Bob Dole Jokes

Bob Dole Jokes

Bob Dole is at a press conference. A reporter asks him whether 
 he wears boxers or briefs.
He paused a second and then said, "Depends"

What's the difference between Bob Dole and Hillary Clinton?
Dole always wants to screw the president.

What's the difference between a used car, Madonna, and Bob Dole?
One's an old Dart, one's an old tart, and the other is an old fart.

"Old Bob Dole"

Old Bob Dole was a grumbly old soul,
A brooding old soul was he.
He called for his wife and his running mate glib
He asked for the presidency.

Economy's in the toilet, everyone knows,
It's all downhill now, said he.
But I'm The Most Optimistic when it comes to the debt
We'll take 15% off for free.

Old Bob Dole was a mumbly old soul
A disjointed old soul was he.
Manpower Services, about half those jobs
It stinks, they said it, not me.

A better man for a better something like that
I trust the people, trust me!
It's about public integrity, won't mention private
It's your money. It's your money.

Old Bob Dole was a nasty old soul,
A vicious old soul was he.
He fired a handler, then blamed his staff.
He called for K. Starr, attorney.

Ken, he said, my time's running short,
The vote's in a week or three.
That corrupt hick and his grasping wife can't win again
What can you dig up for me?

Bob, said Ken, I've done my best,
I've worked on your campaign for free.
I've indicted their friends, and subpoenaed them,
But jailed only four, you see.

Old Bob Dole was a grim old soul
And facing the end, he'll be
Grimmer and grimmer, as his career winds down
In a self-destructive jubilee.

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