Sales Jokes

Sales Jokes

You might be in sales or marketing if

all of your T-shirts are from trade shows

you can charge extra for bugs and later charge more for fixing them
you have more flying hours than a commercial pilot
you can build up frequent fly mileage to go to Australia in 2 weeks

the feature set of the product is dynamically linked to what your 
brain can generate on the fly when you talk to a customer

you lose concentration after 3 consecutive technical terms

you can sell customers any prototypes you find sitting in the lab

you sell something first then forget to tell the engineers to build 
them until after they are due

your idea to motivate engineers is to give them rides in your Ferrarri

going to bars is considered overtime

when doing a demo you forget what it is precisely that the thing is
supposed to do

Comdex in Las Vegas is the ultimate party event

your cellular phone bill is proportional to your commission

you can manage to charge extra for bugs

you throw in the Brooklyn bridge as an incentive to close a deal

your product specifications are written on both sides of a napkin

you've ever passed a "Virus Hoax" to all your colleagues, when 
the bottom of the message contained an obvious sales pitch from 
the originator.

you have ever paid someone (probably at BestBuy or Radio Shack) 
to install PC hardware or to scan/remove viruses from your PC.

your VCR at home has flashed 12:00AM for the last five years.

you have no idea how to change the preset stations on your car stereo.

Think "connecting with a customer" involves dialing a number

Realize 90% of your wardrobe consists of denim shirts with logos on them

While at lunch, wonder how the company can sell more products and
promptly expense lunch

Think "repeat business" refers to a particularly boring work week

Prepare for customer contact by reading Golf Digest

Refer to your client contact list as the "sucker folder"

Chomp stogies so that you can hide your laughter when a customer 
says, "Really, you can do that?"

Describe all bugs with the words "it hangs"

Think engineers have it easy

Think engineers think sales people have it easy

You get your, "you may be an ..." list from someone else instead 
of building it yourself.

you thinks rocks are edible, and can be sold as a food product.

you can name more than 6 "Days of Our Lives" episodes.

you think ascii is a yogurt flavoring

  A sportsman went to a hunting lodge and bagged a record number of birds, 
aided by a dog named Salesman.  The next year he returned and asked for 
Salesman again.
  "The hound ain't no durn good now," the handler said.
  "What happened!" cried the sportsman.  "Was he injured?"
  "No.  Some fool came down here and called him `Sales Manager' all week 
instead of Salesman.  Now all he does is sit on his tail and bark."

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