Martial Arts Jokes

Martial Arts Jokes

What do you get when you are attacked by a Black Belt 
 and a Blue Belt?
Beaten Black and Blue.

  There was a 10 year old boy, who's left arm was damaged and
subsequently amputated.  He decided to learn judo.  His Sensei
(teacher) was an old Chinese judo expert.  The boy learned 
  After three months, he had learned only one move.  He asked 
his teacher to teach him more moves.  The Sensai told him that 
this was all he would need.
  Soon after, the boy entered a tournament, where he quickly 
advanced to the finals, where his opponent was bigger and more 
experienced.  The boy seemed very out matched.  After a long 
match, the opponent seemed to loose concentration.  Quickly 
the boy took advantage and pinned what seemed to be his 
superior opponent. 
  On the ride home, the boy asked his Sensai. "How could I win 
with only one move?"
  The Sensai replied, "You have nearly mastered one of the most
difficult moves in all of judo.  And, the only defence against 
that move, is for your opponent to grab your left arm."

  A few years ago I had a friend and student named Bill.  When I 
say student, I mean that he was in one of my Tae Kwon Do classes.
  He was blind.
  He had one of the best senses of humor that I have ever 
encountered, and he also was one of the most determined people 
I have ever dealt with. He refused to let his blindness become 
a handicap.  He would come to class and work out harder than the 
seeing students, and he constantly served as inspiration to all 
of us.
  We traveled to Minneapolis for a tournament when Bill was a 
green belt. It was his first tourney out of the local area, and 
none of the fighters knew him.  Being a rather large and agressive 
guy (240lbs), he easily defeated a number of competitors.  He ran 
into a solid competitor in the third or fourth match, and was 
taking some punishment.  He went wild...
  Bill pretty much fought by the heat was turned up he 
started striking out at anything that he heard...the referee took 
some of the best hits I've ever seen a man take in a match...he 
actually even countered a few until I could get in the ring and 
convince Bill that he was hitting the wrong man.
  Bill was disqualified, but everyone was astonished that a blind
man had been able to fight his way up to third place.

Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts 

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will 
suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

You will have trouble with the ties on your dobok pants when 
members of the opposite sex are in class.

The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, 
the instructor will be sick.

The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for 
joint-locking techniques.

If you have to use your training in self-defense, 
your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back
to your seat.

After years of training without a single injury, you will pull 
a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will 
have the locker right next to yours.

No matter how many times you take care of it before your 
promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom 
when it's your turn.

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