokes

Nose Picking Jokes


  A well dressed guy went into a bar for a martini and found 
himself beside a scruffy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and 
studying something in his hand.
  The guy leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object 
up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks like plastic."
Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels 
like rubber."
  Curious, the guy asked, "What do you have there?"
  The drunk replied, "Damned if I know, but it looks like
plastic and feels like rubber."
  The guy said, "Let me take a look."
  So the drunk handed it over. The guy rolled it between his 
thumb and fingers, then examined it closely. "Yeah, it does 
look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what 
it is. Where did you get it anyway?"
  The drunk replied, "Out of my nose."


Nose Picking Glossary

* THE KIDDIE PICK:  When your by yourself and uninhibently twist your
forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom.  And the
best part is there is no limit.

* CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK:  When in the presence of other people, you
wrap forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the

* FAKE NOSE SCRATCH:  When you make believe you've got an itch but your
really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.

 * MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT:  You do it so furiously, and for so long your
 probably entitled to dessert.

* SURPRISE PICKINGS:  When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling
out of your nose and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.

* AUTOPICK:  The kind you do in a car when no ones looking.

* PICK YOUR BRAINS:  Done in private this is the one where your finger
goes in so far it passes the septum.

* PICK AND SAVE:  When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone
looks away, and than you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what
you did.

* PICK AND ROLL:  No explanation needed.


* PICK AND STICK:  You wanted it to be a "PICK AND FLICK" but it
stubornly clings to your fingertip.

* PAYDIRT:  The kind when you remove a piece of snot so big it improves
your breathing by 90%.

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