Mary Had a Little Lamb...

Mary had a little drum,
She swallowed it...its gone!
Now everywhere that Mary goes,
The band goes marching on!!!



Mary had a little lamb.
The doctor was surprised.
The lamb was born so easily
Mary didn't have to be anesthetized.



Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint jelly
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb went, in her belly
 


Mary had a little lamb
She kept it as a pet
And when the price of meat went up
She ate the little get!



Mary had a little lamb,
a little pork, a little jam,
an ice cream soda topped with fizz.
My god, how sick our Mary is!



Mary had a little lamb,
Her sister Nell had none.
Nell led Mary's lamb away
and killed it just for fun.

This left Mary quite distraught
and mad at sister Nell.
Mary shot her sister dead,
Said, "You go straight to hell!"

This tale of sibling rivalry,
this woe of which I speak,
Is soon to be on FOX
as a "Movie of the Week."



Mary had a little lamb.
'Twas awful dumb and slow
It couldn't tell the red from green
Nor which was stop or go.

It followed her to school one day...
A silly thing to do.
Was caught between the red and green,
And now it's mutton stew.



Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day
and now she's taking laxatives
To pass the time away

But as the days turned into weeks
the watch refused to pass
So if you need to know the time 
Just look up Mary's ass.



Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.

But Mary found the price of beef
was high, which didn't please her-
Tonight she's having leg of lamb,
the rest is in the freezer!



Mary had a swarm of bees,
And they, to save their lives,
Went everywhere that mary went,
'Cause Mary had the hives.



Mary had a little lamb
the doctor was suprised;
but when McDonald had a farm, 
you shoulda seen his eyes!



Mary had a little sheep
and with this sheep she went to sleep
the sheep turned out to be a ram,
so Mary had a little lamb!



Mary drank a little wine
and started feeling tipsy,
She whispered to her little lamb
"if you're a ram you'd screw me"



Mary had a little lamb,
Mary had a bear.
I've never seen her little lamb
But I've often seen her bare.



Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it - it's gone!
Now everywhere that Mary goes,
Time marches on!



Mary had a little lamb, 
a baked potato,
and a tossed salad.



Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket.
Every time the lamb got out,
The sheepdog tried to...put it back in again.



Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was red as red,
The reason for this was because
It had a pickaxe through it's head!



Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10 millon volts went up it's ass,
And turned it into nylon!



Mary had a little lamb,
and it was always gruntin
SO everywhere that Mary went
she kicked its little ****in!



Mary had a little lamb,
You've heard this tale before.
But did you know she passed her plate,
And had a little more?



Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
And now she carries it to school
between two chunks of bread.



Mary had a little lamb
she fed it castor oil
and everywhere that lamby went
it fertilized the soil.



Mary had a little lamb
Peter had a pup
Robert had a crocodile 
that ate the others up



Mary had a little skirt,
Split right up the sides,
And every time she wore that skirt,
The boys could see her thighs.

She also had another skirt,
Split right up the front.
But she never wore that one.



MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
 
Mary Had a little lamb
Its fleece was slightly grey
it didn't have a father
just some borrowed dna.

It sort of had a mother
though the ovum was on loan
it was not so much a lambkin
as a little lamby clone

And soon it had a fellow clone
and soon it had some more
they followed her to school one day
all cramming through the door

It made the children laugh and sing
the teachers found it droll
there were too many lamby clones
for Mary to control.
 
No other could control the sheep
since their programs didn't vary
the scientists resolved it all
by simply cloning Mary
 
But now they feel quite sheepish
those scientists unwary
one problem solved, but what to do
with Mary, Mary, Mary



Mary had a little sheep
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantlepiece
To see if they would...Fall Off.



Mary had a little lamb, 
her father shot the shepherd.



Mary had a little lamb
She taught a marvelous trick
It would roll upon its back
And Mary'd suck its dick.



Mary had a little lamb
She also had some mutton
She passed her plate and had some more
And soon her lamb was nothin'



Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
It also had a woolly cock
Which Mary liked to blow.



Mary had a little lamb
She taught a little stunt
When ever Mary dropped her drawers
It would lick her cunt.



Mary had a little lamb
It had a curly tail
And when she went to bed at night
She hung it on a nail


Mary had a little lamb.
She found it in the gutter.
She trained it to be her escort
and it was quite a butter.

It followed her to school one day
Where it had no right.
But everywhere that Mary went
He'd go or have a fight.

The teacher turned him out
Which made him awfully sore.
So he smashed in all the window panes
And butted down the door.

What makes that lamb so rambunctious
the eager children cried.
He was taught to be presumptious
The teacher did reply

Now, Mary, said the teacher
I can't stand all this buttin'
You bring that lamb to school again
I'll turn him into mutton!

 

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black as ink
everywhere that Mary went
that lamb was sure to stink

It followed her to school one day
and shit upon the floor
and Mary had to clean it up
and toss it out the door



Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it very well,
She fed it a stick of dynamite
And blew it all to...pieces.



Mary had a little lamb
she also had a pussy
I've often seen her little lamb
but I've never seen her pussy.



Mary had a little lamb,
She thought it was quite silly.
She threw it up into the air,
And caught it by its ...
Willy was a watch dog,
Lying on the grass.
Down came a bumble bee,
And bit him on the ...
Asssssk no questions,
Tell no lies,
I saw a policeman,
Doing up his ...
Flies are bad,
Mosquitos are worse,
And this is the end of this silly little verse.

   

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black and short
I tried to touch it with my hand
Tomorrow's my night in court

 

Mary had a little lamb,
It hops and hops and hops,
It hopped into the butcher shop,
And ended up as chops...



Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was white as snow.
Mary passed the butchers shop,
but the lamb went by too slow.



Mary had a little lamb
given hers to keep
it followed her around until
it died from lack of sleep



Mary had a little lamb
An intellectual nit
It never passed it's first exam
Because it couldn't sit



So Mary had her little lamb
With vegies and mint sauce
"Oh little lamb" she cried
"I'm as hungry as a horse."



Mary had a little lamb
She tied him to the heater
And everytime he turned around
He burned his little peeter!



Mary had a little pig,
she kept it fat and plastered;
and when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard.



Mary had a little lamb,
it vanished one sunny day.
It shuffled off this mortal coil
as chinese takeaway.



Mary had a boyfriend,
A handsome lad was he.
He gave her a lamb for christmas,
And they chopped it up for tea.



Mary had a topless dress,
So sleek, so fine, so airy.
It didn't show the dirty bits,
But oh how it showed Mary.



Mary Had A Little Lamb,
It Had A Touch Of Colic,
She Gave It Brandy Twice A Day,
And Now It's an Alcoholic!!


 
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as coal.
Every time it farted,
soot came out its hole.



Mary had a cool boombox
The loudest in the town
And everywhere that Mary went
They said to turn it down