What happens to a footballer who loses his eyesight? He becomes a referee Why do women love German footballers? Because they're on top for 90 minutes and still come second. Why are Englishmen such lousy lovers? They'll wait 90 minutes, then put it in twice in the last minute and think there the world's best lovers! What's the most popular song, sung by drunken fans, at a Germany versus England soccer match? 'Take Me Out to the Brawl Game'. What do you call an Italian in the World Cup Final? Referee. A recent press report unveiled the latest sponsor of the English football team, Tampax, believe it or not. The Football Association thought it was appropriate as it is no secret that the team is going through a particularly bad period! In a recent poll of Monks, 46% predicted Brazil will win the 1998 World Cup. (The Sports Network said it was a silent vote) I'm not sure if your average Monk knows more about soccer than you average soccer fan but when a Monk gives opinions about balls, headers, who's going to score and how many times, who's on top of who, who's all tied up, who'll finish first and who'll lick who easily, they're not lying about their sex life. Why do so many Americans play soccer? So they don't have to watch it on TV. How can you tell when the World Cup is going on??? All of a sudden the word 'header' doesn't sound dirty anymore! How do they settle tie soccer matches in Columbia? With a 'Shootout'. What's the difference between England's world cup soccer squad and a teabag? A tea bag stays in the cup longer. A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous." There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favourite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squashed up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door. The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you? |
|