Cheap Jokes

Cheap Jokes


Did you hear about the Cheapskate who punished his son 
for buying an all-day sucker at 4 p.m?

"Some people may be compared to new shoes: the cheaper 
they are the louder they squeak."

  The MacTavish brothers decided that one of their number 
would go to America and make his fortune, coming back to 
share with the rest of them.  The youngest, Ian, was chosen 
for this task.
  Off he went, and he worked hard in America, and earned 
himself the usual fortune over a few years, and wired his 
brothers that he'd be returning with it.
  When he came back to the homeland (or hameland, as they'd 
call it) he got off the boat, and looked around for his 
brothers, but could not see anyone who looked familiar.  
Finally, a group of bearded strangers approached.
  "Ho, Ian, are ye not knowing yer own brothers?" asked the 
first one.  Then Ian realized his brothers had grown beards.
  "Fer heaven's sake, laddies, what would ye be growin' 
them beards for, now?"  he asked.
  "We had to, lad, ye took the razor wi' ye!"

  Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?  He 
tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through its 
heart because steaks were too expensive.

Q. How was copper wire invented?
A. Two cheapskates were fighting over a penny.

Q. How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A. A cheapskate dropped a quarter down a gopher hole.

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