The Top 15 Reasons For Being Fired From Toys 'R' Us 15> A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean. 14> Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all." 13> You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks. 12> Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display. 11> You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer. 10> Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition. 9> The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling. 8> Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct. 7> Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again. 6> Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe. 5> Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel. 4> Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack." 3> Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success. 2> Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar. 1> Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I R on break." by Chris White and Ziff Davis |
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