What do you call a dinosaur that is always sleeping?
Steg-a-snor-us
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic Pork!
What species of dinosaur was homosexual?
The Megasauras
What species of dinosaur was lesbian?
The Lickalotopus
What's the best way to call a Tyrannosaurus Rex?
Long distance!
What does a Triceratops sit on?
It's Tricera-bottom!
What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?
Bronco-saurus!
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust!
What dinosaur loves pancakes?
A tri-syrup-tops.
Why couldn't the long-necked dinosaur see?
Because it had its head in the clouds!
An 80-million-year-old dinosaur egg was found in the Mongolian
desert. Scientists say it's texture closely resembles that of the
No. 2 breakfast at Denny's.
A scientist finds evidence of an actual dinosaur, alive and
living in the rainforests of South America. He campaigns several
universities and succeeds in getting a grant to launch an expedition.
Several weeks pass and the expedition party stumble upon a 3 foot
tall pigmy standing near a 300 foot long dead dinosaur.
The scientist approaches the pigmy and exclaims, "Dear Lord!
Did you kill this dinosaur?"
"Yep!" replied the pigmy.
"But, it's so big and you're so small!"
"Yep!", replied the pigmy.
"How the hell did you kill it?" inquired the scientist.
"With my club," replied the pigmy.
"How big is your club?" demanded the scientist.
The pigmy replied, "Well, there're about 50 of us!"
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are
marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard,
"Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six
months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do
you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three
million years old when I started working here, and that was
four and a half years ago."
And then there was my friend who claims that she overheard two
little old ladies discussing the La Brea tar pits (in Los Angeles:
Mammoths and other prehistoric animals got trapped there in the tar,
and there is now a museum showing both animals that were dug out and
the work still in progress).
She swears that one lady said to the other "Isn't it amazing that
such big animals lived right by such a busy street as Wilshire?".
If that comet hadn't hit the Earth 65 million years ago, would
humans today be used as test lab animals for really, really huge
Preparation H suppositories?
Two dinosaurs date each other for five thousand years. Finally
the male says to the female, "We've been going together for five
thousand years, and we've never kissed. I think it's time that
we kiss"
They kiss, and for another five thousand years they date and kiss.
Finally the male says to the female, "We've been going together
for ten thousand years, and we've never made love. I think it's time
that we do."
The female replies, "Geez, I'd love to, but I'm having my decade."
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