When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you're in a public restroom. As Seen in the men's lavatory! Bathroom Graffiti... If Bush were the Captain of the Titanic He'd say we were stopping for ice. Jesus Saves! But wouldn't it have been better if he had invested. Just because it's clean don't mean it's fresh. If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of Progress? Congress If it wasn't intended to be eaten, it wouldn't be shaped like a taco. Hey NIKE, I Just Did It. Friends don't let friends take home ugly men The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. If you can piss this high, join the fire department. Beauty is only a light switch away. If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! God is dead. -Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. -God If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. Watch out for Limbo Dancers Express Lane: Five beers or less You're too good for him. No wonder you always go home alone. Why are you reading this? The joke is in your hand. Any asshole can piss on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling! The future is in your hands! Sign in the toilet said 'Please use the ashtray'. Guess what was in the ashtray? Written at the very bottom of a bathroom door in very small printing... I had to lean WAY forward to read it... It said: 'You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle!' On a condom vending machine: 'This gum tastes like rubber!' This toilet paper is like John Wayne: it's tough, it's rough... and it doesn't take shit from anyone. Please do not throw cigarette butts in this urinal: it makes them soggy and hard to light. To do is to be. -Descartes To be is to do. -Voltaire To be, or not to be. - William Shakespeare To be is to do. - Jean Paul Sartre To do is to be - Fredrich Hegel Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra Shoo be do be doo - Mel Torme Da do do do, da da da da - The Police Love me, love me do - The Beatles Do me, do me, do me - Charlie Sheen If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington. "I fucked your mother last night!" (and right below it in different handwriting:) "Go home dad, you're drunk." My wife follows me everywhere. (and right below it:) I do not!! Hi, I am 9.5 inches long and two inches thick. (and right below it:) Interesting, and tell me, how big is your dick? Bathroom Bards. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie! Here I sit lonely hearted, Tried to shit but only farted. Gave a grunt but nothing passed, Oops the next stall just got gassed. All of a sudden what a flash, The great big honker made a splash. Water water every where, Gosh it soaked my underwear. Oh neighbor make my day, Please pass another roll this way. Those who write on shithouse walls, Roll their shit in little balls. Those who read these rhymes of wit, Eat those little ball of shit! Took a look on the wall, There's no paper in this stall. So I sit here with no roll, Stranded on this toilet bowl. Here I sit in clouds of vapor Wond'ring who stole the paper How much longer must I linger Before I have to use my finger So here I am with no paper, Guess I'll have to do a shaker, And if that won't rid me of what lingers, Look out asshole here's the fingers. Those who come to nature's stalls, Why do you write upon these walls? Is it because your feeble wit, Only shines where others shit? The cleaner's work was all in vain The phantom scribbler's struck again Some come here to sit and think, Others come here to shit and stink. I come here to scratch my balls and read the writing on the walls. In days of old when knights were bold and toilets were not invented They'd lay their load beside the road and walk away contented. Here I sit with raging shits just about to lose my wits This teepee For pee pee Not wigwam For beating tom-tom. I've shit in England I've shit in France But before I shit here I'll shit in my pants As I sit, I Contemplate, Should I shit or masturbate? How dry I am. How wet I'll be. If I don't find the bathroom key. I found the key. I opened the door. It's too late now. It's on the floor. Here I sit so broken hearted Came to shit, but only farted Then one day I took a chance Thought I'd fart But shit my pants! So here I sit, ass muscles flexin Giving birth to another texan Liquor, Wine, Beer, No Matter I Drank Until I filled My Bladder. And as I read the Crap House News, I somehow Pissed On Both My Shoes. |
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