Hurricane Jokes

Hurricane Jokes

Q.>  Why are hurricanes named after women?
A.>  Because they arrive all wet and wild and when they 
     leave they take your house and your car.

Q.>  Why are hurricanes named after men?
A.>  Because they're noisy, make a huge mess, and if you 
     look into their eyes there's nothing there.

Ed.Note: They are however called HURricanes and not HISricanes...

Q. whats the difference between hurricane bonnie and hurricane monica?
A. hurricane monica blew a crooked path
A. hurricane bonnie induced only one surge (vs 18)

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Hang on to your nuts - this isn't going to be a regular blow job!

Q: What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane 
in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody's fixin' to lose them a trailer.

A man once asked his friend the difference between a cyclone, A hurricane 
and a divorced wife.
Nothing, They all get the house.

What do anabolic steroids and Hurricane Gilbert have in common?
They make Jamaicans run like hell.

I understand that in Dade county, there's a run on flat house paint.

  H U R R I C A N E  S U R V I V A L   Q U I Z

  1. How are hurricane's names selected?

    a. Named after Congressmen who are full of hot air
    b. Names of spouses are submitted by divorced people
    c. Page 824 in Miami's phone book
    d. Hurricanes don't care what you call them

  2. What do they call the most severe hurricane?

    a. Category 5
    b. Red Alert
    c. Costly

  3. If a hurricane Guido, with wind speeds of 104 MPH leaves the
     Northwest African coast on Wednesday at 7:04 AM and is traveling
     West at 16 MPH and hurricane Isabel, with wind speeds of 93 MPH
     leaves Key West at 24 MPH on Thursday at 11:32 AM; when would
     they meet?

    a. Tuesday at 3:18 PM, but their luggage would be in Paris
    b. Never, Isabel doesn't want to have anything to do with a
       blowhard like Guido
    c. Never, Guido said that there's no place for Isabel to stop
       and ask directions; she'll probably end up in Rio
    d. Trick question - hurricanes don't depart from Key West

  4. You're flying in a small, single engine plane. You look up and
     see a hurricane directly ahead. What's the first thing that
     enters your mind?

    a. It's got the right of way! It's got the right of way!
    b. This is the last time I fly no-frills
    c. I can't believe she's going to get EVERYTHING now!
    d. I gotta change my shorts!
    e. The windshield

  5. A hurricane is dangerous if...

    a. you get in it's way
    b. it's had a REALLY bad day
    c. you try to stop it to ask directions
    d. you do not yield right of way

  6. How do forecasters know a hurricane is coming?

    a. Hurricanes ALWAYS leave a forwarding address
    b. They have REALLY good binoculars
    c. Hurricanes LOVE the beach
    d. They send out a bunch of small boats and plot the sinkings

  7. How can you protect your house in the event of a hurricane?

    a. Sell it - QUICK
    b. Bury it and dig it up later
    c. Cover it with leaves and pretend it's a big bush
    d. Two words -- Duct tape

  8. What is the first thing you should do if a hurricane is confirmed
     to be heading in your direction?

    a. Check your supplies for the big hurricane party
    b. Air drop a roadmap, of another area, into the eye
    c. Put out all your trash for immediate air disposal
    d. Begin drawing plans for the new house you will soon be building

  9. What should you NOT do if a hurricane is coming?

    a. Begin those remodeling plans you've been putting off
    b. Put the cat or dog out (unless on a LONG leash)
    c. Cancel your homeowner's insurance
    d. Go on a picnic, to the beach

10. When is it a good time to evacuate your home?

    a. When the water level reaches the roof
    b. When your in-ground swimming pool becomes airborne
    c. Shortly after your roof is declared a UFO
    d. When people ask how you constructed a home without outer walls

11. Where should you evacuate?

    a. A nearby lowland to wait out the floods
    b. A tall location, like on top of a radio tower or one of
       Florida's many mountain tops
    c. Anywhere that has a happy hour and free munchies
    d. Out to sea on a small craft

12. Why should you NOT stay close to the beach?

    a. All the best spots are probably taken
    b. Track in too much sand
    c. Cooler keeps blownin' away
    d. Hard to stay put under the 50' waves

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