The Bill Clinton Joke Page

Bill Clinton Jokes Hillary Clinton Jokes Gennifer Flowers Jokes
Monica Lewinsky Jokes Whitehouse Interns Chelsea Clinton Jokes
Ken Starr Jokes Bill Clinton Parodies Linda Tripp Jokes

Gennifer Flowers Jokes

Why did Bill dump Gennifer Flowers?
He doesn't want Bush in the white house.

Why did Gennifer Flowers pose naked in Penthouse?
So people could actually see something that one of the 
candidates has done.

Why does Gennifer Flowers want to go into politics?
She liked her taste of the presidency.

Why did Clinton date Flowers?
So he could get a taste of the oval orifice.

What are the first changes Clinton will make in the White House?
He want's the Bushes removed and Flowers on the tables.

How is Bill Clinton like a pile of shit?
They can both fertilize Flowers.

What does Gennifer Flowers do when she misses Bill Clinton?
Eats waffles.

Why did Gennifer Flowers advise Clinton to run for president?
She knew he could lick Bush.

What was Gennifer Flower's first big break?
Opening for Bill Clinton.

What's Bill Clinton's favorite movie?
Gennifer Ate.

  At a news conference, a journalist said to the President Clinton, 
Gennifer Flowers said publicly that you have a small penis. Would 
you please comment on this.
  "The truth is," said Bill, "that she has a big mouth."

  So it's about Bill Clinton's new revelations about his sex life. 
Seems today he finally admitted that he had sex with Gennifer 
Flowers a couple of times....but he didn't come.

It's 2:00 am, and Mr. Clinton arrives home late!
Hillary: Damn it Bill, where have you been?!
Bill: Out in the White House garden fertilizing Flowers.

Please keep in mind, Jennifer Flowers has also been 
accused of "pulling a Clinton".

Chelsea Clinton Jokes

  Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once 
upon a time...?"
  Bill Clinton replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected...'"

  Even though Chelsea is in California at Stanford, President Clinton 
is acting like she's still at the White House.
  Yesterday, he invited all of her friends over for a pajama party.

What does Chelsea Clinton call the sexual allegations against her father?

Why do Bill and Hillary take Chelsea everywhere they go?
They don't want to have to kiss her good-bye.

Why were the Clinton's so delighted to move to DC.
'Cause in Arkansas, Chelsea would be married & pregnant, by now.

Why won't Clinton enroll his daughter in public school?
The Secret Service doesn't like being outgunned.

What do you get when you cross a draft dodger with a ball buster?
Chelsea Clinton.

Why did Bubba and Hillary only have one kid?
Vince Foster is dead.

  Chelsea won the spelling bee in school...she was the only one 
who could spell Chappaquidick.

  Barbara Bush to Hillary Clinton: "Your daughter's so ugly 
Woody Allen wouldn't touch her."

Top Cool Things About Dating the President's Daughter

Can send the Secret Service guy into 7-11 to buy you beer.

That chemistry teacher who gave you a "D"? Deported to Iraq.

When he says, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," you're in
   business, my friend.

Great free investment advice from Hillary.

At restaurants, when the bill comes, she just says, "Put it
   on the national debt."

She knows where he keeps the pot.

Linda Tripp Jokes

Linda Tripp has recently undergone extensive plastic surgery.  This
caused , Scott Ostler of the _San Francisco Chronicle_ to quip that she
was "having one of her faces removed."  The surgeon must have done good
work, because David Letterman said:  "Honest to God, she looks like a
new man."


  Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White and Quasimodo 
were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules says "You know, 
everyone says I am the strongest mortal on the earth, but 
I don't know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot.
  Snow White said "You're right! Everyone says I am the 
fairest, but how can I be sure?"
  Quasimodo agrees. "Yeah, and I'm supposed to be the 
  Suddenly, Snow White has an idea... "You know, guys, 
I've got the answer. Let's pray about this and ask God 
to tell us the truth."
  Hercules  says "Great. Let's meet tomorrow and tell 
our tales."
  Quasimodo gets  up to leave and says "See you tomorrow. 
Boy, I'm going to find out for certain that I'm the ugliest."
  The next day they met at a restaurant in town.
  Hercules says, "I talked to God, and He says that I am
truly the strongest."
  Snow White says, "So did I, and I am truly the fairest.
  Quasimodo has his head down, leaning on the table and says,  
"I'm bummed, who's this Linda Tripp?"

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