One of the interesting things to learn about going to the south has been trying to understand the conversation which goes on around you. I have developed a whole new appreciation for language and culture. Witness: The Atlanta School Board, sensing that Oakland is about to cash in with the "Gummit" by labelling Black slang as a language, "Ebonics," has decided to pursue some of that endless taxpayer money pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this would be a Hickophone. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics-English dictionary: A: ABODE: a piece of wood, as "Han me a bode to put on the fire." AID: noun. what a hen lays AINTS: noun, insect. He's got aints in his paints ALL: noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." ARN: Ma's tard of arnin ARTERY: The study of painting AUTO: (should) - "I auto go to work, but ahm tared." AX: (question) - "Ah ax you this." B: BACTERIA: The back door of the cafeteria BAG: He bagged her to marry him BAHS: noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!" BALKS: (a square thaing) - like a "match balks" BAMMER: noun. The state just west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." BARD: verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." BARE: noun. An acloholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." BARIUM: What the doctors do when patients die BARN: (hatched) - "I was barn in nineteen forty and three." BIT: A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways." BOB WAR: noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence. BOWEL: A letter like A, E, I, O, or U BRAID: (lot braid) - what you eat when u'ins outta biscuits. BRESH: He had a bresh with the law, and the law won. BUB: the light bub burned out BYTE: First word in a kiss-off phrase. C: CAESARIAN SECTION: A neighborhood in Rome CAD: (to tote) - "I cad ma bride over the threshold." CAT SCAN: Looking for Fluffy CAUTERIZE: Made eye contact with her CHEER: (whut you sit on) - Pull up a cheer and set down. CHINY: country over in Asia CHUCH DUDS: Sunday go-to-meetin clothes CLUM: he sure clum that tree fastern any 'coon COLIC: A sheep dog CORE: He got hisself a new Ford core CRICK: a small stream CURSOR: What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. CYOW: Animal on Farm D: D & C: Where Washington is DAINZ: Satidy night social DEPPITY: He helps out the shurf DID: (not alive) - as "He's did." DIGITAL CONTROL: What yore fingers do on the TV remote. DRIBBED: He dribbed milk on his shirt E: EAR: noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless your'e in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!" ELLUM: A graceful tree ENEMA: Not a friend F: FAINCE: Whats round the hawg lot FANGER: what you put your rang on FAR: A burnin' pile of sticks. FARN: adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country." FAT: noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'all." FLAR: a rose is a purdy flar FLOPPY: When you run out of Polygrip. FRASH: them aigs ain't frash FUSSED: Whut comes before second? FURINERS: All non-'bamans FURRED: He got furred from his job G: GENITAL: Not a Jew G.I. SERIES: A soldiers' ball game GRAIN: She was grain with envy GULL: A young female human. GULLY WORSHER: a medium heavy rain GUMMIT: Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gummit boys shore are ignert." H: HAIL: where bad folks go HANGNAIL: A coat hook HARD: got a brend new hard hand HARD DRIVE: Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer. HAZE: a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf." HEAVEN: (having) - A'm heaven some folks in foah dinnah. HEAVY DEW: phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor? Go bah me that Linnerd Skinnerd tape" HEIDI: noun. Greeting. HEP: Poor George, he can't hep it, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. HERN: It aint hern, it's his'n HILLBILLY: People in the next county HIRE YEW: Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew." HOD: adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix." HOLLAR: whats between the hills HOT: noun. A blood-pumping organ. I: ICE COOL: A school for younguns befoe college. IGNERT: adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!" IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known J: JAWJUH: noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." JEW HERE: Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" K: KEYBOARD - Place to hang your truck keys. L: LABOR PAIN: Getting hurt at work LAIG: Most folks have two of them LAN: To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck." LATHER: what you climb up LAYMAN: a sour fruit LIBERRY: where you go to check out books for larnin LOT (undark) - "Jeannie with the lot-brown haar." M: MAILK: what you get from cyows MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane MERE: what you see your self in MINNERS: Live bait MISRUS: Married Woman MODEM: how you got rid of your dandelions. MUNTS: noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." N: NAR: Opposite of wide NAYK: Your head sets on it NETWORK: Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line. NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates NODE: Was aware of NUP: NO O: ORREL: Them hinges need orrel ORMY: What the sojers go in OUTPATIENT: A person who fainted P: PACKET: What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip. PAINTS: what cha put on your laigs of a mornin PANK: a light red color PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test PARCH: sit out on the parch and watch the grass grow PELVIS: Elvis' nickname PETITION: What separate the rooms PIN: Whut you keep hawgs in....a hawg pin. POKE: a paper bag or sack POKEY: what the shurf and deppity puts crimnals in POP: a soft drink PUPPET: what the preacher is in PURDY: She is purdy as a pitcher PURT NEAR: almost; he purt near caught that greased pig R: RAH CHEER: I was born rah cheer in town RAINCH: A big cow farm RANCH: noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." RANG: you wear it on your fanger RAT CHEER: (not there)....(Here) - Like "Lay it rat cheer." RAT: Do it rat now! RATS: noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." REBOOT: What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff. RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do re-upholstery RECTUM: Dang near killed `em RETARD: Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65." ROM: Delicious when you mix it with coca cola. ROONT: She plum roont her shoes RUT: that there tree sure has long ruts S: SALARY: A stringy vegetable SEED: verb, past tense of see. SEIZURE: A Roman emperor SHAR: A light rain SHURF: The Shurf put Clem in jail SKEERED: that plumb skeered me to death SOARDEENS: small canned fish SPRANG: Water out'n the ground SQUARSH: noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten). Usage: "Warsh that squarsh...you don't know where its been! STORCH: this here aprn has to much storch in it STOW: A place that sells stuff. T: TABLET: A small table TAR: noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TARRED: adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Lanner and boy my arms are tarred." TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the airport THANK: verb. Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." THO: tho me the ball THOAT: I shore got a sore thoat THUD: what comes after second? TIN-SIN-STOW: (5 & 10) "Let's go to the tin-sin-stow." TIRE: noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." TUMOR: A total of at least three U: URINE: Opposite of you're out V: VIEW: contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" W: WAR: a bobbed war faince WARSH: verb. To clean. WARTER: what you worsh your face in WORSH: go worsh your face Y: Y'ALL: noun. A degree of rotation. Usage: "There are three degrees of Southern rotation: Pitch, Roll, and Y'all." YURP: a continent overseas THE UNITED STATES: Taixas - Texas Ole Missipi - Mississippi Alabamr - Alabama Jawjaw -Georgia Flawda - Florida South Calinah -South Carolina Nawth Calinah - North Carolina Virginny - Virginnia Caintuck - Kentucky New Yawk - New York |
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