Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population. To my husband, We have been through the better and worse (not always the better prevailed) We've seen the richer and poorer (the latter is most often sailed) The sickness has outrun the health (which often has caused much ado) So now I pledge to you my heart, till death do us part, And pray all our dreams will come true! To our best friends, who know the most about us, but refuse to believe it. Here's to me And here's to you And here's to love and laughter. I'll be true as long as you... But not a minute after A toast! To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage: Here's to good sense of humor --and a short memory! May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten. An old toast that my Mother used to offer at family gatherings "Here's to It, And to It again. When you get to It, and can't do It; Come see me, because I'm used to It!" Here's to that moment of sweet repose When it's cheek to cheek and nose to nose For after that moment of sublime delight It's fanny to fanny for the rest of the night. "Here's to the bride that is to be, Here's to the groom she'll wed, May all their troubles be light as bubbles Or the feathers that make up their bed! " "Here's to the bride and the bridegroom, We'll ask their success in our prayers, And through life's dark shadows and sunshine That good luck may always be theirs." The vows have been read, The cake has been cut; Let's hope that (bride's name), Don't grow a big butt! Here's to Eve, Mother of our race, Who wore a fig leaf in the right place. And to Adam, Father of us all, Who was Johnny-on-the-spot when the leaves began to fall! "Here's to you and here's to me, I hope we never disagree, But if, perchance. we ever do, Then here's to me, to hell with you." To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup- When you are wrong, admit it and when you are right, shut up! "May thy life be long and happy, Thy cares and sorrows few; And the many friends around thee Prove faithful, fond and true." "Here's to the woman that's good and sweet, Here's to the woman that's true, Here's to the woman that rules my heart, In other words, here's to you." "Here's to the prettiest, here's to the wittiest, Here's to the truest of all who are true, Here's to the neatest one, here's to the sweetest one, Here's to them, all in one - here's to you." Here's to The Bride, her kisses so sweet she makes things stand that have no feet she lost her cherry, but that's no sin for she saved the box that it came in. "Because I love you truly, Because you love me, too, My very greatest happiness Is sharing life with you." "I have known many, Liked not a few, Loved only one I toast to you" To the Grandparents Let us raise our glasses And then imbibe To the splendid couple Who founded this tribe. Here's to heat! Not the heat that ignites, & burns down shanties, But the heat that excites, & pulls down panties! Here's to hell!! May the stay there be as much fun as the way there. There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, It ill behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us! May those that love us, love us; and that don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we know them by their limping. Here's to _____, She may not be as good as she once was, but, she's as good once as she ever was. Here's to (Tony) he's true blue He's a piss pot through and through They said he'd go to heaven but he went the other way He went down down down down...... (while chugging his drink) Here's to the dove that flies above and never sheds a feather If I can't be with the one I love I'll be drinkin' this stuff forever From a bar owner who often closed early if the crowd was thin: Here's to the man that pours the ale, and one for the drunkard, stuck in jail, Here's to the gals who dance and shout, now finish yer beer and git the hell out! May the grass grow long on the road to Hell for want of use. May you always come more than you go. Here's health to your enemies' enemies! May we be alive at the same time next year (In Irish, "Go mbeirimid beo ar an am seo aris.) May you have the hindsight to know where you've been the foresight to know where you're going and the insight to know when you're going too far. Here's to you, as good as you are. Here's to me as bad as I am. As good as you are and as bad as I am, I'm as good as you are, as bad as I am. May you have warm words on a cold evening, a full moon on a dark night, and a smooth road all the way to your door. May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies, quick to make friends. But rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward. "Here is to drink, For he who drinks gets drunk, He who gets drunk sleeps, He who sleeps does not sin, He who does not sin goes to heaven, So if you want to go to heaven, DRINK!" When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven! --Old Irish toast Here's to a long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer-and another one! --Old Irish toast Best while you have it use your breath There is no drinking after death. Be one who drinks the finest of ales. Every day without fail. Even when you have drank enough, Remember that ale is wonderful stuff. Doh! A beer! I want a beer.... Ray, the guy who buys me beer. Me, the guy who Ray buys beer... Far, the way to go for beer. So, I think I'll have a beer... La, la la la la la la. Tea? No thanks I'll have a beer... And that brings us back to Doh! doh! doh! ---Homer Simpson He that buys land buys many stones. He that buys flesh buys many bones. He that buys eggs buys many shells, But he that buys good beer buys nothing else. You guys came by to have some fun. You'll come and stay all night, I fear. But I know how to make you run. I'll serve you all generic beer. For every wound, a balm. For every sorrow, cheer. For every storm, a calm. For every thirst, a beer. In heaven there is no beer... That's why we drink ours here. "May we all die in another man's bed, on the upstroke, so we get one more shot on the way down." Be good If you can't be good, be careful And if you can't be careful, name it after me Here's to the top And here's to the middle Let's hope tonight We all get a little Good bread, good meat, good god let's eat. In the name of the father, the son, the holy ghost, who eats the quickest eats the most. Here's to you, Here's To me May we never disagree If we do disagree Piss on you! here's to me A social glass and a social lass go very well together, But a social lass with a social ass I deem a damn sight better. So here's to the glass and the lass and the ass, May they meet in all kinds of weather - We'll drink of the glass and feel of the ass And make the lass feel better. Here's Champagne for our real friends and real pain for our sham friends. Reminds me of a good one that went down at a twenty first birthday acceptance speech: "I would like to thank all for coming, especially my parents, twenty one years ago". The rose may kiss the butterfly, The wine may kiss the crystal glass, A girl may kiss her man goodbye, But you, my friends, may kiss my ass. May we live as long as we want to, And want to as long as we live. He is not drunk who from the floor Can rise again and drink some more. But he is drunk who prostrate lies And cannot drink, and cannot rise. Here's to America, land of the push; Where a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But if in the bush a fair maiden should stand, Then a push in the bush is worth two in the hand. Here's to wine women and song, may none of them be flat. To our wifes and lovers, may they never meet! May you be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead. |
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