Al Gore Jokes

Al Gore Jokes



Al Made Some Phone Calls
to the tune I Shot The Sheriff

Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.
Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.

All around in his home town
They're trying to track him down.
They say they want to bring him in guilty
For using government property
Using government property

But I say

Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.
Al made some phone calls but said it was done on his free time.

Al claims Republicans hate him,
For what he don't know.
Every time that there's a scandal
Bill says, 'Kill it before it grows'.
Bill says, 'Kill it before it grows'.

But I say

Al made some phone calls but he swears he used a credit card.
Al made some phone calls but he swears he used a credit card.

Clinton came to him one day
Said he's the talk of the town.
All of a sudden he saw Republicans
Aiming to bring him down
He had Reno shoot them down.

But I say

Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.
Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.

Power got the better of Gore
And maybe there will be more.
Every day we're finding out more facts
But one day the real truth will come out,
Yes, one day the real truth will come out.

But I say

Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.
Al made some phone calls but he said that it wasn't a crime.




Buddhist Cash
to the tune Monster Mash

(door creak; cauldron bubble; 4 bars drum intro)

I was making some phone calls late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my V.P. from the chair began to rise
And suddenly, to my surprise

(He wants some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash
(Yes he wants cash)
 They have a great big stash
(He wants some cash)
 He'll get it in a flash
(He wants some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash

From my Oval Office in the White House East
To the Lincoln Bedroom where the Clintons feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abode
They think Al has found the mother lode

(And get some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash
(He wants some cash)
 We have a great big stash
(And they'll get cash)
 He'll get it in a flash
(He wants some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash

The scene was rocking all were digging the sound
Al Gore no longer thinks there's any bounds
And the DNC was about to arrive
With a few members of the Keating Five

Hillary was having fun (In-a-shoop-wha-ooo)
The party had just begun (In-a-shoop-wha-ooo)
The guests included Reno (In-a-shoop-wha-ooo)
And a few Buddhist nuns (Drum fill)

Out from his office Huang's voice did ring
It seems he was worried 'bout just one thing
Opened the door and shook his fist, and said
"How come nobody left me any arms to twist?"

(They now have cash)
 They now have Buddhist cash
(Yes he wants cash)
 We have a great big stash
(And they'll get cash)
 He'll get it in a flash
(He wants some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash
 Yes they have Buddhist cash

Now everything's cool, Huang's a part of the plan
And the Buddhist cash, it's the hit of the land
For you, the stupid, you can give it, too
When you get to my door, tell them Al Gore sent you

(And he wants cash)
 And he wants Buddhist Mash
(Some Buddhist cash)
 We have a great big stash
(And they'll get cash)
 He'll get it in a flash
(He wants some cash)
 He wants some Buddhist cash

(I - II - IV - V verse instr fade with Boris & Al Gore talk-over)

Al Gore: MMMM...cash goooood! cash goood!
Clinton: Down Al Gore, you impetuous young fool.
Al Gore: cash goooood, etc.




  "I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's fifth husband.  I know 
what I'm supposed to do but I don't know if I can make 
it interesting."  - U.S. Vice-President Albert Gore Jr.
 


  On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens 
on board crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, 
New Mexico, an incident they say has been covered up by the 
military.
  March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born.
Coincidence? You be the judge!



Could they clone Al Gore, or would he have to be grafted?



How can you spot Al Gore in a room full of dead people?
He's the stiff one.



What does Al Gore have in common with George Washington
He's a little stiff.



What do Elvis Presley and Al Gore have in common?
They've both been reported alive recently.



Al Gore is stiffer than Pee Wee Herman at a double feature.



Al Gore: Just a heartbeat away from the vice-presidency.



Did you hear Gore is only one orgasm away from the presidency.



  They're making a movie about Al Gore's experiences during 
the Vietnam War to enhance his campaign.
  It's called "Full Dinner Jacket."




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