Tonya Harding Jokes

Tonya Harding Jokes


What do you get if you cross Dr. Kevorkian, Dr. Ruth and Tonya Harding?
A killer orgasm that makes your knees buckle.


What is Tonya Harding's favorite book?
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.


Why is Tonya so popular?
She's a striking woman.


What's Tonya's favorite movie?
Dirty Ice Dancing.


Why did they let Jeff Gillooly and Tonya Harding sing the National 
 Anthem at the Olympics?
They have a good set of pipes.



* Do you get frustrated every softball season by losing to that same
  team with all the big sluggers year-in and year-out?

* Are you tired of always getting beat 6-0, 6-0 by that arrogant
  tennis playing buddy of yourswith the killer serve?

* Haven't you had enough of that annoying golf buddy who always seems
  to shoot in the low 80's against you?

Just tired of always losing to someone better than you?

NO PROBLEM!!!

Let us do the dirty work for you at the
TONYA HARDING CENTER FOR OPPONENT NEUTRALIZATION

That's right, for a small fee we can rough up, maim, dismember, 
paralyze, cripple or even kill that person or persons who are 
blocking your path to athletic success.
 

Check out our price list:
Blow to the knee................................................$ 99.95
Blow to both knees (a better buy)...............................$149.95
Blow to the head................................................$124.95
Knife in the back (tennis players only).........................$ 49.95
Kick to the groin (male athletes only)..........................$  9.95
Poking out one eye..............................................$ 49.95
Poking out both eyes (Three Stooges style)......................$ 79.95
Gun shot to the knee............................................$199.95
Gun shot to both knees..........................................$299.95
Gun shot to the head............................................$499.95
Impalement in a public place....................................$999.95

* Remember, WEDNESDAYS are bonus days.  Contract one malicious act of
  cruelty and receive another at 50% off.  

* With every order over $300.00, you automatically receive a 
  collapsible hard-plastic baton personally signed by Tonya herself,
  just like the one used to beat the crap out of Nancy Kerrigan.

* Order now and receive absolutely free:  The Lorena Bobbitt Home
  Castration Kit.  --  Sex crazed husband NOT included!

To order, call toll-free at 1-800-JUST-WIN




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