Other Politician Jokes

Other Politician Jokes

What do Ross Perot and Saddam Hussein have in common?
Both are trying to overthrow the US Government.

Why did Perot withdraw from the race?
He found out how much the job pays.

What was J. Edgar Hoover's motto?
That he always gets his man.

Where did Hillary Clinton get her ball gown?
From the J. Edgar Hoover collection.

How did FBI agents stay clean?
They got sucked by a Hoover.

Hear about the new movie about J. Edgar Hoover?
It's called, "Pretty Ugly Woman."

  The Federal Bureau of Investigation today released it long-awaited 
report on the late New York Yankee superstar, Mickey Mantle. The sordid 
report detailed Mantle's drinking problems, liaisons with married women, 
and reported blackmail by gamblers. Buried in the report was the Bureau's
reasons for initiating the investigations. It was reported that J. Edgar 
Hoover was interested in meeting the home run hitter personally when it 
was reported to him that Mickey Mantle was a switch-hitter.

What does Marilyn Quayle have in common with Marion Barry?
They've both been known to blow a little dope.

What are they going to call the movie about Marion Berry?
"Drugs, Lies, and Videotape."

What's black on the outside and white on the inside?
Marion Barry's nose. 

Quotes From Marion Barry - Mayor Of Washington

"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against 
diversity during this long period of increment weather."

"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very 
low crime rate."

"First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club.  
And second, what can I say?  I'm a night owl."

"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. 
Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and 
Michael Dukakis no less."

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. 
The law of gravity is racist."

"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an 
international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel.  
As mayor, I am an international symbol.  Can you deny that 
to Africa?"

"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than 
the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people 
who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure 
you there are."

"The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were 
black, were the ultimate sacrifice."

I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. 
The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 
1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a 
Republican." (he was)

"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because 
they deem it necessary?"

"People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if 
the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix 
them then? WOULD IT!?!"

"I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an 
intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man." 

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