Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world. Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courageous, efficient self-service. In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers. A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played. On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive sideways. In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notice. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension. On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion. Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs. In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results. Outside a Paris dress shop: Dresses for street walking. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation. Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years. A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose. In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream. In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions. On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. In a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run. From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor. Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: English well talking. Here speeching American. Sign in Japanese public bath: Foreign guests are requested not to pull cock in tub. Second-hand shop window ad: Used ladies and boys Sign in a men's restroom in Japan: To stop leak turn cock to the right. Tokyo hotel's rules and regs (in English): Guests are requested not to smoke and do other disgusting behaviors in bed A hotel notice in Madrid informs: If You Wish Disinfection Enacted In Your Presence, Please Cry Out For The Chambermaid In the window of a Swedish furrier the message reads: Fur Coats Made For Ladies From Their Own Skin. The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you: If You Wish For Breakfast, Lift The Telephone And Ask For Roomservice. This Will Be Enough For You To Bring Your Food Up A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer: As For The Trout Served You At The Hotel Monopol, You Will Be Singing Its Praise To Your Grandchildren As You Lie On Your Deathbed. The Sorrento hotel: Contact The Concierge Immediately For Informations. Please Don't Wait Last Minutes Then It Will Be Too Late To Arrange Any Inconveniences. Some German hospitals now display the sign: No Children Allowed In The Maternity Wards. The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athen's hotel reads" If You Consider Our Help Impolite, You Should See The Manager A London eaterie advertised for help this way: Wanted: Man To Wash Dishes And Two Waitresses A notice in a Vienna hotel urges: In Case Of Fire Do Your Utmost To Alarm The Hall Porter. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea". Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick". Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. In Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off". The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty". When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read English. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa). In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water". Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese. We all know about GM's Chevy Nova meaning "it won't go" in Spanish markets, but did you know that Ford had a similar problem in Brazil with the Pinto? Pinto was Brazilian slang for "tiny male genitals". Ford renamed the automobile Corcel, meaning "horse". Hunt-Wesson introduced Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos. Later they found out that in slang it means "big breasts". Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a "tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate". When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant". The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke- la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko- le", translating into "happiness in the mouth". Three years ago, during a trip to Indiana, my folks decided to show off their new "real" Mexican restaurant, named Chi-chi's. Upon seeing the name on the marquee, my partner started to laugh. My folks asked him why he was laughing, and he explained that in Mexican Spanish, "chi-chi's" literally means "titties." Probably the most famous of all is John Kennedy's announcement to the people of Berlin, "Ich bin ein Berliner!" JFK thought he said, "I am a citizen of Berlin!" What he *really* said was, "I am a jelly doughnut!" ("Berliner" is German for "jelly doughnut".) Some friends from England visited us a few years back. Their teenage daughter got a huge laugh from the name of an airline back then: The Trump Shuttle (Donald Trump's airline). They said in England, "Trump" translated into "fart"! No wonder macs are the best selling computer in Japan, Microsofts Windows '95 ad slogan, translated into Japanese: "If you don't know where you want to go, we'll make sure you get taken." The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizzare menu items in resturants. Menu Items Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo Prawn cock and tail - Cairo Cock in wine/Lioness cutlet - Cairo French fried ships - Cairo Garlic Coffee - Europe Sole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - Europe Boiled Frogfish - Europe Sweat from the trolley - Europe Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong Roasted duck let loose - Poland Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland Fried friendship - Nepal Strawberry crap - Japan Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam Toes with butter and jam - Bali Goose Barnacles - Spain French Creeps - L.A. Fried fishermen - Japan Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan Pepelea's Meat Balls - Romania Product Names Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissues Kolic - Japanese mineral water Creap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee Creamer Last Climax - Japanese tissues Ass Glue - Chinese glues Swine - Chinese chocolates Libido - Chinese soda Pocari Sweat - Japanese sport drink Ban Cock - Indian cockroach repellent Shocking - Japanese chewing gum Homo sausage - East Asian fish sausage Cat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towels Hornyphon - Austrian video recorder Shitto - Ghanian pepper sauce Pipi - Yugoslavian orangeade Crundy - Japanese gourmet candy Superglans - Netherlands car wax I'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffee Zit - Greek soft drink My Fanny - Japanese toilet paper Colon Plus - Spanish detergent Polio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergent |
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