Burma Shave Poems

Burma Shave Poems

Passing cars
When you can't see
May get you a glimpse
Of eternity
          -- Burma Shave

Said farmer Brown
Who's bald on top
Wish I could
Rotate the crop
          -- Burma Shave

Drinking drivers--
Nothing worse
They put the quart
Before the hearse
          -- Burma Shave

Paper hangers
With the hives
Now can shave with
Carving knives
          -- Burma Shave

The midnight ride
Of Paul for beer
Led to a
Warmer hemisphere
          -- Burma Shave

At school zones
Heed instructions!
Protect our little
Tax deductions
          -- Burma Shave

Within this vale
Of toil and sin
Your head grows bald
But not your chin--use
          -- Burma Shave

The boy who gets
His girl's applause
Must act not look
Like Santa Claus
          -- Burma Shave

Out with Junior's Date
Old technique
With brand new bait
          -- Burma Shave

That she could cook
He had his doubts
Until she creamed
His bristle sprouts with
          -- Burma Shave

Why does a chicken
Cross the street?
She sees a guy 
She'd like to meet
He uses
          -- Burma Shave

Prickly pears
Are picked for pickles
No peach picks
A face that prickles
          -- Burma Shave

He's the boy
The gals forgot
His line was smooth
His chin was not
          -- Burma Shave

He married Grace
With scratchy face
He only got one day
Of Grace!
          -- Burma Shave

You know your onions
Lettuce suppose
This beets 'em all
Don't turnip your nose
          -- Burma Shave

I just joined
The young man said
A nudist camp, 
Is my face red?
No! I use
          -- Burma Shave

Struck a match
To check the tank
Now they call him
Skinless Frank.
          -- Burma Shave

Listen, birds,
These signs cost money,
So roost awhile;
But don't get funny.
          -- Burma Shave

They missed the turn;
Car was whizz'n.
Fault was her'n;
Funeral his'n.
          -- Burma Shave

Does your husband misbehave,
Grunt and grumble,
Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some
          -- Burma Shave

Ben met Anna.
Made a hit.
Ben didn't shave.
Anna split.
          -- Burma Shave

Don't lose your head
to gain a minute.
You'll need your head
Your brains are in it.
          -- Burma Shave

A guy, a miss
A car, a curve
He kissed the miss
And missed the curve
          -- Burma Shave

Car in ditch
Driver in tree
The moon was full
And so was he.
          -- Burma Shave

When passing schools,
Please go slow.
Let our little
Shavers grow.
          -- Burma Shave

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