What Do You Call Someone With No Arms, No Legs Jokes

What Do You Call Someone With No Arms, No Legs Jokes



What do you call a guy with no arms or legs...

In a swimming pool                     BOB
Gets carried around in the ghetto      BLAIR
Spins on a wheel                       CLAY
Sits in a bun                          FRANK
Gets passed among friends              JAY
Gets shit on                           JONN
Gets thrown                            LANCE
Sits by the side of the road           MARK
Is filled with vacationers             VAN
Is filled with patients                WARD
Is read by lawyers                     WILL
In a British restroom?                 LOU
In a bank vault?                       RICH
In a porn flick?                       DICK
In a sound system?                     MIKE
In a sandwich?                         REUBEN
Being climbed on?                      JIM
Put through a meat grinder?            CHUCK
Being torched to death?                BERNIE
In your gas tank?                      PHIL
Under a steamroller?                   LANE
In your drums?                         TOM
Stuffed in a carryall?                 PACO
Starving to death?                     LES
Being cooked by cannibals?             STU
In a hayloft?                          BARNEY
Being stoned to death?                 ROCKY
In a chicken coop?                     HENRY
On a French farm?                      HECTOR
On your doorstep?                      MATT
Lying on a barbers floor?              HARRY
Lying in a cash register?              BUCK
Lying in a mailbox?                    MEL
In a box with his arms and legs?       KIT
Being run through a sawmill?           CHIP
Playing Volleyball?                    SPIKE
On the edge of a mountain?             CLIFF
At sunrise?                            DON
In a brothel?                          HORACE
In the river near the bank?            DOC
Up a chimney?                          SMOKEY
Who is just average?                   NORM
A gay guy with no legs?                NEIL
In a pile of leaves?		       RUSSELL
Same guy, 6 months later               PETE
On the wall                            ART
Also doesn't have a tongue?            TASTELESS ART 
Thrown off a high speed boat           SKIP
Laying under your car?                 JACK
In a valley?                           GLENN
In your mailbox?                       BILL
Woman who puts him in the fireplace    BURNADETTE
In a fitness center?	               JIM
Left out in the sun                    WILT
Covered with cement                    ROCK
Over a fence                           HOMER
In a lingerie drawer                   TEDDY
Nailed to your spice rack              HERB & BASIL
Covered in oil?                        DEREK
Stuck in a wall?                       BRAD
In a coffee cup?                       JOE
On a beach                             SANDY
Throwing up                            CHUCK
Twin boys hanging over the window      CURT 'N' ROD
Thrown against the wall                MARK
In a bottle                            POP 
Hit by lightning                       ROD
One arm and Parkinson's shaving        NICK
In the rapids                          EDDY
Just been disintered?                  DOUG
5 men swimming with a woman?           BOB, BOB, BOB, BOB, BOB, and ANN 
  (think Beach Boys.)
Hanging from a chain destroying buildings?  REX
What do you call a guy with no arms or      STUMP THE BAND
legs who can play 5 Musical instruments?



What do you call a gal with no arms or legs...

With one leg?                             EILEEN
Chinese woman with one leg?               IRENE 
After the operation?                      NOLEEN
On your barbecue?                         PATTY
In a sugar vat?                           CANDY
When she's your sister's kid?             DENISE
In a sewer?                               FLO
Eaten by a Gila Monster?                  LIZ
Being shot out of a cannon?               AMY
Being stoned for immorality?              CYN
Stuck on a wall?                          PEG
In a backpack?                            CARRIE
In a shotgun wedding?                     MARY
Being screwed by a horse?                 MARE
Caught by a trawler?                      ANNETTE
Ensnared in a lawsuit?                    SUE
Trying to figure how she got that way?    WANDA
Who likes yellowish semi precious stones? AMBER
With really big ears?                     BUNNY
With lots of freckles?                    DOTTY
In a pan of boiling water?                BLANCHE
On the bottom of the ocean?               SANDY
In the Christmas choir?                   CAROL
At 12am on Jan. 1st?                      EVE
In the summer?                            JUNE
At sunrise?                               DAWN
In a truck?                               LORI
In a china closet?                        CRYSTAL
Hanging from a ceiling?                   TIFFANY
Who's been force fed beans                GAIL
At the end of a long March                APRIL
In a fry pan                              PAM
In the flowerbed?                         ROSE, IRIS, LILY,
                                          DAISY, PETUNIA or VIOLET



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