Gender Seminar Jokes

Gender Seminar Jokes


Seminars For Men
         
Seminars For Women


Seminars For Men

A new degree is being offered at Life University that many of you 
should be interested in: Becoming A Real Man. That's right, in just 
a few years, you, too, can be a real man -  as well as earn a degree.
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR 
(18 Credits Plus 2 Electives)

Fall Schedule:
EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook
HOU 100 You, Too, Can Do Housework
LAU 100 Introduction to Laundry: 
        Where Clothes Go Preferably Before They Start to Smell
COM 100 Techniques of Calling Home
SEX 100 You CAN Fall Asleep without It
WOM 100 Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important


Winter Schedule:
EAT 101 Utilization of Eating Utensils
HOU 101 Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
COM 101 The Art of Conversation: There's more to life than 
        Cars and Sports Appear to Be Listening
BAT 100 Bathroom Etiquette: Returning the Toilet Seat to it's
        Normal Lowered Position
SEX 101 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
WOM 101 Get a Life: Learning to Like Her Friends


Spring Schedule:
HOU 102 Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge
EAT 102 How to Use a Microwave
HOU 103 Vacuuming Essentials
BAT 101 Locating and installing a New Roll of Toilet Paper
SEX 102 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Foreplay
SPO 100 The Weekend And Sports Are Not Synonymous


SECOND YEAR
(18 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
LAU 200 The Washer and Dryer
EAT 200 Keep Your Life, Learn to Cleanup After Cooking
HOU 200 Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
BAT 200 Learning To Aim STraight - It Can Be Done
SEX 200 How to Stay Awake After Sex
COM 201 Communication Skills I: Alternate Words to Replace a Grunt

Winter Schedule:
EAT 201 Cooking with Tofu
COM 200 Telephone Skills: You, Too Can Place the Order
HOU 201 Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: 
        You CAN Tell the Difference!
COM 202 Communication Skills II: How to Speak in Whole Sentences
WOM 200 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
BAT 201 Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But 
        In The Toliet


Spring Schedule:
CLO 200 Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
EAT 202 How to Serve Breakfast In Bed
COM 203 Communication Skills III: Raising Your Head To Look at Eye Level
ENT 200 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
SEX 201 Introductory Foreplay:  The Drive Home Does Not Count
WOM 201 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas


THIRD YEAR
(18 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
LAU 300 Colorblind vs. Lazy
DRI 300 The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty
SEX 300 Sex: How to Keep Her Interested After Marriage 
        (a.k.a. Foreplay is not a 4-letter word)
BAT 300 Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink
HOU 300 If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
WOM 300 How To Go Shopping With A Woman Without Getting Lost


Winter Schedule:
CLO 300 Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old 
        Levis to Goodwill
BAT 301 Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
HOU 301 If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator 
         Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
COM 300 Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Half-time
SPO 300 "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Women Laugh
WOM 301 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise, Especially When Naked


Spring Schedule:
WOM 302 What's Hers is Hers
SEX 301 Romanticism - Other Ideas Besides Sex
COM 301 Give Me A Break - Why We Know Your Excuses Are Bullshit
HOU 302 No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations
    of Your Kitchenware
ENT 300 Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That
        Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category
WOM 303 Understanding Relationships: Why It's Important 
        for You to See Her Family


FOURTH YEAR
(18 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
WOM 400 What Was Yours Is Hers
LAU 400 Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly: Don't Wash My Silk)
CLO 400 Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
COM 400 Just Say "Yes, Dear" 
ENT 400 Party Etiquette I: Designated Driver 
        - The Definition and How to Be One
HOU 400 Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet


Winter Schedule:
DRI 400 Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
SPO 400 Football: Breaking the Addiction (a.k.a. 'Too much of a good thing' 
        is really possible.)
WOM 401 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
HOU 401 Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
ENT 401 Party Etiquette II: Extraneous Gaseous Noises and Why Small
        Minds Find Them Funny


Spring Schedule:
DRI 401 Driving Faster is Not Always Better
COM 401 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
SPO 401 No They Don't Sell Sports Equipment in the Grocery Stores
WOM 402 Mothers-in-Law
ENT 402 Party Etiquette III: How to Leave in the Same Shape as You Arrived
BAT 400 Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About 
        to run out of Toilet Paper!


ELECTIVES
Course Electives:
MEN 500 Garbage - Getting it to the Curb
MEN 501 Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
MEN 502 How to Avoid Heart Disease
MEN 503 Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What 
        "Fourth Down and Ten" Means
MEN 504 10,000 Reasons to Give Flowers
MEN 505 Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
MEN 506 jewelry, Flowers, Flattery and Other Forms of Foreplay
MEN 507 Combating Stupidity
MEN 508 How NOT to Act Like an Asshole When You're Wrong
MEN 509 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 510 You, the Weaker Sex
MEN 511 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children Male Bonding
        - Leaving Your Friends at Their Homes
MEN 512 Omitting fuck from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 513 Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 514 Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 515 Combating Narrow Thinking, Stubbornness and Stupidity
MEN 516 "I Don't Know": Be the First Man to Say It!
MEN 517 Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have
MEN 518 Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
MEN 519 Dancing: Facing Your Fears
MEN 520 Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
MEN 521 Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
MEN 522 Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes 
        that the Electronics Came In
MEN 523 How to fill an ice tray
MEN 524 Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
MEN 525 Helpful Posture Hints for Couch Potatoes
MEN 526 Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works.




Seminars For Women

 A new degree is being offered at Life University that many of you 
should be interested in: Becoming A Real Woman. That's right, in just 
a few years, you, too, can be a real woman -  as well as earn a degree.
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR 
(15 Credits Plus 2 Electives)

Fall Schedule:
REL100 Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man-child 
SPO100 The Attainable Goal - Catching a Ball Before It Stops Moving
DRI101 Driving II:  The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights
SEX100 Sex: It's For Married Couples Too.
COM100 Communication Skills: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.

Winter Schedule:
SPO101 Football/Golf/Basketball: Not a Game, A Sacrament
DRI100 Driving I:  Getting Past Automatic Transmission
SEX101 You, the Whining Sex
FIN100 the Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
COM101 Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.

Spring Schedule:
FIN101 How to Earn Your Own Money
COM102 Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.
FAS100 Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need 
       New Shoes Everyday.
BAT100 Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
WOM101 "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?": Learning Why Men Lie.

SECOND YEAR
(15 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
FAS200 Parties: Going Without New Outfits.
COM200 Telephone Translations (formerly entitled "Me Too Equals I Love You")
FIN200 What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy
DRI200 Driving II:  The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights
SEX200 The Penis:  His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too

Winter Schedule:
COM201 Why it is Unacceptable to Talk About Placentas During Breakfast
DRI201 Driving III:  Approximating a Constant Speed
BAT200 Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.
SEX201 Reasons to Give Blowjob
WOM103 Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House

Spring Schedule:
COM202 Telephone Translations (was:  "Me too" equals "I Love You")
DRI202 /Driving IV:  Makeup and Driving--It's As Simple As Oil and Water
BAT201 Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Gravity is on Your Side
SEX202 How to Stay Awake During Sex
WOM104 How to Act Younger Than Your Mother


THIRD YEAR
(15 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
FAS300 The Seven-Outfit Week
COM300 If You Don't Want an Excuse, Don't Demand an Explanation
SEX300 Putting On Something Sexy - Why it Won't Ruin Your Brain
DRI300 Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.
SPO300 The Super Bowl:  Not a Game--A Sacrament

Winter Schedule:
COM301 Combating the Impulse to Nag
LAU300 Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry
FIN300 Payday and Shopping Are Not Synonymous
SEX301 You Can Use a Bed for More Than Just Sleep
BAT300 Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side

Spring Schedule:
SEX302 Sex, It's OK to Do It Outside of the Bedroom
DRI301 Yes, You Can Fill Up At A Self Serve Station
PMS300 It's YOUR Problem, Not Ours
SPO301 How to Go Fishing With Your Mate and Not Catch Pneumonia
REL300 To Honour and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"

FOURTH YEAR
(15 Credits Plus 2 Electives Not Previously taken)

Fall Schedule:
REL400 Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not the Women 
       Who Complain About You the Most
SPO400 You Too Can Carry a Backpack
DRI400 How to Close the Garage Door
SEX400 Yes, You Can Buy Condoms (was: We Learned to Deal 
       with the Embarrassment)
BAT400 Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor.

Winter Schedule:
COM400 Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.
SEX400 Honest, My Eyes Are Closed Because of the Passion I Feel
FAS400 Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup
LAU400 Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together. 
PMS400 Learning to Sleep Over at Mother's

Spring Schedule:
DRI401 Living Without Power Windows - How to Turn a Crank 
BAT401 Apologizing for Farting When You're On the Toilet is NOT Necessary
FIN400 Balancing a Checkbook - Even You Can Get it Right
COM401 "Are You Ready to Leave?" -- Definition of the Word "Yes"
WOM102 Appropriate Rhetorical Questions (Formerly "Honey, do I Look Fat?") 


Course Electives:
WOM501 Cooking: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.
WOM502 His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out
WOM503 Power Tools: Why They're OURS
WOM504 Basic Home Repair: The Difference between a Screwdriver and
       a Kitchen Knife
WOM505 Get a Life - Learn to Kill Spiders Yourself
WOM506 Shopping - Doing it in Less Than 16 Hours
WOM507 Elementary Map Reading 
WOM508 Crying and Law Enforcement
WOM509 How Not to Sob Like a Sponge When Your Husband is Right
WOM510 How to Fill a Beer Mug
WOM511 Advanced Math Seminar -- Program your VCR
WOM512 We do not want Stationery for Christmas - PUT ON SLEAZY UNDERTHINGS
WOM513 Understanding the Female Cause of Male Drunkenness
WOM514 Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children so You Could Have 
       Someone Other Than Him to Boss round
WOM515 Giftgiving Fundamentals (was:  Fabric Bad, Electronics Good)
WOM516 If You Want to Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
WOM517 We Forget Birthdays, You Forget Sports Stats: LET'S LET IT DROP
WOM518 MYOB: Proper Response to Other Couple's Public Arguments
WOM519 Gaining Five Pounds vs.The End of the World: A Study in Contrast
WOM520 Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You...




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