A loser talking to his dad the day after his wedding: "Son, how'd it go last night?" "Great, Dad! Hell, the way she was acting I think I could have fucked her." Manny and Frieda get married. Right after the wedding reception they go to the airport and fly down to the sunny Carib and check into the resort hotel. Manny tips the bellhop, and sends him on his way. Standing there together, expecting a wonderful Honymoon kiss, Frieda is very surprised when Manny pulls quickly pulls off his pants and throws them in her face. Manny says, "Here you go Frieda, put those on." She is, of course, taken aback, but not wanting to start the honeymoon off with a tiff, she complies. "Maybe it's a little love game," she thinks. Each time she pulls them up, they slide back down, being several sizes too big. "I can't wear your pants," she exclaims. "Exactly right," says Manny. "I wear the pants in this family. That's how it's gonna stay. Just you remember that." She stands there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot lightly, and gives him one of "those" looks. Then she reaches down and pulls off her panties. She throws them in Manny's face. "Put those on, your Highness," says Frieda. Manny thinks it's kind of "cute", obviously, now that he's established his superiority, she wants to play a sexy little game, so he goes along with the joke. The tiny white bikini underpants are far too tight to even get over his upper thighs, naturally, so he says..."I can't get into your pants!" Frieda says, "Exactly right, Mr. King Shit, and until you fix your God-damned attitude, that's how it's gonna stay." You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!" A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK. "Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love". The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!" |
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