|
|
Our town is so small... the clinic was called Joe's Hospital and Grill long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy the town Lady of the Evening stands under a flashlight in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened instead of hoses, the Fire Department uses water pistols you had to make a reservation to use the parking meter during snowstorms, salt was spread using a salad shooter the local Motel 6 sleeps six during a boxing match, both men have to sit in the same corner the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages the Mayor was also the Sheriff, Town Council & street sweeper we had no porn movie house; once a week someone left the shades up the municipal water system's pump was supplied by Water Pik before you visited, you could look out a window & see who was home there was no town idiot -- everybody had to take turns people read the weekly paper to see if the editor got the news correct. biggest industry is jury duty. largest industry is a stocky Avon lady. it is only there four days a week. it only has one yellow page. it couldn't afford a civic club. any person could tear the phone book in half. has only one massage parlor--self service. it only has one newspaper and people passed it around. there is no hospital, just a first-aid kit. the sidewalk is a brick! the street light is a candle! the fire department is a Great Dane! the school only has two grades! the "Welcome" & "Come Again" signs were on the same post! they share a horse with the next town! (one-horse town) the town prostitute is still a virgin! that the fire department's number is unlisted. the main drag is a transvestite. the Local PD only has one gun, and 5 bullets for all 3 officers to share. that up at the high school they use the same car for teaching Drivers Ed. & Sex Ed. when I went to the library, the book was out. that when I plugged in my electric razor in I blew out all the milk machines in town. that the The big downtown renovation project this summer is installing a new screen door at the liquor store. you don't use turn signals because everybody knows where you're going. you're born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local merchants because you're the first baby of the year. if you speak to each dog you pass, by name...and he wags his tail at you you dial the wrong number, and talk for 15 minutes anyway. the biggest business in town sells farm machinery. you write a check on the wrong bank and it covers you anyway. you missed church on Sunday and the preacher sends you a get-well card! |
|