Most language is spoken language, and most words, once they are
uttered, vanish forever into the air. But such is not the case with
language spoken during courtroom trials, for there exists an army of
courtroom reporters whose job it is to take down and preserve every
statement made during the proceedings.
Here are some of the more entertaining transcripts...
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
6. "Did he kill you?"
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"
11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"
12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
didn't you?"
A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"
16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."
18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?"
A: "Oral."
19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A:"The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy."
20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."
21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."
22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law somewhere."
23. Q: I hate to be nosy, but how old are you?
A: Forty-three. That's okay. You're nosy enough. You might as
well put that in.
24. Q: Did she appear to be in any pain? In other words, just looking
at her, did she look like she was hurting?
A: She's so ugly it looks like she hurts all the time.
25. ATTORNEY: I object to that as being a question impossible to
answer; outside this person's expertise; and I don't know what
it means.
26. DEF ATT: I object to that as being an improper question and this
man cannot answer the question.
PLTF ATT: Go sit on it.
27. Q: What happened in that accident?
A: I was going around the corner and it was wet and rainy outside,
and I kind of slid down an embankment and went into some bushes.
Q: Were the police called out to that?
A: A state trooper came out. And he gave me a careless driving
ticket because he told me he had to give me a ticket. I didn't
fight it, because it was my word against the bushes, I guess
you could say.
28. THE WITNESS: The relevant question here is --
ATTORNEY 1: Well, why don't you let her ask a question?
ATTORNEY 2: Let her ask --
THE WITNESS: I thought you did. Okay.
ATTORNEY 3: I thought I did, too.
ATTORNEY 1: Well, I don't know what it is.
ATTORNEY 3: The witness does, and I do.
THE WITNESS: What's your question?
29. Q: Dr. Smith, how are you --
A: Just fine.
Q: Pardon?
A: Just fine. I'm ready to go.
Q: Okay. Great. How are you employed?
30. A: You've got to figure I'm a pretty conservative lady. This is the
first concert I had ever been to.
Q: Of any kind?
A: Well, I take that back. I went to Jerry Lee Lewis when I was
16 years old.
Q: There was no shooting at that concert, was there?
A: No. A whole lot of shaking going on, but no shooting.
31: Q: What was your attorney's name?
A: It was John Smith, right here in Tampa.
LAWYER 1: Right out the window.
THE WITNESS: Right. So what I'm getting --
LAWYER 2: Let the record be clear that Mr. Smith is not hanging
out the window.
THE WITNESS: I don't know. Knowing John, he could be.
32: Q: Is that the only license you hold?
A: I have a marriage license.
Q: You're not a realtor or a plumber or anything else like that?
A: No. They don't require a license to have children,
which they should.
33. Q: And the serratus anterior nerve that -- or the nerves that go
to it, where do they come from?
A: The neck, the cervical region.
Q: From the cervical region?
A: Yes.
Q: And did you do any examination of his cervical - of his cervix -
to determine if there was any problem with his nerves going
through his neck?
A: He doesn't have a cervix, but, yes, I examined the biceps.
34. Q: How long have you been married to her?
A: Nineteen years.
Q: Is that your only marriage?
A: Yes, it is, that I know of.
35. Q: Do you recall discussing with John Smith that if you were in a
deposition or anything like that and you don't want to give the
right answer, all you have to say is, "I don't know. I don't recall"?
A: No. I don't remember.
36. Q: No one went with you from Foobar to assist you. Correct?
A: It seems to me -- not from Foobar. Like I said, it was a long
time ago. I mean, my memory is as short as my peter.
37. A: Obsessive-compulsive symptoms: Sometimes checks his own activities.
Suicidal and homicidal ideations: Sometimes he has suicidal
ideations regarding his car or truck every couple of days,
particularly following contact with his attorney.
38. Q: Do you recall if you had any alcohol or anything to drink prior
to the concert?
A: Yes, I did.
Q: What did you have, if you remember?
A: I think I had a Fuzzy Navel.
Q: You ought to have a doctor look at that. Just kidding.
39. Q: Do you consider him to be competent in that area?
A: I don't know. I don't have any basis to remark about the
competency of his engineering. I do know he's dead.
40. A: There are very few production places in North Dakota.
ATTORNEY: Generally speaking, there are very few places in
North Dakota.
41. Q: And where does sandblasting fit in your scale of being a
prestigious job? Do you think that's a prestigious job?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Okay. More so than working in a factory, I guess.
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Everybody's entitled to their opinion, I guess. I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
Q: Ranks above lawyers.
A: Yeah, I bet.
Q: Because everybody does that.
A: Yeah.
42. MR. SMITH: If I could just have a one-minute break sometime,
whenever you feel you're --
MR. JONES: This is a good time. (Recess from 2:41 p.m. to 3:03 p.m.)
43. Q: Do you have any reason to believe that the decision to have
Mr. Jones, Mr. Brown and yourself work on Foobar products to
the exclusion of the EMS products listed in group 3 and 4 of
Exhibit -- of the December 5 chart was made or --
MR. SMITH: Can you read that back, and maybe I can try and figure
out what I wanted to ask.
44. Q: Oh, okay. So you had a conversation with Mr. Smith about the
SeaTower at some point --
A: Yes.
Q: -- prior to his death?
45. Q: And what is it about that particular night that you recall that
you didn't eat at the Holiday Inn?
A: What is it that I remember that I didn't eat?
46. Q: What was Linda drinking, if anything?
A: She was drinking one of them -- one of them lady drinks.
I don't know what it was.
Q: She had about the same as you?
A: No. Huh-uh. She doesn't drink much. She'll just have one drink,
and she'll suck on it all night long.
47. Q: Next time you saw him?
A: August 12, 1991. Checked tonsils -- no, I'm sorry, checked
testicle. Must be mother asking. But I didn't find anything
wrong with testicle. On the contrary, I noticed there was an
ear problem.
48. Q: And Detroit Murphy -- what is that? Is that a school or --
A: It's Mercy, not Murphy.
Q: Oh, Mercy?
A: I'm sorry. Yeah, Mercy.
Q: Oh, I'm sorry. Mercy.
A: Yeah, Detroit Mercy is a college, and they do it like through the
Jesuit priests program. They do things with young boys.
49. MR. SMITH: Let me ask you, sir, to identify what I am going to have
marked as Defendant's Exhibit No. 1.
MR. JONES: Okay. (Exhibit No. 1 marked for identification.)
A: He has nice big ones.
MR. JONES: I have got the same ones, and I had them blown.
50. Q: Could you please, in your own words, describe where you're
touching on your body?
A: Right here.
Q: All right. Now, where is "right here"?
A: Right here.
Q: Is that your leg?
A: No, sir. My leg is here. That's my stomach. I got two stomachs
right here. But he was --
Q: All right. You have two stomachs.
51. Q: Why do you handle the family finances?
A: Because my mom and sister ain't that bright.
52. Q: Did you notice any differences in the plaintiff during the fishing
trip after the accident and the times you had been with him before?
A: Yes.
Q: Can you tell the jury about that?
A: After a long period of time holding his rod, you could see he had
to sit down for a period of time.
53. Q: How far apart are the rungs on the ladder?
A: They're usually about 12 inches to a foot.
54. Q: What did you do for Johnson & Sons Formal Wear?
A: I was a presser.
Q: Who was your boss there?
A: I forget his name. He's the owner.
MR. SMITH: Johnson.
A: Yeah. It's a father-and-son operation.
55. Q: You don't have any intention of dismissing Jane Smith anytime
soon, do you?
A: No. Sometimes I wish I could eat her, and other times you want
to hug her up and kiss her nose.
56. A: Mr. Jones and I had had a disagreement, the exact nature of which
I don't remember, but it was over some aspect of my work that he
wanted me to perform in a manner different than, I guess, I was
performing it. And Mr. Jones's -- excuse my language coming up
-- Mr. Jones said, "If you fuck with me, I'll kill you."
Q: When he said, "If you fuck with me, I'll kill you," how did you
interpret that?
57. Q: Has anybody else ever threatened to kill you?
A: No. Somebody put a gun to my neck once, but I don't think he
threatened to use it.
Q: Was that in an employment contact or not?
A: No. It was a social contact.
58. Q: Is there a difference between a reconditioned and rebuilt piece
of equipment in your mind, if you have one?
59. Q: So the first thing that you heard was the one that you overheard
with Mr. Jones stating that he didn't want any women in his
department. And then second time when you were in this exact
conversation would have been after the first time?
60. Q: Have you tried any type of rehabilitation or work retraining?
A: No. No, sir.
Q: Why not?
A: Because I ain't too bright.
61. Q: And, Doctor, are you a member of the profession? Correct?
A: What profession?
Q: The medical profession.
A: Oh, yes, sir.
Q: And what profession are you a member of?
A: The medical profession.
62. Q: I would like you to turn to the next page, dated June 9, 1993.
A: Yes.
Q: Do you recall this incident occurring?
A: Yes. The night before that I had eaten at Beachcomber's
Restaurant. And I had crab. And I had vomited in the --
Q: I assure you on this question a simple "Yes" or "No" will do.
63. Q: Anything else you like to do a lot?
A: Look out the window.
Q: Have you got a good view?
A: No.
Q: You just like to look out there?
A: Yeah.
Q: What can you see from your window?
A: The apartments in front of us.
Q: I guess there's usually a lot of activity out there.
A: Not no more.
Q: How come?
A: The drug dealer moved away.
64. Q: Okay. Did it become a shouting match at any time?
A: Uh-huh.
Q: It did?
A: A big one.
Q: And what was the net result?
A: I left, was the result. I left. I basically told him that I
didn't care how big his dick was.
Q: How did that comment come up?
A: It just came out.
Q: Okay. Why did you make that comment? Does he talk about, you
know, his penis a lot?
A: Yeah, he always talks about his penis. He thinks it's the
greatest thing that ever walked on earth.
65. Q: And what was the reason given to you for the fact you were let go?
A: The reason given to me was garnishing a knife and arguing with the
supervisor.
66. Q: Is the south boundary of the north half of the southeast quarter
of the northwest quarter the same line as the north boundary of
the south half of the southeast quarter of the northwest quarter?
67. Q: Do you currently have normal bowel movements?
A: No.
Q: In what way have they changed?
A: I have a lot more gas that I -- I fart a lot more; and when I do,
they're much stronger than the normal person. Isn't that true,
Jane? I know it's not funny, but it's true.
68. Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
69. Q: So you were gone until you returned?
70: Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?
71. Q: You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked
like, but can you describe it?
72. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.
73. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a
stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd
like to strike the next question".
74. Q: What is your brother-in-law's name?
A: Borofkin.
Q: What's his first name?
A: I can't remember.
Q: He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't
remember his first name?
A: No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair
and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell
them your first name!
75. Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?
A: I refuse to answer that question.
Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?
A: No.
76. Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.
77. Q: What is your name?
A: Ernestine McDowell.
Q: And what is your marital status?
A: Fair.
78. Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.
79. Q: And who is this person you are speaking of?
A: My ex-widow said it.
80. Q: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
A: Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by
Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.
81. Q: Were you aquainted with the deceased?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?
82. Q: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the
influence?
A: Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.
83. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can
identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?
A: No.
84. The Court: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.
85. Q: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and
were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on
her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning
you and she, with him to the station?
Mr. Brooks: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
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