Translation Jokes

Translation Jokes



Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
discovered throughout the world.


Japanese hotel room:
Please to bathe inside the tub.


In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.


In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service.


In an East African newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have
thrown in the bulk of their workers.


A translated sentence from a Russian chess book:
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has
been played.


On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.


Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:
Stop: Drive sideways.


In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notice.


In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time 
we regret that you will be unbearable.


In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin 
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of 
wishing floor.


In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.


In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the 
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.


In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.


In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox 
monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian 
and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily 
except Thursday.


In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the 
boots of ascension.


On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.


On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy 
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; 
beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.


Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.


Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.


In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute 
customers in strict rotation.


Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet 
Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over 
the past two years.


A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site 
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, 
live together in one tent unless they are married with each 
other for that purpose.


In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the 
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby 
be used for this purpose.


In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon 
having a good time.


In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages.


Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?


In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.


In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.


In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.


On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.


In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, 
give it to the guard on duty.


In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.


In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.


In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are 
best in the long run.


From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel 
air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in 
your room, please control yourself.


From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. 
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles 
your passage then tootle him with vigor.


Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking.
Here speeching American.


Sign in Japanese public bath: 
Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub. 


Second-hand shop window ad: 
Used ladies and boys 


Sign in a men's restroom in Japan: 
To stop leak turn cock to the right. 


Tokyo hotel's rules and regs (in English): 
Guests are requested not to smoke and do other disgusting 
behaviors in bed 


A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
If You Wish Disinfection Enacted In Your Presence, 
Please Cry Out For The Chambermaid


In the window of a Swedish furrier the message reads:
Fur Coats Made For Ladies From Their Own Skin.


The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
If You Wish For Breakfast, Lift The Telephone And Ask For 
Roomservice. This Will Be Enough For You To Bring Your Food Up


A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
As For The Trout Served You At The Hotel Monopol, You Will 
Be Singing Its Praise To Your Grandchildren As You Lie On 
Your Deathbed.


The Sorrento hotel:
Contact The Concierge Immediately For Informations. Please 
Don't Wait Last Minutes Then It Will Be Too Late To Arrange 
Any Inconveniences.


Some German hospitals now display the sign:
No Children Allowed In The Maternity Wards.

 
The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athen's hotel reads"
If You Consider Our Help Impolite, You Should See The Manager
 

A London eaterie advertised for help this way:
Wanted: Man To Wash Dishes And Two Waitresses


A notice in a Vienna hotel urges:
In Case Of Fire Do Your Utmost To Alarm The Hall Porter.


Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, 
where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".


Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into 
Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. 
Not too many people had use for the "manure stick".


 Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following 
in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.


 In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' 
good" came out as "eat your fingers off".


 The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", 
was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, 
you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and 
empty".


 When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the 
same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby 
on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies 
routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since 
most people can't read English.


 Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, 
the name of a notorious porno magazine.


 An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish
market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope"
(el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).


 In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the 
name into "Schweppes Toilet Water".


 Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into
"Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.


 We all know about GM's Chevy Nova meaning "it won't go" in 
Spanish markets, but did you know that Ford had a similar 
problem in Brazil with the Pinto? Pinto was Brazilian slang 
for "tiny male genitals". Ford renamed the automobile Corcel, 
meaning "horse".


 Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada 
as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means 
"big breasts".

 Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make 
a "tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an 
aroused man to make a chicken affectionate".


 When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were
supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass
you".  Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to
impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in 
your pocket and make you pregnant".


 The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke- la",
meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax",
depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters 
to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko- le", translating into
"happiness in the mouth".


 Three years ago, during a trip to Indiana, my folks decided to
show off their new "real" Mexican restaurant, named Chi-chi's. 
Upon seeing the name on the marquee, my partner started to laugh. 
My folks asked him why he was laughing, and he explained that in 
Mexican Spanish, "chi-chi's" literally means "titties." 


 Probably the most famous of all is John Kennedy's announcement to
the people of Berlin, "Ich bin ein Berliner!" JFK thought he said, 
"I am a citizen of Berlin!" What he *really* said was, "I am a 
jelly doughnut!" ("Berliner" is German for "jelly doughnut".)


 Some friends from England visited us a few years back. Their 
teenage daughter got a huge laugh from the name of an airline 
back then: The Trump Shuttle (Donald Trump's airline). They 
said in England, "Trump" translated into "fart"!


 No wonder macs are the best selling computer in Japan, Microsofts
Windows '95 ad slogan, translated into Japanese: "If you don't know
where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken."



The following are items found overseas in which people have 
made inappropriate use of English words for various products, 
and bizzare menu items in resturants. 

Menu Items 

Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce       -  China 

Indonesian Nazi Goreng                                      -  Hong Kong 

Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos                          -  Cairo 

Prawn cock and tail                                         -  Cairo 

Cock in wine/Lioness cutlet                                 -  Cairo 

French fried ships                                          -  Cairo 

Garlic Coffee                                               -  Europe 

Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style)                      -  Europe 

Boiled Frogfish                                             -  Europe 

Sweat from the trolley                                      -  Europe 

Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream                  -  China 

Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse     -  Hong Kong 

Roasted duck let loose                                      -  Poland 

Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion       -  Poland 

Fried friendship                                            -  Nepal 

Strawberry crap                                             -  Japan 

Pork with fresh garbage                                     -  Vietnam 

Toes with butter and jam                                    -  Bali 

Goose Barnacles                                             -  Spain 

French Creeps                                               -  L.A. 

Fried fishermen                                             -  Japan 

Buttered saucepans and fried hormones                       -  Japan 

Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes                 -  Japan 

Pepelea's Meat Balls                                        -  Romania 



Product Names 

Clean Finger Nail      -  Chinese tissues 

Kolic                  -  Japanese mineral water 

Creap Creamy Powder    -  Japanese Coffee Creamer 

Last Climax            -  Japanese tissues 

Ass Glue               -  Chinese glues 

Swine                  -  Chinese chocolates 

Libido                 -  Chinese soda 

Pocari Sweat           -  Japanese sport drink 

Ban Cock               -  Indian cockroach repellent 

Shocking               -  Japanese chewing gum 

Homo sausage           -  East Asian fish sausage 

Cat Wetty              -  Japanese moistened hand towels 

Hornyphon              -  Austrian video recorder 

Shitto                 -  Ghanian pepper sauce 

Pipi                   -  Yugoslavian orangeade 

Crundy                 -  Japanese gourmet candy 

Superglans             -  Netherlands car wax 

I'm Dripper            -  Japanese instant coffee 

Zit                    -  Greek soft drink 

My Fanny               -  Japanese toilet paper 

Colon Plus             -  Spanish detergent    

Polio                  -  Czechoslovakian laundry detergent




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