Honeymoon Jokes

Honeymoon Jokes

  A loser talking to his dad the day after his wedding:
  "Son, how'd it go last night?"
  "Great, Dad! Hell, the way she was acting I think I could have 
fucked her."

  Manny and Frieda get married.  Right after the wedding reception 
they go to the airport and fly down to the sunny Carib and check 
into the resort hotel.
  Manny tips the bellhop, and sends him on his way. Standing there 
together, expecting a wonderful Honymoon kiss, Frieda is very 
surprised when Manny pulls quickly pulls off his pants and throws 
them in her face.
  Manny says, "Here you go Frieda, put those on."
  She is, of course, taken aback, but not wanting to start the 
honeymoon off with a tiff, she complies. "Maybe it's a little love 
game," she thinks.
  Each time she pulls them up, they slide back down, being several 
sizes too big.
  "I can't wear your pants," she exclaims.
  "Exactly right," says Manny.  "I wear the pants in this family.
That's how it's gonna stay. Just you remember that."
  She stands there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot lightly, 
and gives him one of "those" looks.  Then she reaches down and pulls
off her panties. She throws them in Manny's face.
  "Put those on, your Highness," says Frieda.
  Manny thinks it's kind of "cute", obviously, now that he's 
established his superiority, she wants to play a sexy little game, 
so he goes along with the joke.  The tiny white bikini underpants 
are far too tight to even get over his upper thighs, naturally, so 
he says..."I can't get into your pants!"
  Frieda says,  "Exactly right, Mr. King Shit, and until you fix 
your God-damned attitude, that's how it's gonna stay."

  You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed 
to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled 
up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they 
could make it appear that they had been married a long time.
  He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

  A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log 
cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday 
and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the 
resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these 
newlyweds. The old man decided to go and see if they were all right.
  He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside 
answered. The old man asked if they were OK.
  "Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".
  The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing
the peelings out the window...they're choking my ducks!"

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