Richard M. Nixon Jokes



How can you tell if Richard Nixon has been walking on the beach?
He only leaves heel marks 


What do John Bobbitt and the Nixons have in common?
Both have dead Dicks.


Why's Nixon so popular among liberals now?
They've always liked the Dead.


What do Nixon and Clinton have in common?
The same political future.

What else do they have in common?
Neither inhale.


How were things different in the '60's?
Nobody dug Nixon.


What do Nixon and a giant redwood have in common?
Both are planted in California.


Who was most upset when Nixon died?
Other dead people.


What's the difference between Nixon and Reagan?
Nixon's brain cells might last a little longer.


What's the difference between Nixon and Lincoln?
Lincoln's beard won him the election in '60.


Why will they cut off Tricky Dick's head?
So they'll still have Nixon to kick around.


Why's Richard Nixon like an old collectors item?
Both are worth more in the box.


What will they call the TV movie about Richard & Pat Nixon?
Diff'rent Strokes.




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