Pirate Jokes

Pirate Jokes



How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?
A Bucaneeeer!!! 



Did you hear about the new Pirate movie?
It's rated...ArghRRRRRRRR.



What do pirates have in common with serial killers?
They both have pieces of eight lying about the house.



  A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell 
their adventures on the seas.  The seaman notes that the pirate 
has a peg-leg, a hook-hand, and an eye patch.
  The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
  The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept 
overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me 
out, a shark bit my leg off."
  "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
  "Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship 
and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy 
cut my hand off."
  "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"?
  "A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate.
  "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked
incredulously.
  "Well...", said the pirate, "It was my first day with the hook."



  There once was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway 
there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and crossbones waving in the
breeze! 
  "Captain, captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate. 
  "First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea chest, 
and bring me my red shirt."
  The first mate did so. 
  Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. 
So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship was repelled without
casualties. 
  A few days later, the ship was again approached, this time by two 
pirate sloops! 
  "Captain, captain, what should we do?" 
  "First mate, bring me my red shirt!" 
  The crew, emboldened by their fearless captain, fought heroically, and 
managed to defeat both boarding parties, though they took many casualties.
That night, the survivors had a great celebration. The first mate asked 
the captain the secret of his bright red shirt. 
  "It`s simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not show, 
and the crew continues to fight without fear." 
  A week passed, and they were nearing their home port, when suddenly 
the lookout cried that ten ships of the enemy`s armada were approaching! 
  "Captain, captain, we`re in terrible trouble, what do we do?" The first
mate looked expectantly at the miracle worker. 
  Pale with fear, the captain commanded, "First mate...bring me my brown
pants!"





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