Snow Jokes

Snow Jokes

I like snow.  It fills all the potholes.

How come a snowbank is never overdrawn?

A hot summer sun has its advantages.  You don't have to shovel it!

Dear Diary,

AUG 12   Moved to our new home in upstate New York. It is so beautiful 
here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with 
snow on them. I love it here.

OCT 14   Upstate New York is the most beautiful place on earth. The 
leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for 
a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so 
graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This 
must be paradise. I love it here.

NOV 11   Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to 
kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC 2    It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with 
white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off 
the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and 
when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel again. What a beautiful place.
I love upstate New York.

DEC 12   More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick 
again to the driveway. I love it here!

DEC 19   More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to 
work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.

DEC 22   More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my 
hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve and 
waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole!

DEC 25   Merry Fucking Christmas! More friggin snow. If I ever get my 
hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll kill 
the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt 
the fucking ice.

DEC 27   More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except for 
shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. 
Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white shit. The 
weatherman says to expect another 10" of the shit again tonight. Do you 
know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

DEC 28   The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white shit 
this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow plow 
got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to 
borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already 
shoveling  all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one 
over his fucking head.

JAN 4   Finally out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and 
on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did 
about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking beasts should be killed. 
Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

MAY 3   Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing 
is rusting out from that fucking salt they put all over the road.

MAY 10   Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind 
would want to live in that God-forsaken state of New York.

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