Goat Jokes

Goat Jokes

What's the most popular order at Goat Burger?
The kids meal!

  Two guys were walking in the woods and came across a big hole. They
wondered how deep it was so decided to drop in a pebble and listen for
it to hit bottom. They dropped in a pebble and nothing happened. No
noise. They dropped in a boulder and there was still no noise. They
decided to scout around for something really big to drop in the hole
and came across a railroad tie. They pushed and pulled it over to the
hole and dropped it in. Still no noise.
  Suddenly a goat ran out of the woods and jumped into the hole. When a
farmer came by a little later and asked if anyone had seen his goat,
they said they had seen a goat run out of the woods and jump into the
  The farmer said, "It couldn't have been my goat. He was tied to a 
railroad tie!"

  There was this man, a crazy dog, and a goat that were shipwrecked on a
deserted island.  After a few months, the man started getting horny and
decided that he was going to fuck the goat, but whenever he tried, the
crazy dog would start biting his leg.  So, he tried many more times, but
every time the dog would attack his leg.  Then, one day, a beautiful
woman washed up on shore.  The man dragged her up into his hut where she
woke up.
  The woman said, "Thank you for saving my life!  I'll do anything for 
you, just ask."
  "Well," the man said, "I have been quite horny over he past few months.
I tell you what, hold this damn dog, so I can fuck this goat!"

  The Setting: A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking 
to a young man.
  Old Man:  "Lad, look out there to the field.  Do ya see that 
fence? Look how well it's built.  I built that fence stone by 
stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they 
call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder?"
  Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar.  Do 
ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me 
own achin' back.  I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for 
eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder?"
  Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to 
sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can 
see?  I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it 
board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder?"
  Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no 
one is paying attention. "But ya screw one goat... "

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