Miscellaneous Insults

   

 
What sexual position does a woman have to be in to have a ugly baby?
Ask your mother! 

Yo Momma's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

How can you tell if a woman is really flat?
The biggest bump on her is a hemorrhoid.

Yo Momma's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where 
 yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo Momma's has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Yo Momma has one hand and a Clapper.

Yo Momma has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.

Yo Momma has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Yo Momma has a short leg and walks in circles.

Yo Momma has a short arm and can't applaude.

Yo Momma's got so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Yo Momma's got two wooden legs and one is backward.

Yo Momma's got three fingers and a banjo.

Yo Momma's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Yo Momma's got a wooden leg with branches.

Yo Momma's twice the man you are.

Yo Momma's cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Yo Momma's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to 
  scratch her ear.

Yo Momma's middle name is Rambo.

Yo Momma's in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna push 
  me 'round no more."

Yo Momma's feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

Yo Momma has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what 
 you're saying.

Yo Momma's so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo Momma's so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo Momma's so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo Momma's so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats 
  Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Yo Momma's so black that she dresses to a funeral naked!

Your mom's so black that when the cops shot at her last night, the 
bullets had to come back and ask for directions.

Your Mom's so black, she could get a job as a hole

Your Mom's so black she sweats coffee.

Your Mom's so black she got a part-time job as a shadow.

Yo Momma's feet are so big, her sneakers need license plates!

Yo Momma's so mean, she gives Satan nightmares.




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