Darwin Wannabes

Darwin Wannabes

  Gulf Breeze, Florida, three unidentified teenage males were using 
a home video camera to film an action/adventure "movie" one of the 
boys had written.  In a scene that called for one character to be 
ignited by fire, the "special effects coordinator," age 15, prepared 
the "stunt" youth by dousing lighter fluid onto his clothes.  The
Intentional fire, which proved unexpectedly difficult to extinguish, 
left the young man with third degree burns on his left arm, torso, 
and both legs.  It was all captured on film.

[UPI, Portland, OR]  Doctors at Portland's University Hospital 
said Wednesday an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting 
arrow is lucky to be alive, and will be released soon from the 
hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during 
an initiation into a men's rafting club Mountain Men Anonymous, in 
Grants Pass,Ore. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, 
but the arrow entered Roberts' right eye.  Doctors said had the 
arrow gone  millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would 
have cut and Roberts would have died. University Hospital in 
Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain, 
with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow 
managed to miss all major blood vessels. Neurosurgeon Delashaw 
also said had Robert tried to pull the arrow out on his own he 
surely would have killed himself.  Roberts admitted afterwards 
he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, 
"I feel so dumb about this."   No charges have been filed but the 
Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation 
stunt is under investigation.

[Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]  A man at a party popped a 
blasting cap into his mouth and bit down,triggering an explosion 
that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said 
Wednesday.  Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap 
as a prank during a party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne.  
"Another man had it in an aquarium, hooked to a battery, and was 
trying to explode it," Payne said.  "It wouldn't go off and this 
guy said, 'I'll show you how to set it off.  "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that,"  Payne said.

Arkansas Democrat Gazette, July 25, 1996:  Two Local Men Injured 
in Freak Truck Accident, Cotton Patch,  Ark.  Two local men were 
seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck 
a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning.
Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly 
after midnight Monday.   Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy 
Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at 
Baptist Medical Center.  The accident occurred as the two men were 
returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip.  On an overcast 
Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned. The 
two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck 
had burned  ut.  As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis 
noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from  his pistol fit perfectly 
into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting 
the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the 
two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River bridge. After 
traveling approximately twenty miles and just before crossing the 
river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole 
in the right testicle.  The vehicle swerved sharply to the right 
exiting the pavement and striking a tree.  Poole suffered only minor
cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to 
repair the other wound.  Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was 
treated and released.  "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when 
Thurston shot his nuts off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.

Times of London: A thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for
life when he tried to get a suntan. After evading security staff at
Odstock Hospital in Salisbury, Wiltshire, and helping himself to
doctor's paging devices, the thief spotted a vertical sunbed. He walked
into the unit and removed his clothes for a 45-minute tan. However, the
high-voltage UV machine at the hospital, which is renowned for its
treatment of burns victims, has a maximum dosage of 10 seconds. After
lying on the bed for almost 300 times the recommended maximum time, the
man was covered in blisters.Hours later, when the pain of the burns
became unbearable, he went to Southampton General Hospital, 20 miles
away, in Hampshire. Staff became suspicious because he was wearing a
doctor's coat. After tending his wounds they called the police.
Southampton police said: "This man broke into Odstock and decided he
fancied a quick suntan. Doctors say he is going to be scarred for life.

Bowling Green, Ohio, student Robert Ricketts, 19, had his head bloodied
when he was struck by a Conrail train. He told police he was trying to
see how close to the moving train he could place his head without
getting hit.

In Wesley Chapel, Florida, Joseph Aaron, 20, was hit in the leg with
pieces of the bullet he fired at the exhaust pipe of his car. When
repairing the car, he needed to bore a hole in the pipe. When he
couldn't find a drill, he tried to shoot a hole in it.

[FLORIDA]Ever had "One of THOSE Days"? A man was working on 
his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in 
the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle 
and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still 
holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door 
and the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. 
  The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and 
found her husband laying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the 
motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. 
The wife ran to the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because 
they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the 
several flights of long steps to the street to direct the
paramedics to her husband. 
  After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the 
hospital, the wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. 
Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife obtained some 
papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in 
the toilet. 
  The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come
home. After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door 
and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went 
into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After 
finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the 
toilet bowl while still seated. 
  The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband 
laying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was 
suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. 
The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance. 
  The same ambulance crew was dispatched and the wife met them at 
the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on the stretcher and 
began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the 
stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics 
asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them 
and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the 
stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining
steps and broke his ankle. 

   In 1972 Derek Langborne, a scientist from Upton, near Didcot, 
built a fire in his grate and lit it.  He then popped outside to 
fill the coal scuttle.
  When he returned, he observed that, in its enthusiasm to heat the 
room, one log had rolled out of the grate and set fire to the log box.
He picked it up and carried it out into the garden.  On the way out he 
brushed against a curtain covering the front door.  By the time he 
returned, the curtain and door were both in flames. 
 While telephoning Didcot Fire Brigade, he noticed that the log box, 
which he had deposited in the garden, had now set fire to his car.  
He then put on his overcoat and approached the car with a bucket of 
water.  In the process he tripped over a partly-filled petrol can.  
Seeing that Mr Langborne was in good form, his neighbour called the 
fire brigade.  By the time the fire brigade arrived, Mr Langborne 
himself was on fire with flames now leaping freely from his overcoat.

A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in
the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer
cans off each other's head.

 In 1976 a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was crossing 
 the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a taxi and
 flung over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as Finnegan lay
 stunned in the road, another car ran into him, rolling him into the 
 gutter. It too drove on. As a knot of gawkers gathered to examine
 the magnetic Irishman, a delivery van plowed through the crowd, 
 leaving in its wake three injured bystanders and an even more
 battered Bob Finnegan. When a fourth vehicle came along, the crowd 
 wisely scattered and only one person was hit, Bob Finnegan. In the 
 space of two minutes Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken
 pelvis, broken leg, and other assorted injuries. Hospital officials 
 said he would recover.

  An insurance company asked for more information regarding 
a work-related accident claim.  This was the response: 

 "I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. I am 
an amateur radio  operator and was working on the top section 
of my new 80 foot tower.  When I had completed my work, I 
discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up 
the tower,  brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare 
hardware.  Rather than carry the materials down by hand, I 
decided to lower the items using a pulley.  Securing the rope
at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the 
tools into a small barrel.  Then I went back to the ground and
untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent 
of the 300 pounds of tools.  You will note in block number 11
of  the accident report that I weigh 155 pounds.  Due to my 
surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my 
presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.  I proceeded
at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower.  In 
the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel coming down.
This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone.  Slowed
only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not  stopping until 
the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the 
pulley.  I regained my presence of mind and was able to hold
onto the rope in spite of my pain.  At the same time, however, 
the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of 
the barrel.  Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now 
weighed approximately 20 pounds.  I refer you again to my weight
in block number 11.  As you might imagine, I began a rapid 
descent down the side of the tower.  In the vicinity of the 40 
foot level, I met the barrel coming up.  This accounts for the 
two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower
body.  The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen 
my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools so only three 
vertebrae were cracked.  I am sorry to report, however, that as
I lay on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the 
empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind 
and let go of the rope..."

  A Lesson in Gun Control Do you remember the old adage "never 
point a gun at anyone (of course, unless you intend to use it 
on them).
  Michael McGuire of Boscawen, NH learned that it especially 
means "not at yourself." According to the Concord Monitor 
newspaper, Michael purchased a derringer (a rather antique type 
of handgun). He loaded it at home with a 410 guage shotgun shell, 
snapped on the safety and inserted the weapon in the wasteband 
of his pants. Well, you can guess what happened next, and I'll 
bet you can guess where that derringer was pointed when it went 
  While he was able to retain most of his penis (after most of it 
was reattached) and half of his testicles after extensive surgery, 
his sexual function has been severely impaired (which probably means 
"lost it") and he has lost his ability to father children. Of course, 
he is suing the manufacturer of the firearm for his problem, but 
fortunately for the manufacturer, New Hamshirites are less inclined 
to let someone blame others for their problems. 

  An Israeli woman's fight with a stubborn cockroach put her
husband in the hospital with burns, a broken pelvis and broken 
ribs, the Jerusalem Post newspaper reported yesterday.
  The woman, frightened by the insect when she found it in their 
living room, stepped on it, threw it in a toilet and sprayed a 
full can of insecticide on it when it refused to die.
  Her husband came home from work, went to the toilet and lit a 
cigarette.  When he threw the cigarette butt into the bowl, the 
insecticide fumes ignited, "seriously burning his sensitive 
parts," the Post wrote.
  When paramedics were called to the home in Tel Aviv, they 
laughed so hard when they learned what had happened that they 
dropped the stretcher down the stairs, breaking the unidentified 
man's pelvis and ribs.

  Taking "Amateur Night" Too Far:  In Betulia, Colombia, an annual
festival in November includes five days of amateur bullfighting.
This year, no bull was killed, but dozens of matadors were injured,
including one gored in the head and one Bobbittized. Said one
participant, "It's just one bull against [a town of] a thousand morons." 

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