Ugly Insults

Ugly Insults

   


Yo Momma's so ugly, peeping toms break into her house 
and closes the blinds.

Yo' Mama's is so ugly, yo' daddy fucked her with somebody 
else's dick.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she'd scare lightning up a tree.

Yo' Momma's so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest,
they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo Momma's so ugly, when your Dad took her to a wife swapping 
party he had to throw in some cash!

Yo' Momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got
arrested for mooning.

Yo' Momma's so ugly when she was born, her mother said 
"What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo' Momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to
make gorilla cookies.

Yo' Momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist"
in her shower.

Yo' Momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when 
she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo' Momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord 
around her ankle, they put it around her neck.

Yo' Momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up
for Halloween.

Yo' Momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they 
turn off the surveillence cameras.

Yo' Momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast 
feed her.

Yo' Momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around 
her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo' Momma so ugly when she walks down the street in 
September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo' Momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo' Momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo Momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo' Momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo' Momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician
it took 12 hours...for a quote!

Yo' Momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo' Momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo' Momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo' Momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo' Momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo' Momma's so ugly The NHL banned her for life.

Yo' Momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo' Momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on 
the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo' Momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo' Momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo' Momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work
with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo' Momma's so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave 
his ass and make him walk backwards.

She was so ugly, she used secret, and it told on her!

She was so ugly, all the men stood in line to kiss the groom instead!

She was so ugly, that when I took her to the top of 
the Empire State Building she got attacked by planes!

She was so ugly, the waiter gave her a doggie bag 
before she eats!

Yo' Momma's so ugly she has to sneak up on a cup of water!

Yo' Momma's so ugly that bigfoot took a picture of her!

Yo' Momma's so ugly that they kicked her out of Jurrasic Park! 

Yo' Mama's so ugly, her mother had to feed her with a sling shot.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she buys two tickets to the zoo...
One to get in, one to get out.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!.

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when she went to a haunted house she
came out with a job application.

Yo' Mama's so ugly she scares people even when the lights are out.

Yo' Mama's so ugly it looks like her neck threw up.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she'd make a train take a dirt road.

Yo' Mama's so ugly her face is closed on weekends.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, when she was born her Mother saw the after
birth and said "Twins."

Yo' Mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born when her
face stopped the clock.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock.

Yo' Mama's so ugly when she cries the tears run up her face.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, the Psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.

They say that beauty is only a light switch away, with your
Mom they used a black light.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she has three teeth, one in her mouth and
two in her pocket.

Yo' Mama's so ugly she's like Taco Bell. When people see her 
they think Run For The Border.

Yo' Mama's uglier than a dog's butt.

Yo' Mama's uglier than your mother-in-law

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirroe the reflection
says 'Damn!'

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when robbers broke in she yelled rape,
They yelled 'NO!'

Yo' Mama's so ugly that Baywatch let her drown.

Yo' Mama's so ugly she was shown on Wild Kingdom.

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when she was born, for six months her folks 
diapered the wrong end.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, Frankenstein came to a Halloween party as her!

Yo' Mama's so ugly, in the church they put her behind the curtain even
when she wasn't confessing!

Yo' Mama's so ugly, her Polaroids won't come out of the camera.

Yo' Mama's so ugly, her vibrator told her, it has a headache!

Yo' Mama's so ugly the stork who delivered her flew backwards so it 
wouldn't have to look at her face and finally had her sent by mail.

Yo' Mama's so ugly they took her to a plastic surgeon. 
He wanted to add a tail!

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when she was born, they didn't know whether
to buy a crib or cage!

Yo' Mama's so ugly that when she went camping, 
the bears built a fire to keep her away!

Yo' Mama's so ugly, she has the kind of face you want to tune it in 
a little clearer.

Yo' Mama's so ugly they sent her picture to Ripley's "Believe or Not."
Ripley sent it back saying 'I don't believe!'

Yo' Mama's so ugly that in those ads showing 'before' and 'after', 
she was 'during'!




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