Weight Insults

Weight Insults


Weight Insults
               

Yo Mama's so skinny when she takes a bath you have to tie a board
around her ass to keep her from slippin down the drain.

Yo Momma's so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

Yo Momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Yo Momma's so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.

Yo Mama's so thin she could hang glide on a Dorito.

Yo Momma's so skinny when she swallowed a marble people
  thought she was pregnant!

Yo Momma's so skinny when she was drowning the lifeguard 
 threw her a roll of Lifesavers and told her to put one 
 around her waist!

Yo Momma's so skinny she's the only girl I know with a 
 Cross-Your-Navel bra

Yo Momma's so skinny she got a run in her panty hose and 
 fell thru it

Yo Momma's so skinny she's a perfect ten - her dimensions
 are 10-10-10

Yo Momma's so skinny she has to hold her bra up with suspenders

Yo Momma's so skinny she's so bowlegged, she looks like half 
 a doughnut

Yo Momma's so skinny when she drinks tomato juice, she looks
 like a thermometer

Yo Momma's so skinny better bodies can be found at almost any 
 used car lot

Yo Momma's so skinny one look at her and you wonder if there
 were any other survivors

Yo Momma's so skinny when she undresses it's like seeing a golf 
 club being unwrapped

Yo Momma's so skinny that when she makes love, it's like an
 exclamation point in heat

Yo Momma's so skinny that if not for her Adam's Apple,
 she wouldn't have any shape at all 
 
Yo Momma's so skinny her day job is modeling for slipcovers

Yo Momma has calves so fat, they moo.

Yo Momma's so big she's been given her own statehood.

Yo Momma's so big, she don't have cellulite, she have celluHEAVY!

Yo Momma's so big, when she sweats people wear raincoats around her!

Yo Momma's so fat it doesn't look like she even has legs, it just 
looks like she's gliding across the floor.

Yo Momma's so fat that she'd walk in front of the television set 
and I'd miss three episodes.

Yo Momma's so fat that when she told me her weight I thought it 
was a phone number.

Yo Momma's so fat her front door has stretch marks.

Yo Momma's so fat when they go to Japan, and the sumo 
 wrestlers cower in fear 

Yo Momma's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Yo Mamma's so fat, she wore a X t-shirt, and a helicopter 
 landed on her

Yo Mama's so fat after we had sex, I rolled over twice,
 and I was still on her!

Yo Mama's so fat that when you have sex with her you have 
 to slap her thigh and ride the wave in.

Yo Mama's so fat that she uses the equator as a belt.

Yo Mama's so fat her blood type is Ragu.

Yo Mamma's so fat her car has stretch marks.

Yo Mama's so fat, she has her own zip code.

Yo Mama's so fat she has a refridgerator strapped to her 
 waist and it looks like a pager.

Yo Momma's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought 
 she was backing up.

Yo Momma's so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

Yo Momma's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo Momma's so fat we're in her right now.

Yo Momma's so fat people jog around her for exercise.

Yo Momma's so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo Momma's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors.

Yo Momma's so fat she was floating in the ocean and 
 spain claimed her for the new world

Yo Momma's so fat she lay on the beach and people run around 
 yelling Free Willy

Yo Momma's so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo Momma's so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo Momma's so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu 
 and says "okay!"

Yo Momma's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"

Yo Momma's so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo Momma's so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo Momma's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo Momma's so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo Momma's so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo Momma's so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo Momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo Momma's so fat when she sits around the house, she 
 SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo Momma's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read 
 "one at a time, please"

Yo Momma's so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo Momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo Momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo Momma's so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo Momma's so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo Momma's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo Momma's so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo Momma's so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo Momma's so fat when she plays hopscotch, she 
 goes New York, L.A.,  Chicago...

Yo Momma's so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo Momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo Momma's so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo Momma's so fat you have to roll her ass in flour 
 and look for the wet spot to fuck her!

Yo Momma's so fat I had to take a train and two buses 
 just to get on the bitches good side!

Yo Momma's so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo Momma's so fat when she goes to an amusement park, 
 people try to ride HER!

Yo Momma's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger
 shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo Momma's so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo Momma's so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo Momma's so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo Momma's so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo Momma's so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo Momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo Momma's so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo Momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo Momma's so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo Momma's so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo Momma's so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo Momma's so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Yo Momma's so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo Momma's so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo Momma's so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo Momma's so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo Momma's so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, 
 it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo Momma's so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo Momma's so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo Momma's so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo Momma's so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo Momma's so fat when she fell over she rocked 
 herself asleep trying to get up again.
            
Yo Momma's so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo Momma's so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo Momma's so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo Momma's so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo Momma's so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo Momma's so fat she left the house in high 
 heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo Momma's so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie
 on the other side just to get her through.

Yo Momma's so fat when the bitch goes to an all 
 you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo Momma's so fat that she can't tie her own shoes.

Yo Momma's so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo Momma's so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo Momma's so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo Momma's so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time 
 they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo Momma's so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo Momma's so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo Momma's so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo Momma's so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders 
 and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo Momma's so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, 
 "Who threw that rock?"

Yo Momma's so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane
 it gives her the green arrow!

Yo Momma's so fat that when whe was born, she gave 
 the hospital stretch marks.

Yo Momma's so fat the National Weather Agency has 
 to assign names to her farts!!!

Yo Momma's so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't 
 have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo Mamma's so fat she eats out of a satellite dish.

I kept trying to leave her but I couldn't escape her gravitational pull.

She's so fat she could kick start a 747.

She's so fat that the last time we went to the Zoo
 the elephant's threw peanuts at her.

Her Dresses are made by Barnum & Bailey.

Yo Mama's so fat that when she goes out there's a solar eclipse.

Yo Mama's so fat that when she goes to the beach she effects the tide.

Neil Armstrong landed on you Momma in 1969.
 
Yo Momma's so fat that when she goes skydiving she turns day into night!

Yo Mama's so fat that when the doctor diagnosed her with 
flesh-eating bacteria he gave her six years to live.

Yo Mama's so fat she has smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo Momma's so fat she gets stuck in her dreams!

Yo momma's so fat she went to the beach and sold shade!

Yo momma's so fat she uses the swimming pool as a toilet!

Yo momma's so fat she uses a basketball as a hackey sack!

Yo momma's so fat that she keeps her extra change in one of her folds!

Yo Mama's so fat, she was kidnapped by a cannibal tribe...
 They all died of cholesterol.

Yo' Mama's so fat that a picture of her would weigh 15 pounds.

You use not a bra but a hammock.

You use a bicycle built for two, but you are the only one.

Snap, Crackle and Pop are not breakfast foods, they are 
 the furniture under your posterior.

People tend to refer to you, alone, as the odd couple.

A police officer stops you after dusk and suggests you 
 ought to wear headlights.

At the time of your marriage, it took three relatives to give you away.

You are told that the only way you can be on the street 
 is with a parade permit.

You are the entire front row of your graduation picture.

You go to a Weight Lose Clinic and the owner beats 
 you to the front door with a sign that says "Closed."

Your mom's so fat she could hide a bowling ball in her cleavage.

Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks across the room, the radio skips!

Yo mama so fat, when yo daddy pulls her panties down 
 to the floor, they still got pussy in them!

If she were two inches taller, she'd be round.

She's never seen her shoes.

If she's in the water, boats try to dock in her.

Kids throw snowballs at her, they go into orbit

Yo Mama's so fat she bumps into people even while she's sitting down.

Yo Mama's so fat that after sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Yo Mama's so fat a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo Mama's so fat if she weighed 5 pounds more she'd qualify for
 Group Insurance.

Yo Mama's so fat she gets her clothes in three sizes
 EXTRA LARGE, JUMBO and  OH-MY-GOD-IT'S-COMING-TOWARDS-US!

Yo Mama's so fat they had to let out the shower curtain

Yo Mama's so fat that after she gets done turning around 
 they throw her a welcome back party.

Yo Mama's so fat that they can't take her picture, they
 have to take her poster.

Yo Mama's lips are so fat they look like my ass sideways.

Yo Momma's so fat the back of her neck looks like an 
 eight-pack of franks

Yo Momma's so fat a car swerved out of the way to avoid hitting 
 her and ran out of gas.

That was not an eclipse, that was your fat mother changing her panties.
 
Yo mama is so fat, she's required to stop at the truck scales if she
 crosses state lines.

Yo mama is so fat, she's been banned from visiting Hawaii cause their
 afraid she'll cause it to sink.

Your mama's so fat, she walked in front of the TV and we missed
 2 episodes of Mash.

yo momma's so fat, she needs a boomerang just to put on her belt
 
your mom is so fat she makes a perfect burglar, her ass wipes out
 her footprints.

The integral of your mom is fat plus a constant, where the constant
 is equal to more fat.

Your mom is so fat, when she walks in the room everyone yells,
 "Hey Kool-Aid!"

Your Mom's so fat the only time she saw 90210 is when she stepped on
 the scale.

Your Mom's so fat, when she rolls over in bed she burns her ass on
 the light bulb.

Your Mom is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four
 sides of the milk carton.

Your mom is so fat she sat in the back of a bus and made it do wheelies.

Your Mom is so fat, she gets in the bathtub and the neighbors'
 toilets overflow.

Your Mom's so fat she has to use a parachute for a dress.

Your Mom's so fat, if she wears a green and white sweater, she looks
 like a football field.

Your Mom's so fat, when I get on top of her I burn my ass on the
 light bulb.

Your Mom's so fat, every time she turns, its her birthday.

Your Mom's so fat, it took 3 days to pierce her ears

Your Mom's so fat, she can take a shower without getting her feet wet

Your Mom's so fat, she orders all her new cars with washtub seats

Your Mom's so fat, last week she sank her rowing machine

Your Mom's so fat, not only does she have to take off weight,
 but rearrange it too

Yo momma's so fat, I emailed her an ASCII hamburger, she printed it
 off and ate it.

Yo momma's so fat, she put the "One size fits all" people out of
 business for false advertising.

Yo momma's so fat, she leaned on the Leaning Tower of Piza and
 straightened it out.

Yo momma's so fat, you can find more change in her rolls than in
your old sofa.

Yo mama's so fat, She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo mama's so fat, Her ass has its own congressman.

Yo mama's so fat, Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama's so fat, Her driver's license says,
 "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of 
 her butt cheeks.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:
 "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a
 menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his
 word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.


How can you start a fire without matches?
Hold a piece of tissue behind a fat girl wearing corduroys.




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