The GirlFriend 1.0 FAQ List 1.0 What is GirlFriend? 1.1 What versions of GirlFriend are available? 1.2 Where's the documentation for GirlFriend? 1.3 What patches are available for GirlFriend? 1.4 How much does GirlFriend cost? 1.5 What do I need to run GirlFriend? 1.6 Common GirlFriend problems and solutions. 1.7 What can we expect in future versions of GirlFriend? 1.8 Comments from users of GirlFriend. 1.9 Where can I get a copy of GirlFriend? 2.0 What is Wife 1.0? 2.1 What versions of Wife are available? 2.2 Why isn't my GirlFriend compatable with Wife? 2.3 Why should I buy Wife? 2.4 What is Prenup? 3.0 What is Mistress? 4.0 What is Hubbie? 5.0 Future releases from GODco. 6.0 Bugs 1.0 What is GirlFriend 1.0? GirlFriend 1.0 and its sister programs are the very latest in conventional software from GODco. You must supply the hardware. All our programs are completely Plug-N-Play, although system requirements may vary. Be sure to read the requirements for each copy of GirlFriend very carefully, as not all States allow refunds after you have registered. Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee that our programs are virus-free, or that you will be the first person to open the box. Accept no substitutions! Pirate copies of GirlFriend are available on the market, most notably the French "Menage 3.0", but that GroupWare program is only in beta testing! Come with the classic GirlFriend for all your daily needs! 1.1 What versions of GirlFriend are available? A short version of the history of the various GirlFriends: Version 0.91B - doesn't suck Version 1.0 - sucks Version 1.01 - the 'clean' version of GirlFriend, the "sex" function is disabled until you register, and it goes into worship mode on Sundays. Version 1.07 - a little better than 1.0, but still very difficult to understand. You think you figured something out only to have it crash on you. You just gotta reload and try again. Version 1.10 - the latest version, it looks better than your present version, until you actually get it. Three months after you get GirlFriend 1.0, GODco will release version 1.11 Version 1.69 - this is a PIRATE version of girlfriend that GODco does not support! This version causes all sorts of hard drive interface problems, and also requires several new device drivers to run properly. Version 2.0 - GirlFriendPlus! (also known as Fiancee 1.0) This version of the program trades guaranteed features and system stability in return for long-term memory commitment. 1.2 Where's the documentation for GirlFriend? Sorry, but GODco doesn't produce documentation for any of its products. However, you can find several strategy guides at your local bookstore. 1.3 What patches are available for GirlFriend? We here at GODco are devoted to constantly keeping up with the cutting edge of technology. As a result, we offer several patches for our GirlFriend products, from the ever-popular Blonde patch, to the Redhead patch (discontinued due to safety concerns). Air pumps are not included with any of our patches, however. The favourite patch is not for sale, however; the Kinky patch proved to dramatically increase your chance of catching a virus. On the flip side, Kinky allows multi-user use. In addition to these, we also offer the hexedit "headache" patch for users of our "BoyFriend" or "Hubby" programs. Another patch used fairly commonly is "but the children will hear". 1.4 How much does GirlFriend cost? Price varies at random, but in general, the more you pay, the more your copy is worth. While we do offer a Shareware version of GirlFriend, we at GODco highly reccomend buying the registered version of GirlFriend (Wife 1.0) from us, as our free versions are all NagWare that nags you every 30 days to buy it if you like the software. A caution to users who use cracked Shareware copies of GirlFriend--viruses are common, and we don't support such copies in the event of a Fatal Error 101 (Contraception Error). 1.5 What do I need to run GirlFriend? About the only thing you really need is an operating system, some hardware, and the money to buy GirlFriend. However, the enhanced graphics versions require extra RAM and costs more. 1.6 Common GirlFriend problems and solutions. Problem: My version of GirlFriend has an audio problem. I can't seem to turn the volume down. Even after the game is over, the damn thing keeps yakking. Solution: While we don't have a patch available, our hardware experts recommend you insert the plug a little deeper, or stick it into the rear connector. If that fails, try logging onto our BBS so we can screw around with your copy. If all else fails, you may have to decide whether your joystick is more important than your speakers, as the two are interconnected in some versions of GirlFriend. Problem: There's a known modem problem when Girlfriends talks to Wife. My copy of Wife crashed the first time it talked to Girlfriend, and this has meant I've had to spend a lot of time fixing Wife with the lies-patch. Solution: Use a null-modem link unplugged at one end. Problem: Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0. Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. When he made some facetious remarks about how the MotherInLaw program is so dumb, he got into some access problem: pretty strange, he says the error msg was something like "socket exists, but permission denied." He's confused...he knows he gets "Access denied. Memory leak found, try again later!" three times a month, but "Permission Denied" that's new... Solution: Sorry, but there is no solution short of uninstalling your copy of Wife. Unfortunately, the Plug-Ins are part of the regular program and we cannot guarantee customer satisfaction. Read the fine print in your contract! Problem: I tried running girlfriend 2.0 with girlfriend 1.0 still installed, they tried using the same i/o port and conflicted. Then I tried to unistall girlfriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to unstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Solution: For multiple copies of GirlFriend, you'll have to try our new program Harem 1.0. Problem: Another thing that sucks in all versions of girlfriend that I've used is that it is totally "object orientated" and only supported hardware with gold plated contacts. Solution: Unfortunately for you, we have no solution to your problem, as most users prefer their versions of GirlFriend to suck. Problem: The only problems I have encountered with Girlfriend v.1.0 is that after a few months on your system it starts to eat up your resources, and begins acting like some sort of OPERATING SYSTEM. Solution: GODco has subcontracted GirlFriend out to Microsoft, to be cumlinated in the release of GIRL99 due out in February 14th, which will replace all earlier versions of girlfriend. Microsoft has promised to get rid of this and all other bugs in the system. Problem: I'm currently running the latest version of girlfriend and having some problems. I've been running the same version of Drinking Buddies 1.0 all along as my primary application, and all the Girlfriend releases have always conflicted with it. I hear the Drinking Buddies won't crash if you run Girlfriend in background mode with the sound switched off. But I'm embarrassed to say that I can't find the switch to turn it off. I just run them separately, and it works OK. Girlfriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort my Golf program with some sort of timing incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with Girlfriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance with Girlfriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, Solution: You probably didn't have enough cache to run Girlfriend 2.0 and that eventually it would require a Token Ring to run properly. Unfortunately as soon as you purge cache, it will uninstall itself. 1.7 What can we expect in future versions of GirlFriend? - A "don't remind me" button. - A minimize feature for Windows users. - A shutdown feature. - An install shield to completely uninstall GirlFriend if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) - A "noecho" feature. 1.8 Comments from users of GirlFriend. "I have been very happy with Wife ver 1.0 so never upgraded to GirlFriend ver 2. Besides, I'm not very good at multitasking." -Jack 1.9 Where can I get a copy of GirlFriend? GirlFriend has proven to be so successful that you can now find a copy in almost any local store or shopping mall. In fact, GirlFriend is so popular that you can even pick up a copy at your local bar!! In addition, some copies of GirlFriend can be found in homes as well! Unfortunately, ShareWare copies of GirlFriend have no ownership and users cannot determine whether a copy is new or used without some investigation. WARNING: There are some stores or individuals offering trial use of GirlFriend for a limited time (typically one night). These are hacked versions of GirlFriend with many functions taken out entirely. You should always get your copy from a reputable source. 2.0 What is Wife 1.0? Wife 1.0 and its sister programs are our registered versions of GirlFriend. We at GODco highly recommend you take your time in registering your copy of GirlFriend, as upgrades are NOT available, and an uninstall may wipe out your hard drive. Despite all this, millions of Americans keep coming back to Wife 1.0 year after year. 2.1 What versions of Wife are available? We at GODco offer many versions of Wife. However, not all are legal, depending on your State or Country laws (check local listings). Wife 1.0 - the upgraded version of GirlFriend 1.0, unlocks the "sex" feature Wife 1.69 - this rare version is completely compatable with GirlFriend, as long as your bring them home for dinner. 2.2 Why isn't my GirlFriend compatable with Wife? Wife 1.0 automatically searches for and erases all unregistered GirlFriend programs on your system. For those of you who find this untenable, we have recently developed several solutions: You can buy a version of wife that is compatable with GirlFriend, or, if you're stuck with an existing copy of Wife, you can make them totally compatable with our new patch: Co-Worker. You need to put GirlFriend in a hidden folder, and mask it with Co-Worker. Then you can run both Wife and GirlFriend at the same time. Every once in a while, Wife locks up, but a re-boot gets them both working together again. 2.3 Why should I buy Wife? When you buy Wife 1.0, you automatically hear about all our new releases. In addition, Wife 1.0 removes the need for you to own a separate operating system! Plus, some versions of Wife offer other functions, and may come with a warranty for parts and service. In addition, Wife 1.0 allows you to create your own subprograms for personal use (Note: use of Daughter1.0 is illegal in most states, but ownership is not). In addition, in some countries you may be able to buy upgrades from our Polygamy1.0 collection! 2.4 What is Prenup? The new plug in for Wife 1.0 is out- Prenup 0.5 (beta version only)- this plug in will make Wife 1.0 uninstall easier. When installing Prenup you will guarantee that only 1/2 of system resources will be lost when uninstalling wife. Prenup has to be installed before installing Wife 1.0 (it usually will be installed when upgrading from Girlfriend 4.0 to Wife 1.0). It should be stated that installing Prenup might seem like a waist of resources for the period of time that you wish that Wife 1.0 will remain in your system, but the real benefit of prenup is at the time you'll wish to uninstall Wife 1.0: Prenup will not probably lower the amount of loss to your system, but it will make the uninstall procedure run faster, cutting down the needed use of Lawyer 5.0 software (always needed to uninstall wife- it deals with the changing of all the dll, ini, and various autoexec and config files). The savings in use of Lawyer 5.0 will be very noticable- for the following reasons: 1) Lawyer 5.0 will take less resources (it destroys HD memory as a function of time- the less time Lawyer5.0 operates the less memory you will loss. 2) Lawyer's GReed(tm) option will be disabled as default on Prenup thus GReed(tm) will not have a chance to influence Wife 1.0 (GReed(tm) affects the amount of potential damage to the system- and it has been noted that frequently Lawyer 5.0's GReed(tm) option have great effect over Wife 1.0 desire to damage the system when uninstalling.) (you can download the beta version from http://www.devorSoft.com) 3.0 What is Mistress? New from GODco, here comes Mistress 1.0! This new utility works in harmony with Wife 1.0 and requires no multitasking on your part with the new AssureAvoidance(tm) software. Yes, with the Mistress 1.0 upgrade you can be sure of perfect harmony and pleasure without corruption or reduced performace of Wife 1.0. Wife 1.0 functionalities will not be effected by use of Mistress 1.0 so you can use them together without fear. WARNING: Some versions of Wife are incompatable with Mistress 1.0!! When you try to install Mistress 1.0 on such systems, Wife 1.0 produces a fatal error and will attempt to reformat your hardrive! As a matter of fact, one notable user (John B) had his Wife 1.0 reset his port settings, and was worried that he would permanently lose use of his joystick. This is an early bug in Mistress 1.0 and is caused by you failing to select the "Blissful ignorance" option when configuring for Wife 1.0. This is clearly detailed in Chinese on page 210 of Appendix C which you could have ordered for an additional $500 as recommended on page 38 of the manual under the heading "Cop out clauses or how you take the blame" this section is clearly printed in 2 point font in the right hand margin. We at GODco suggest you keep using Mistress 1.0 and when ResolveStickSituation comes out in 2nd Quarter '99 all you problems will be solved. In addition, Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources. 4.0 What is Hubbie? Hubbie is our latest program for the ladies. With an expanding female clientele, we at GODco are anxious to show our stuff in this era of changing tastes. After years of work, we are proud to present our new product--Hubbie1.3! Problem: I recently got the 'hubbie v1.3' and found that the 'dustbusting' and 'cleaning' option didnt work, anyone got any suggestions? The 'cuddle' and 'play' works too well though, it completely wears me out! Solution: We have been getting several complaints on some of the features of hubbie v1.3. This is normally however due to incorrect installation of the Software using either the "meaningful conversation" upgrade wizard from hubbie v1.2 or (as I guess you are using here) the "marriage" installation wizard. When you installed hubbie v1.3 using the marriage wizard you should have specified the "guilt and pliability" option by pressing the modify batchelor characteristics, this menu also allows you to place an ordering on the available tasks. I would guess that your old version of Boyfriend v2.0 (2.1 would has the automatic "meaningful conversation" upgrade to hubbie v1.3) had been self configured with "cuddle" and "play" as the two highest items (maybe with a low "responsibility" rating ?). So now how to solve the problem, using the provided hardware and the instruction manual you should implement the actions on page 24 of the manual using the "dowdy" Dynamic REassignment System Software (DRESS for short). Once the DRESS is installed you should follow the instructions on page 24, the beginning is quoted here to get you started. "Using the DRESS activate the "Hurt Look" option and the "Too Tired" protection software, at this stage you may select either the "meaningful conversation" or "emotional blackmail" options.... This will initially result in a reduction of the 'cuddle' and 'play' features. If you wish to increase these to their previous levels then I suggest you read appendix X , which cannot be reproduced here for legal reasons. I hope that you continue to enjoy our products and I draw your attention to the available upgrade to hubbie v1.3: The standard Rich Aunt who dies attachment can be made to hubbie v1.3 as with all our products. In addition hubbie v1.3 has the following possible upgrades: * Dislike sports addition * Get fit regime * Full DIY kit with competent and "don't bloody touch anything" options * Extra Life battery pack (Can go for longer without a re-charge) * Cordon Bleu qualifications additions * Full massage kit (hardware included) We see from our records that you have already purchased the "Personal Organiser" attachment as recommended. We would urge any other owners of our software to purchase this add on to prevent "Not found at address", "Out of Time" and "Required action was not found at Address XXX at time YYY". Once again I thank you for purchasing our products and hope you have many years of happy use. In addition, one of our users has emailed in another possible solution for you: User: You should be worried about the major bugs in hubbie 1.3 Many users report that the copy they received worked fine for about a year, but shortly after the warranty period, the 'cuddle' feature only works in 'fast-sim" mode, and the play function is no longer compatable with your own play function. I would recommend getting the patch asap. It also will check for recently detected compatability problems with 3rd party packages such as "Grass Manager". And many versions of hubby shipped with an odd virus that will automatically install Links AllSaturday (c) on your system and tie up system resources on weekends. I would SERIOUSLY suggest you run a memory manager with any version of Hubby(tm) as they tend to crash fifteen minutes after getting home and do not respond to user queries such as "how was your day?" and "can we talk about something?" You might consider getting a seperate unit to your network and installing BoyToy Gold. But this can lead to network shutdown, lost data, and Hubby 3.1 tends to wipe BoyToy from the system, and you could find yourself at a boot prompt. 5.0 Future releases from GODco. Future upgrades for Mistress 1.0 TeenageBabysitter 1.01 (previous version has been upgraded to include an age check) WifesSister 0.9a (still in Beta testing but looking good although some problems have proved difficult to recover from, we will solve the "Fatal Exception" raised by Wife 1.0 before release) Harem1.0 Mutliprocessing capabilities allowing you to run up to 10 Mistress 1.0 sessions at once. HaremServants1.0 Same as Harem1.0 but you are allowed more than 10 Mistresses at once. and of course the eagerly awaited ToyBoy1.0 attachment for Wife1.0 this allows Wife1.0 to use the extended bank account option and allows Husband1.0 to use the Chapter 11 bankrupcy option included in ToyBoy1.0. And for our younger clients GirlFriend1.0 now can be configured for GirlNextDoor1.2.1, this fixes the previous bug with Father1.0 that resulted in a "Fatal Exception" being raised. OlderWoman2.0 RichOlderWoman1.0 this requires a remote Wife1.0 and ToyBoy1.0 to work correctly. All versions (except those sold in the Republic of Ireland) now come with Contraception4.0 protection as standard. A special note on TeenageBabysitter1.01: Don't buy the hype on this one. You can't even disable the Tellall function or the "auto-broadcaster modes." Seems to be a deliberate bug, by the manufacturers, since there's no trace of it in ver 1.00. If you accidently leave TeenageBabysitter1.01 running while connected to a live modem, you've had it. Not only will it spawn your dialer, tie up your phone lines, and run up your bill, if left to its own devices for too long, it'll eventually patch itself thru to the M-I-L reporting service, operating IMHO more like Mistress1.0. The only way to shut this bug (?) down is to overload the input cache-buffer, with not fewer than four diffrent credit-card numbers (preferable VISA-Gold or above), BEFORE leaving TB1.01 unattended for lenghty periods. Otherwise the Mother-In-Law reporting service will more-than-likely revoke your Wife1.0 registration, recalling & poisoning your working copy of Wife1.0. This will of course lead to either an Unrecoverable Lifestyle Error or XMS/EMS TrialSeperation buffering crash, depending upon which Excuse Mode you were running Wife1.0 under at the time. Neither of which is particurlarly pleasant. We've had much better luck running TB ver 1.00. Aside from the obvious lack of an age-check, it accepts the new SlumberParty0.8a plug-in (Available for $29.95 from PlayTechs(tm), the creators of the uplifting WonderDOS). This multiplicative state gives the user the illusion that they're surrounded by a Harem1.0 shell environment, albeit scaled down to TeenageBabysitter's operating parameters. ---> Just make sure you crank your Wife1.0's delay-mode down to either "Unexpected" or "Indeterminate," to limit active system interference. Now, you're playing with power! 6.0 Bugs Shortly after that, I installed Girlfriend 3.0 beta. All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to Girlfriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed virus protection. It worked OK for a while until I discovered Girlfriend 1.0 was still in my system! I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 again with Girlfriend 4.0 still installed, but Girlfriend 4.0 has a feature that I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of Girlfriend 1.0 and communicates with it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both versions! The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of Girlfriend, it is written in some obscure language that I can't understand, much less re-program. Frankly, I, think that there is too much attention paid to the look and feel and not enough to the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts. And I've never liked how Girlfriend is totally 'object-oriented'. A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of Girlfriend to GirlfriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of Girfriend. He discovered that GirlfriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did. But soon after that, you have to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a 'huge resource hog'. It has taken up all his space, so he can't load anything else. One of the primary reasons that he upgraded to Wife 1.0 is that it came bundled with FreeSexPlus 1.0. Well it turns out that the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus, particularly the new Plug and Play items he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. And, although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw 1.0 which has an automatic pop-up feature that he can't turn off. I told him to install Mistress 1.0, but he said that he heard that if you try to run it without first uninstalling Wife, that Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install anyway due to insufficent resources. |
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