Banjo Jokes

Banjo Jokes



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A Chain Saw?
 A1. A Chain Saw Has A Dynamic Range.
 A2. You Can Turn Off A Chainsaw.



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A Harley-Davidson
  Motorcycle?
You Can Tune A Harley.



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A Mandolin?
The Banjo Burns Longer.



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A South American Macaw?
One Is Loud, Obnoxious And Noisy; The Other Is A Bird.



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And A Trampoline?
You Have To Take Your Shoes Off To Jump On A Trampoline.



Why do so many fishermen own banjos?
They make great anchors!



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And An Anchor?
You Tie A Rope To An Anchor Before You Throw It Overboard.



What Is The Difference Between A Banjo And An Uzi Submachine Gun?
An Uzi Only Repeats 40 Times.



How many banjo players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that
that's not the way Earl (Scruggs) would have done it.



How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five, one to change the bulb and four to stand around and 
bitch that it's electric.



Why did the Boy Scout take up the banjo?
They make good paddles.



Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
Saves time.



Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?
Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument
on earth.



How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
By their names.



  The banjo, of course, is a musical instrument with the 
neck of a guitar, the body of a tambourine, and the sound of 
a horribly violated chicken.


 
What's the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw a banjo into a dumpster and it doesn't hit the sides.



What's the best way to play a banjo?
With a hack saw.



What's the least used sentence in the English language?
"Is that the banjo player's Porsche?"



What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise.



There's nothing I like better than the sound of a banjo, 
unless of course it's the sound of a chicken caught in a
vacuum cleaner.



  Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend 
in a crowded shopping mall:
  "Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string."



What did the banjo player get on there IQ test?
Drool




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