How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb? It depends whether the switch is on or off. How can you spot a blind man in a Nudist's Colony? It's not hard What goes CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK "Did I get it?" CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK "Did I get it?" A blind person playing with Rubik's Cube. How do blind people know when they are done "wiping?" A blind man walks into a department store with his seeing eye dog. He goes wandering up and down the aisles, until he gets to a particular aisle. He stops, grabs hold of the dog's leash very tightly, and then starts whirling the dog over his head in a circle. One of the department store clerks sees him and isn't quite sure what to do. So he goes up to the man, hunches over so as not to get hit by the whirling dog, and shouts, "Excuse me sir, can I help you?" "Nah," said the blind man. "I'm just looking around." John is waiting to cross the street when a blind man approaches with his guide-dog. The sign lights to cross and instead of helping his owner to cross, the dog raises his rear leg an pees on the man's pants. The man reaches in his pocket and gives the dog a cookie. John is amazed and tells the man, "If it were my dog I would have kicked his ass!" The man calmly answers, "I'm going to. But I need to find the head first." Bob, an experienced sky diver, was getting ready for a jump one day when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses, carrying a white can and holding a seeing-eye dog by a leash. Shocked that the blind man was also going to jump, Bob struck up a conversation, expressing his admiration for the man's courage. Then, curious, he asked, "How do you know when the ground is getting close?" "Easy," replied the blind man. "The leash goes slack." Johnny had been blind ever since birth. One day his mother comes in and tells him that tomorrow will be a very special day. She tells him to bed pray real hard when he goes to bed tonight. Johnny goes to bed praying really, really hard. The next day Johnny's mother came into his room and said, "Johnny, wake up! Rejoyce! And see that your prayers have been answered!" Johnny opens his eyes and screams, "Mommy, mommy I can't see!" He mother replies, "I know, April fools Honey!" |
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