Graffiti Jokes

Graffiti Jokes



  When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet 
you're in a public restroom.
  As Seen in the men's lavatory! Bathroom Graffiti...


If Bush were the Captain of the Titanic
He'd say we were stopping for ice.


Jesus Saves!
But wouldn't it have been better if he had invested.


Just because it's clean don't mean it's fresh.


If pro is the opposite of con, 
then what is the opposite of Progress?
Congress


If it wasn't intended to be eaten,
it wouldn't be shaped like a taco.


Hey NIKE, I Just Did It.

 
Friends don't let friends take home ugly men


The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.


Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.


If you can piss this high, join the fire department.


Beauty is only a light switch away.


If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then 
let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
 
 
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"


God made pot.  Man made beer.  Who do you trust?


Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick
and tired of putting up with her shit.


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


Make love, not war.
Hell, do both, get married!


God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God


If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.


A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, 
you're going  to have trouble with it.


Watch out for Limbo Dancers


Express Lane: Five beers or less


You're too good for him.


No wonder you always go home alone.


Why are you reading this? The joke is in your hand.


Any asshole can piss on the floor. 
Be a hero and shit on the ceiling!


The future is in your hands!


Sign in the toilet said 'Please use the ashtray'. 
Guess what was in the ashtray?


Written at the very bottom of a bathroom door in very
small printing... I had to lean WAY forward to read it... 
It said: 'You are now shitting at a 45 degree angle!'


On a condom vending machine: 'This gum tastes like rubber!'



This toilet paper is like John Wayne: it's tough, it's rough... 
and it doesn't take shit from anyone.



Please do not throw cigarette butts in this urinal: 
it makes them soggy and hard to light.


To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
To be, or not to be. - William Shakespeare
To be is to do. - Jean Paul Sartre
To do is to be - Fredrich Hegel
Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra
Shoo be do be doo - Mel Torme
Da do do do, da da da da - The Police
Love me, love me do - The Beatles
Do me, do me, do me - Charlie Sheen


If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't 
take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.


"I fucked your mother last night!" 
(and right below it in different handwriting:) 
"Go home dad, you're drunk." 

 
My wife follows me everywhere. 
(and right below it:) 
I do not!! 


Hi, I am 9.5 inches long and two inches thick.
(and right below it:) 
Interesting, and tell me, how big is your dick?



Bathroom Bards.


If you sprinkle when you tinkle,
 Be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!
 

Here I sit lonely hearted,
  Tried to shit but only farted.
Gave a grunt but nothing passed,
  Oops the next stall just got gassed.


All of a sudden what a flash,
  The great big honker made a splash.
Water water every where,
  Gosh it soaked my underwear.


Oh neighbor make my day,
Please pass another roll this way.


Those who write on shithouse walls,
Roll their shit in little balls.
Those who read these rhymes of wit,
Eat those little ball of shit!


Took a look on the wall,
There's no paper in this stall.
So I sit here with no roll,
Stranded on this toilet bowl.


Here I sit in clouds of vapor
Wond'ring who stole the paper
How much longer must I linger
Before I have to use my finger


So here I am with no paper,
Guess I'll have to do a shaker,
And if that won't rid me of what lingers,
Look out asshole here's the fingers.


Those who come to nature's stalls,
Why do you write upon these walls?
Is it because your feeble wit,
Only shines where others shit?


The cleaner's work was all in vain
The phantom scribbler's struck again


Some come here to sit and think, 
Others come here to shit and stink. 
I come here to scratch my balls 
and read the writing on the walls. 
 
  
In days of old when knights were bold 
and toilets were not invented 
They'd lay their load beside the road 
and walk away contented. 


Here I sit with raging shits 
just about to lose my wits 


This teepee 
For pee pee 
Not wigwam 
For beating tom-tom. 


I've shit in England 
I've shit in France 
But before I shit here 
I'll shit in my pants 


As I sit, 
I Contemplate, 
Should I shit 
or masturbate? 

 
How dry I am. 
How wet I'll be. 
If I don't find the bathroom key. 
I found the key. 
I opened the door. 
It's too late now. 
It's on the floor. 


Here I sit so broken hearted 
Came to shit, but only farted 
Then one day I took a chance 
Thought I'd fart But shit my pants! 


So here I sit, ass muscles flexin 
Giving birth to another texan 


Liquor, Wine, Beer, No Matter 
I Drank Until I filled My Bladder. 
And as I read the Crap House News, 
I somehow Pissed On Both My Shoes. 




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