The World's Most Retarded Puns

Top selling cookbook in Korea...
101 Ways to Wok Your Dog.

We all know that Columbus believed the world was round when others
believed it was flat and that if you travelled far enough you would go
over the edge.  We also know that Columbus reached what we now know as
America.  While there are still a few who believe Columbus returned to
Spain and told Queen Isabella that he discovered a new world, most
believe he had told her he had reached India.  Recently documents
written by Queen Isabella's official scribe were uncovered revealing
what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage.  His
first words were, "I'll bet I'm the first man who ever got nineteen
hundred miles on a galleon."

  Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been
friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles
whenever they passed each other.
  A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What did they do that for?"
  The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never
heard aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"

  One day at the watering hole, an elephant looked around and carefully
surveyed the turtles in view. 
After a few seconds thought, he walked over to one turtle, raised his 
foot, and KICKED the turtle as far as he could. (Nearly a mile)
A watching hyena asked the elephant why he did it?
  "Well, about 30 years ago I was walking through a stream and a turtle
bit my foot. Finally I found the S.O.B and repaid him for what he had 
done to me."
  "30 years!!! And you remembered...But HOW???"
  "I have turtle recall."

  A young man was in love with a lovely young lady but unfortunately 
she did not feel the same way about him. In desperation he went and 
visited a group of witches searching for a love potion.
  They informed him that they no longer provided such an item. It
was highly unethical to administer a potion to someone without her
  They did have an alternate solution however. They sold him a 
bottle of small white pellets. He was to bury one in her yard 
every night at midnight for a month.
  He returned to the witches six weeks later excited and thankful. 
He and the young lady were to wed in a month.
  The witch told him, ..."Nothin' says lovin' like something from
a coven, and pills buried say it best."

   In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite used 
to the pub owners little dog being around the bar, so were 
quite upset when one day the little dog died. 
  Everyone met to decide how they could remember the little
dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick it up
behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's wagging
  The little dog went up to heaven and was about to run through
the pearly gates when he was stopped by Saint Peter, who
questioned the little dog as to where he was going. 
  The little dog said, "I have been a good dog - so I am going
into heaven where I belong!".
  Saint Peter replied, "Heaven is a place of perfection, you 
can not come into heaven without a tail, where is your tail?" 
  The little dog explained what had happened back on earth.
St Peter told the little dog to go back down to earth and
retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was now
the middle of the night on earth, but St Peter would not
change his mind. 
  So the little dog went back down to earth and scratched on
the door of the pub until the bartender who lived upstairs
came down and opened the door. 
  "My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can 
I do for you?", asked the bartender.
  The little dog explained that he wasn't allowed into heaven 
without his tail, and he needed it back.
  The bartender replied, "I would really like to help you, but 
my liquor license doesn't allow me to retail spirits after hours!" 

  A botanist had just returned from an expedition to the South
Pacific Islands and was dicussing their adventures with their
colleagues back at the university where they taught.
  "What was the most exciting discovery you found there?", asked a 
fellow professor.
  One of them replied, "The people native to this one island had
discovered the most amazing cure for constipation.  Using only the
leafs of the local palm trees they concocted a suppository which
quickly cured the ailment."
  Another professor asked, "A palm leaf suppository? Did it really
  Replied the botanist, "With fronds like these...who needs enemas."

News Flash! 
  There were two ships crossing the pacific.  One carrying blue paint 
from Singapore to Los Angeles, and the other carrying red dyes from 
America to Taiwan.  Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, the two ships 
met abruptly.  The ships were lost to the sea and the crews of both 
are believed to be marooned.

  The proprietor of a big aquarium was terribly upset and called over 
her assistant.
  "We have a bunch of school children coming over tomorrow, and I just 
looked in and those horny dolphins are continuously mating. We can't 
let the kids see that."
  "What can we do about it?" the assistant asked.
  "The only thing that will make them stop is to feed them baby 
seagulls," She replied. "You'll have to go get them, but it won't be 
easy. There's a bunch of them at the city zoo. You'll have to break in
tonight, grab the little birds and bring them back here. But be careful.
There's a stony faced old lion who guards the birdhouse at the zoo and 
he'd eat you if you make too much noise." 
  That night, the aquarium assistant sneaks into the zoo, quietly enters 
the bird house, and makes off with a sack full of baby seagulls. He's 
outside the zoo and about to head back to the office with his booty when 
suddenly there are cops everywhere. Surprised at being caught, he asks an
officer what he's charged with.
  "Don't you know?" said the cop, "Transporting young gulls across a 
staid lion for immoral porpoises!"

  A marine biologist at the University or New Brunswick was working on 
a system that would allow humans to talk to fish, and fish to talk with 
humans. One day, after many years of working in the lab, the system is 
ready for field testing.  The scientist takes his gear down to a local 
salmon stream and sets it up.  Lo and behold, the system worked!  Our 
hero began talking with the salmon in the stream and the salmon began 
talking with the scientist. The scientist noticed one particular salmon
that looked a little different from the rest. This salmon was a deeper
reddish brown than the others, so he nick-named him Rusty.
  The scientist then struck up quite a friendship with Rusty. Rusty 
told the scientist what it was like to be a fish, and the scientist 
told Rusty what it was like to be a human being.
  One day, after two seasons by the stream, Rusty said, "It's time for
me to leave for the ocean."
  The marine biologist responded, "NO Rusty! You can't! Do you know how
dangerous the trip will be?  Do you know that the return rate for your 
species is about 2%?  Do you know that there are many dangers you will 
have to face on the journey -- Fishermen, sharks and pollution to
name a few."
  "Look" said Rusty, "A salmon's gotta do what a salmon's gotta do."
  So off he went. Two years later, the scientist is still working by 
the same stream, when he hears a familiar voice from the past. Rusty 
had returned!  The two of them quickly became reaquainted.
  "You know, you were right about all the dangers" said Rusty. 
"I lost track of the number of times that I was almost caught in some
fisherman's net. I lost track of the number of times that I was almost
eaten by sharks.  But let me tell you," Rusty continued, "about the 
amazing sights I witnessed."
  "Tell me what you saw!" said the scientist excitedly.
  "The ship wrecks were incredible!" The scientist explained to Rusty 
about the large number of ships that were sunk in the North Atlantic.
  "Well one ship I saw, the Titanic, was really fantastic! It was just 
gorgeous!  We swam all through it, up the grand staircases, down into 
the dining salons! It was so moving that I decided to write some poetry
about it."
  "It must be really beautiful stuff" said the scientist.
  "I know it is. Maybe you could help me get it published?", said Rusty.
  "Sure" said the scientist, "Do you have a title for your poems?"
  "Yes -- Salmon Rusty's Titanic Verses!"

  It is believed that the stock markets go up and down with the rise 
and fall of the hemlines in ladies skirts and dresses.
  Proof of this phenomenon is in the following historical facts:
  Glamour stocks and mini skirts soared in 1993. 
Conglomerates and hemlines went down in the spring of 1994. 
Hot pants led the Dow Jones up in 1971. 
  The advice to the investor then, is, "Don't sell until you see the 
heights of their thighs!"

  Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.  One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor.  The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much.  
  The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

  There once was a family of four skunks.  A Mother skunk, a Father 
skunk and two identical twin baby skunks named Inskunk and Outskunk.  
Their parents named them as such because the only way they could tell 
one from the other was to keep Inskunk inside all the time and Outskunk
outside continually except at meal time.  When being fed, Inskunk would
be inside to eat and when done Inskunk would go out and Outskunk would
come in to eat. After eating Outskunk would go back outside and Inskunk
would come back in. They followed this ritual daily to avoid confusion.
  One day Mother skunk had to go in to town and left Father skunk to
look after Inskunk and Outskunk. As she was leaving she reminded Father
skunk not to mix up the two as the last time it took a week to sort out
which was which.
  Father skunk just replied, "Don't worry dear.  I can tell them apart."
  So off she went. When lunch time arrived Father skunk let Outskunk in
to eat without letting Inskunk outside.  Mother skunk just happened to
come home at that time and was shocked!
  "I can't believe you mixed them up again!", she screamed.
  Father skunk replied, "They're not mixed up, This is Inskunk and over
there is Outskunk!."
  Mother Skunk inquired, "How can you be so sure that that is Inskunk
and that one is Outskunk?"
  "Simple!", said Father Skunk, "Instincts!"

  Israeli police are looking for a man named Joseph, wanted for looting
in the port city of Haifa. The suspect is described as the son of a an 
ex-nun from Barcelona and a German father. He was a former flutist and 
worked occasionally as a farmer. 
  In short, he was "A Haifa-lootin', flutin' Teuton, son-of-a-nun from 
Barcelona, part-time plowboy Joe."

  A man goes into his dentist's office with a terrible pain in his jaw.
Soon enough, he's in the chair and the doctor starts probing with his 
metal pick.
  "Does this hurt?" he asks, as his patient's knuckles whitened. 
Finally the dentist stood back and asked:
  "Do you eat lots of candy?"
  "Do you drink lots of soda pop?"
  "Very seldom."
  "Have you been brushing every day?"
  "Yes doctor, three times a day."
  "Well, I can't think of anything that's causing all the cavities 
have. Can you think of anything?"
  "Well, I do like hollandaise sauce an awful lot."
  "Hollandaise sauce?"
  "Yes, I love the stuff. I have it on everything. On toast, eggs, 
cereal, ice-cream, pancakes, and so on.  I just can't get enough 
of it!"
  "Well, I'll tell you what, let me put in a plate and see if 
it helps."
  The dentist put a plate into his patients mouth, and sent him on 
his way, with instructions to come back in six months for a check-up.
The months passed quickly enough, and soon the man was back into the 
  "Doc, I can't believe it!  Since you put that plate in, I've had 
no problems with my teeth at all!  What was it made of anyway?"
  "It was a chrome plate."
  "Chrome?  Why a chrome plate?"
  "Well you know," said the dentist.
  "There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

  I entered a local Pun Contest.  I sent in ten different puns in the
hope that at least one of the puns would win. 
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

  It had to happen, someday. The municipal philharmonic symphony and
chorus were rehearsing Symphony No. 9 by Ludwig Von Beethoven. Since
the chorus doesn't enter until the final movement, the singers were 
becoming very bored - especially the men in the back row. Then the 
basses had a clever idea. During break, they tied a nylon fishline 
around the conductor's score, 4 pages prior to the beginning of the
last movement. They ran the line up through a roof vent, across the
street and down into Joe's tavern. This allowed them to relax at the
bar chugging brews, and when the line jerked, they could run across
the street and take their places in the chorus at the precise time.
  Their plan worked flawlessly, especially when the conductor paused
before continuing, to have the trombones, who were playing somewhat 
flat, tune their instruments. So all singers were in readiness as 
the conductor raised his baton.
  Well.....almost all... except for two men who had earlier passed
out at the bar.
  And so this became the first case in musical history where it was
the bottom of the ninth, the basses were loaded, the score was tied,
there were two out, the leadoff man was up and the inside pitch 
was low. 

  A man has been feeling really bad for about 3 weeks and goes to see 
his doctor. 
  The doctor tells him, "I don't know what you've got but it could be 
serious so I'm sending you to the Rare Disease Specialist." 
  The man went to the specialist who told the man, "You have this rare
illness that occurs only once every ten years or so. The only cure is 
made in Australia in a little town called Mercey, about 400 miles from
Sydney. Otherwise you have only one week to live."  
  The man took the first flight he could to Sydney, rented a car and 
drove to Mercey, Australia. When he got there he found it was a town 
with a population of one. The man walked up to the one house in the 
village and an old doctor answered.
  "You have to help me!" said the man, "I'm dying of this rare illness
and I have only 4 days to live"
  The old man invited him in and said, "I must give you my special 
Koala Bear Tea. It is the only thing that will cure you." 
  The old man went out to get the supplies. One koala, a few birds, 
platapus placentas and such. The doctor boiled them together and gave
them to the man with bones and feathers and dirt swirling throughout.
The young man looked at it disgustingly and asked if it could be 
  The old doctor looked horrified and said, "Oh No. The Koala Tea 
of Mercey is never strained"

  A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at
about 3 am.  The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor 
to stop. Upon hearing the sailor's lame explanation for his tardiness,
the officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link 
on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!
  The sailor  began to pick up the broom and commence performing his 
charge.  As he began to sweep, a tern landed on the broom handle. The 
sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't.  The lad picked the 
tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.  The bird left, only
to return and light once again on the broom handle.  The sailor went 
through the same routine all over again, with the same result. He 
couldn't get any cleaning done because he can only sweep at the chain 
once or twice before the blasted bird returns.  When morning came, so 
did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor. 
  "What in the heck have you been doing all night?  This chain is no 
cleaner than when you started!  What have you to say for yourself, 
sailor?" barked the chief.
  "Honest, chief," came the  reply, "I tossed a tern all night and
couldn't sweep a link!"

  At one time, economic conditions caused the closing of several small 
clothing mills in the English countryside. A man from West Germany bought
the buildings and converted them into dog kennels for the convenience of
German tourists who liked to have their pets with them while vacationing
in England. One summer evening, a local resident called to his wife to 
come out of the house.
 "Just listen!", he urged. "The Mills Are Alive With the Hounds 
of Munich!"

  A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt, and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family
in Spain; who name him "Juan."  Years later, Juan sends a picture of 
himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.  
  Her husband responded, "But they are twins--if you've seen Juan, 
you've seen Amal."

  Sitting Bull had 3 wives who were always quarreling about who should
be number one. One was pretty, one was clever and one was very strong.
Finally, tired of their squabbles he told his medicine man to resolve 
the issue. 
  The medicine man took the wives to his teepee where he had gathered 
pelts and hides from all over the world.  He told each wife to choose 
a hide and sit on it in front of the sacred campfire.  The clever wife
chose a pelt of thick white fur, the strong wife chose a hide of orange
and black stripes and the pretty wife chose a hide of rubbery grey 
leather.  The medicine man then pointed to the pretty wife and said, 
"Behold chief, your number one wife."
  The chief was pleased, but the other two wives demanded an 
  The medicine man said, "Even the ancient ones knew that the squaw
of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other 
two hides."

....The Canonical List Of Punny Book Titles

"Zaftig Ladies"                         By C Irving Hipps"
"Yours Forever"                         By Tillie N. Deteim
"You're Welcome"                        By N. Q. Verymuch
"You're So Sweet"                       By Mable Syrup
"You're Kidding!"                       By Shirley U. Jest
"You're Being Audited!"                 By O. Y. Mee
"You're A Bundle Of Laughs"             By Vera Funny
"Your Guess Is As Good As Mine"         By S. T. Mate
"You Wash, I'll Dry"                    By Terry Cloth
"You Too Can Gain Weight"               by Marietta Pi
"You Tell Me The Answer!"               By S. Q. Question
"You Drip!"                             By Lee K. Fawcette
"You Always Get Caught"                 By Sue Nora Later
"Yoko's Robe"                           By Kim Ono
"Yellow River"                          By I. P. Daily
                                        Annotated By I. P. Standing
"XYZ"                                   By C. My Willie
"X-Rated Bubble Baths"                  By Robin D. Cradles
"Wouldn't You Know It"                  By Murphy Slaw
"Woulda Been A Great Shortstop"         By Kent Hitt
"Worms"                                 By Earl E Byrd
"Working In A Nursing Home"             By K. R. Giver
"Wonderful Sex Life"                    By Mona Lott
"Without Warning"                       By Oliver Sudden
"Within The Law"                        By Lee Gull
"Wish I'd Never Been Born"              By Rudy Daye
"Winning The Race"                      By Vic Tree
"Winning At Golf"                       By T.Off
"Wind Instruments"                      By Tom Bone
"Wind In The Maple Trees"               By Russell Ingleaves
"Will You Marry Me?"                    By S. I. Will
"Will He Or Won't He?"                  By Mae B. Sew
"Why Women Wear Bras"                   By Drew P. Tits
"Why Women Exercise"                    By Hy Bunz
"Why There Are No Jokes On Humor"       By I. M. Just & Jo King
"Why Software Is Buggy"                 By Q. A. Tester
"Why Our Dumps Are Filling Up"          By X. S. Waste
"Why Must I Teach This Class?"          By T. A. Blues
"Why Do People Avoid Me?"               By B. O. Problem
"Why Cars Stop"                         By M.T. Tank
"Whose Face Can Launch 1000 Ships?"     By L. N. Otroy
"Who Killed Cock Robin?"                By Howard I. Know
"Who Killed Cock Robin?"                By B. B. Gunn
"Who Cares?"                            By A. Y. Nott
"Who Ate All The Cookies?"              By L. F. Eyeno
"White House Memories"                  By Ronald Reagan
"Whip Me Into Shape"                    By S. M. Kinky
"Where's My Hat?"                       By Sonia Head
"Where To Put Your Money"               By Bill Fold
"Where To Get A Road Hog"               By R. V. Dealer
"Where to Find Islands"                 By Archie Pelago
"Where There Are Hangings Every Day"    By R. T. Museum
"Where The World Is Going"              By Helena Handbasket
"Where She Sells Sea Shells"            By S. C. Shore
"When's The Revolution?"                By Millie Tant
"When Your Child Reaches 5"             By Susan Miller
"When Baseball Heros Strike Out"        By K. C. Atbatt
"What's Your Invention?"                By Pat Tent
"What's Up Doc?"                        By Howie Dewin
"What's Green, Yet Does Not Grow?"      By U. S. Dollar
"What's For Dinner?"                    By Chuck Roast
"What's For Breakfast?"                 By Hammond Eggs
"Whatchamacallit!"                      By Thingum Bob
"What To Do With Your Invention"        By Pat Tent
"What To Do If You're In A Car Accident" By Rhea Ender
"What The Butler Saw"                   By Ava Nutherluk
"What Music Used To Be On"              By L. P. Record
"What Makes Army People Sick"           By P. X. Food
"What Makes Airplanes Go"               By Jeff Fuel
"What I Took"                           By Irv Erginity
"What I Really Want"                    By Trudie Zire"
"What I Dance To"                       By D. J. Music
"West Coast Universities"               By Stan Ford
"We're All Flakes"                      By Dan Druff
"Well, I Never!"                        By I. D. Claire
"Weepy Movie"                           By Maud Lynn Story
"Weekend In Hong Kong"                  By Rick Shaw
"Webster's Words"                       By Dick Shunnary
"We Won 20-1!"                          By Barry Um
"We Take Credit Cards, But..."          By Cassius Better
"We Solve Mysteries"                    By P. I. Detective
"We All Need This!"                     By S. N. Shall
"Waterways Of The World"                By Sue S. Canal
"Waste Water"                           By Sue Ridgepipe
"War Injuries I Have Seen"              By V. A. Hospital
"Wake Up!"                              By Sal Ammoniac
"Vowel Promissory Notes "               By A. E. I. O'You
"Volunteer's Guidebook"                 By Linda Hand
"Virgin Marriage"                       By Chastity Belt
"Violate Me And Your Program Will Crash!" By R. A. Bounds
"Very Precise"                          By Matt Iculous
"Vegetarian Cooking"                    By Jeffrey Dahlmer
"Vegetable Arrangements"                By Arty Choke
"Vegas"                                 by Candyce Rolle
"Vacationing In Europe"                 By A. Broad
"Vacation In France"                    By Hugo Down
"V.D."                                  By Dick Hertz
"Urban Areas"                           By Bill Tupp
"Upstream"                              By Sam N. Fishing
"Unwanted Babies"                       By Anna Bortion
"Unsolved Mysteries"                    By N. Igma
"Unsolved Murders"                      By Mr. E
"Unproductive Employees"                By Colin Sikh
"Unknown Rodent"                        By A. Nonny Mouse
"Uninteresting Road Signs"              By Bill Bored
"Unemployed"                            By Anita Job.
"Under The Bleacher Seats"              By Seymore Butts
"Ultimate In Hypocrisy"                 By Im Won Too
"Tyrant of the Potatoes"                By Dick Tater
"Two Yankees In Mexico"                 By Peregrine Gose
"Two Thousand Pounds!"                  By Juan Ton
"Twelfth Month"                         By Dee Sember
"Turtle Racing"                         By Eubie Quick
"Turn Your Head And Cough"              By Olden Mcgroin
"Turkish Minerals"                      By Asa Miner
"Tug Of War"                            By Paul Hard
"Try, Try Again"                        By Getty Trite
"Try And Try Again"                     By Percy Vere
"Trucker's Worst Nightmare"             By Bridge Tulow
"Tropical Paradise"                     By Kumon Iwannaghuqya
"Triumphal Procession"                  By Victor E. March
"Trim Those Sideburns Too?"             By Buzz Cutt
"Trial Law"                             By Tess Temoni
"Treasure In The Outhouse"              By I. P. Nickels
"Traveling Insects"                     By Bugs Oliver Windshield
"Traveling In Mexico"                   by Burr E. Tow
"Training For The Olympics"             By B. D. Best
"Trails In The Sand"                    By Peter Dragon
"Trail Guide To Yellowstone Park"       By Y. O. Ming
"Toupee Embarrassment"                  By Harrison Backwards
"Toodleeoo, Dear"                       By C. U. Soon
"Too Rough"                             By Soren Redd
"Too Drunk To Walk"                     By Carrie Mee-Ohm
"Too Bad For You!"                      By T. S. Sucker
"Tolstoi"                               By Warren Peace
"To Be Honest"                          By Frank Lee
"Tipping The Outhouse"                  By John Turner
"Tinseltown Tales"                      By Holly Wood
"Times Of Wealth"                       By Richard Ayes
"Time To Eat!"                          By Dean R. Bell
"Tight Situation"                       By Leah Tard
"Tiger's Revenge"                       By Claud Body
"Those Funny Dogs"                      By Joe Kur
"Thirst In The Desert"                  By Mustafa Drink
"Things To Do At Parties"               By Bob Frapples
"Things to Cook Meat In"                By Stu Potts
"They're Not Cows"                      By M. R. Horses
"Theft And Robbery"                     By Andy Tover
"Theft Among Arthropods"                By The Lieutenants
"The World's Last Days"                 By D. N. Izneer
"The World's Deadliest Joke"            By Theophilus Punoval
"The World's Best Recipes"              By Gus Tatorial
"The Works Of Leo Tolstoy"              By Warren Peace
"The Wit And Wisdom Of Chico Marx"      By Y. A. Duck
"The White Flag"                        By O. I. Givupp
"The White Cliffs"                      By Eileen Dover
"The Water Diviner"                     By Hazel Fork
"The Volunteer's Guidebook"             By Linda Hand
"The Void"                              By M. T. Ness
"The Visitor"                           By Enoch Zatador
"The Vietnam Conflict"                  By Warren A. Shaw
"The Urinalysis"                        By P. P. Inacupp
"The Ups And Downs Of Penis Therapy"    By John Wayne Bobbitt
"The Unknown Rodent"                    By A. Nonny Mouse
"The Unknown Author"                    By Ann Onymous
"The Unexpected"                        By Oliver Sudden
"The Twelfth Month"                     By Dee Sember
"The TV News Anchorman"                 By Maury Ports
"The Tudor Banquet"                     By Henrietta Knox
"The Truancy Problem                    By Marcus Absent
"The Trojan War"                        By Helena Troy
"The Tin Can Cookbook"                  By Billie Gote
"The Tightrope Walker"                  By Betty Falls
"The Terminator"                        By L. B. Back
"The Telltale Heart"                    By Stefi Scope
"The Sword In History"                  By Ray Pierre
"The Sweat Shop"                        By Hiram Cheap
"The Strip Joint"                       By C. R. Boddies
"The Stars Tell It All"                 By Horace Cope
"The Squeaking Gate"                    By Rusty Hinges
"The Spiritual Life"                    By Ned Itation
"The Solitary Beast"                    By Annie Malone
"The Solar System"                      By P. Lanets & Son
"The Smorgasbord"                       By Buffy Dinner
"The Sixty Ninth Romance"               By E.R. French
"The Singer"                            By Barry Tone
"The Shrinking Society"                 By Les Ismoor
"The Sex Maniacs Guide"                 By Rippernickerszov
"The Sex Mad Russian"                   By Ivantor Titsoff
"The Senior Prom"                       By Spike Drink
"The Senator"                           By D. C. Resident
"The Self-Made Man"                     By Peter Long
"The Scent Of A Man"                    By Jim Nasium
"The Sayings Of Homer Simpson"          By Y. U. Liddle
"The Russian With Three Testicles"      By Ooja Nikabolokov
"The Russian Circumcision"              By Al Kutchakokoff
"The Ruptured Japanese"                 By Hung Low
"The Rooster's Mistake"                 By Rhoda Duck
"The Role Of The Hit Man"               By L. M. Innate
"The Rifle Range"                       By Bob Downe
"The Respiratory System"                By Aaron Lungs
"The Race To The Outhouse"              By Willie Makeit
                                        Edited By Betty Wont
"The Punny Book Title Collection 8-)"   By R. D. Harhar
"The Pullman Sleeper"                   By Bertha Buv
"The Protruding Pajama Leg              By Lotta Dicks
"The Porn Queen"                        By Mona Lott
"The Pony Club Show"                    By Jim Carner
"The Poker Player"                      By Delia Cards
"The Phillipine Post Office"            By Imelda Letter
"The Perils Of Drug Addiction"          By Anita Fixx
"The People Of Mensa"                   By Gene Yuss
"The Peeping Tom"                       By C. K. Undress
"The Peace Mission"                     By Olive Branch
"The Paper Route"                       By Avery Daye
"The Palace Roof has a Hole"            By Lee King
"The Paint Ingredient"                  By Linsey Doyle
"The Optician's Guide"                  By Seymour Clearly
"The Open Window"                       By Eileen Doubt
"The Open Kimono"                       By I. C. Hair
"The Old Fashioned Way"                 By Ilene Back

"The Old Codger"                        By A. T. Yearsold
"The Nomadic Cowboy"                    By I. "Moo" Vaughn
"The 'New Math' Simplified"             By Juan Thieu Thierry
"The Nerd"                              By C. S. Major
"The Nazi War Machine"                  By Zeeguh Hill
"The Naughty Farm Boy"                  By Enid Spankin
"The National Science Foundation"       By Grant Money
"The Myth Of The Mafia"                 By I. L. Killya
"The Musical World Of Walt Disney"      By M. O. Yewessee
"The Music Of Sammy Davis Jr."          By Candy Mann
"The Monkey Cage"                       By Jim Panzee
"The Miracle Drug"                      By Penny Cillin
"The Mighty Oak"                        By A. Korn
"The Man On The Ledge"                  By Willy Jump
"The Long Hot Summer"                   By I. Scream
"The Lonely Lady"                       By Herman Lefter
"The Liquid Diet"                       By I.P. Freely
"The Lion-Tamer"                        By Claud Face
"The Lion Attacked"                     By Claudia Armoff
"The Last Roundup"                      By Brandon Irons
"The Last Frontier"                     By L. S. Kah
"The Largest Bra In The World"          By Norma Stitz
"The Lady Pirate"                       By Peg Legg
"The LA Lakers' Breakfast"              By Kareem O'Wheat
"The Joys Of Playing An Instrument"     By Clara Nett
"The Japanese Way Of Death"             By Harri Kari
"The Irish Heart Surgeon"               By Angie O'Plasty
"The Insomniac"                         By Eliza Wake
"The Industrial Revolution"             By Otto Mattick
"The Incompetent Bullfighter"           By Gordon Bloody
"The Ideal Husband"                     By John Henry Everhard
"The Human Brain"                       By Sarah Bellum
"The Housing Problem"                   By Rufus Quick
"The Hoosier State"                     By N. D. Anna
"The Hitchhiker"                        By Juan Nalift
"The History Of The Mini Skirt"         By Seymour Legg
"The History Of Rock And Roll"          By Tristan Shout
"The History Of Exxon"                  By Phil Errup
"The Hidden Surprise"                   By Pam Perz
"The Ham Radio Primer"                  By Loudon Clear
"The Greatest Pleasure"                 By X. T. See
"The Great Rubber Failure"              By Iva Child
"The Great Flood"                       By Noah Zark
"The Great Fabrication"                 By Paul E. Ester
"The Great Escape"                      By Freida Convict
"The Greasy Spoon"                      By Chris Coe
"The Grass Is Always Greener"           By N. V. Uss
"The Good Employee"                     By O. K. Boss
"The Good Breakfast"                    By Hammond Deggs
"The German's Favorite Spot"            By Herr Bottom
"The German Bank Robbery"               By Hans Zupp
"The Gardener"                          By Moses Lawn
"The Garden State"                      By Ida Hoe
"The Gangsters"                         By Robin Steele
"The Future"                            by Chris Tobalz
"The Future Of Robotics"                By Cy Borg And Anne Droid
"The Funeral"                           By Paul Bearer
"The Frozen South"                      By A. Winterbottom
"The Friendly Bartender"                By Juana Beer
"The French Chef"                       by Sue Flay
"The Fortuneteller"                     By Reid Palms
"The Flip Dizzy Hawaiian"               By Lacka Nookie
"The Female Ghost"                      By Sheila Peer
"The Farmer's Wife"                     By Mike Howe
"The Fall Of A Watermelon"              By S. Platt
"The Excursion"                         By Sally Forth
"The Excitement Of Trees"               By I. M. Board
"The Evils Of Masturbation"             By Ibin Yackinoff
"The Escape Of Bonnie Prince Charlie"   By Scot Free
"The Errant Sledgehammer"               By O. G. Datturts
"The English Rupture"                   By Lord Howard Hurtz
"The End That Justifies The Means"      By C. Y. Eyedidit
"The End Of The Week"                   By Gladys Friday
"The Empty Cookie Jar"                  By Arthur Anymore
"The Empath"                            By Ophelia Sadness
"The Effects of Alcohol"                By Sir Osis of Liver
"The Economy Is Recovering!"            By Knott Quite
"The Easy Lay"                          By Carmen Gettit
"The Earthquake"                        By Major Diaster
"The Drawing Lesson"                    By Art Master
"The Drawbacks Of Strong Drink"         By D. T. Sufferer
"The Dog Track"                         By C. M. Run
"The Disco Craze"                       By B. G. Singers
"The Disappointed Old Maid"             By Dickie Small
"The Diamond Robbery"                   By Jules Argon
"The Decline Of Civilization"           By Helena Handcart
"The Debtor"                            By Owen Munny
"The Dead Of Winter"                    By Jan Yuary
"The Day All Heck Broke Loose"          By K. T. Bardedoor
"The Criminals Of Watergate"            By Barton Mee
"The Credit Card"                       By Wright N. Bills
"The Constipated Chinaman"              By Hung Chow
"The Consequences Of Trick Or Treating" By Tommy Ayk
"The Comprehensive Guide to Orchestral Music"   by Phil Harmonic
                                        illustrated by Polly Phonic.
"The Complete Book Of Lasgana"          By Aieda
"The Commuter"                          By Jocelyn Train
"The Coffee Maker"                      By French Press
"The Coast Is Clear"                    By C. N. Eebuddy
"The Classic Monastery Painters"        By Art Monk
"The Chuck Berry Story"                 By Judy Frudy
"The Christmas Spirit"                  By Joy X. Noel
"The Chinese Rupture"                   By Wang Hang Lo
"The Chinese Population Explosion"      By Wee Fukum Jung
"The Chinaman With One Testicle"        by Wot Went Wong
"The Cavalryman"                        By Rhoda Norse
"The Cannibal's Daughter"               By Henrietta Mann
"The Candy Store"                       By Pepper Mintz
"The Calypso Band"                      By Lydia Dustbin
"The Burglar"                           By Robin Banks
"The Bullfighter"                       By Matt Adore
"The Building"                          By Eddy Fiss
"The Broken Window"                     By Eva Brick
"The Broken Strap"                      By Won Hung Lo
"The Bride's First Night"               By Peter B. Kyne
"The Bouncing Bullet"                   By Rick O'Shay
"The Bog"                               By Pete Maas
"The Blessing"                          By Benny Dixon
"The Bird Collection"                   By Arnie Thologie
"The Big Wave"                          By Sue Nami
"The Big Snitch"                        By Ima Telling
"The Big Parade"                        By Marsha Long
"The Big Cigar"                         By Smokey Stogie
"The Best Of Elmer Fudd"                By U. U. Wabbit
"The Bedpan Patrol"                     By B. M. Routine
"The Beach Bully"                       By Harry Ayp
"The Barber Of Seville"                 By Ray Zerr
"The Auto Salvage Business"             By Rex Toad
"The Art Of Sincerity"                  By Ernest Lee
"The Art Of Shoplifting"                By Phil Mypockets
"The Art Of Secret Dating"              By Rhonda Voo
"The Art of Jumping off Bridges"        by Sue Icide
"The Art Of Falling In Love"            by Q. Pidd
"The Arctic Ocean"                      By I. C. Waters
"The Anxious Moment"                    By R.U. Cummin
"The Angry Man"                         By T. Doff
"The American Legal System"             By Sue Someone
"The Adventures Of Win.Ini The Pooh"    By W. Gates
"The Accused"                           By Watts E. Dunn
"That's Life"                           By Cilla Vee
"That's A Ten-Four, Good Buddy"         By C. B. Radio
"That Was Quick!"                       By Wendy Dothat
"That Nagging Cough"                    By T. B. Carrier
"That Can't Be Right"                   By Shirley Nott
"Texas Sidewinder"                      By I. P. Crooked
"Ten Pins"                              By Mr. Strike
"Temper The Wind"                       By Sean Lamb
"Telltale Heart"                        By Stefi Scope
"Teenagers Of The '50's"                By Bobbie Sox
"Teen Mother"                           By Pasteur Period
"Tear Up Those Betting Slips"           By Lou Zerr
"Teaching Boys To Change Tires"         By Theresa Jackson
"Teach Me!"                             By I. Wanda Know
"Tea For Two"                           By Roland Butta
"Tape Another Channel"                  By David E. O. Recorder
"Talkative Japanese"                    By Terry Yaki
"Talk Is Cheap"                         By U. N. Envoy
"Taking A Long Vacation"                By Helen Back
"Take This Job And Shove It"            By Ike Witt
"Take Stock"                            By Russel Steers
"Take a Break!"                         By Colin Sick
"Tailoring"                             By Serge Soote
"Swimming In The Channel"               By Frances Near
"Swimming In The Arctic"                By I. C. Waters.
"Swedish Perfumeries"                   By Ole Factory
"Sweat Shop"                            By Hiram Cheap
"Surprised!"                            By Omar Gosh
"Superman's Vision"                     By C. X. Rayz
"Sunrise"                               by Don Pat Rolle
"Sunday Service"                        By Neil Downe
"Summer In The South"                   By A. Z. Hot-Humid
"Suicide Jump"                          By Hugo First
"Succeeding In Business"                By Mari "The Boss" Dawter
"Stunned Over Christmas"                By Holly Daze
"Strong Winds"                          By Gail Force
"String Instruments"                    By Viola Player
"Streaking"                             By Running Bear
"Strange Trails In The Sand"            By Peter Dragon
"Stranded On A Motorway"                By Buster Tyre
"Stories In The Future"                 By S. F. Writer
"Stop Arguing"                          By Xavier Breath
"Stomach Cramps"                        By Henrietta Greenapple
"Still Looking For My Heart"            By Sam Francisco
"Starting A Used Auto Parts Business"   by Rex Galore
"Star Spangled Barrio"                  By Jose Canusee
"Springtime"                            By Teresa Greene
"Spring"                                By April N. May
"Spots On The Wall"                     By Hoo Flung Dung
"Spoil The Child"                       By Molly Coddle
"Split Personalities"                   By Jacqueline Hyde
"Spies Like Us"                         By S. P. O'Nage
"Spanish Rupture"                       By Torres Balzoff
"Soviet Weapons"                        By Ay Kay Xlvii
"Soviet Venereal Disease"               By Itl Rotchakokoff
"Southern California Waffles"           By Sandy Eggo
"Southern California Pachyderms"        By L. A. Funt
"Sound As A Bell"                       By A. Clanger
"Sorry, You're Not My Type"             By R. H. Factor
"Sorry!"                                By Anna Poloji
"Songs From 'South Pacific'"            By Sam And Janet Evening
"Songs For Children"                    By Barbara Blacksheep
"Some Like it Sweet"                    By Sugar Kane
"Some Like It Hot"                      By Red Pepper
"Solving Crimes"                        By D. Tective
"Sofa so Good"                          By Chester Field
"Soda Pop History"                      By Ginger Aile
"Social Insecurity"                     By Wilma Moneylast
"Soak Your Ex-Husband"                  By Ali Money
"So You Want To Be A Farmer"            by E.I. Ohhe
"Snow Bound"                            by Ava Lanche
"Snorting My Way To Heaven"             By Angel Dust
"Snakes Of The World"                   By Anna Conda
"Smorgasbord"                           By Buffy Dinner
"Smoker's Cough"                        By Nick O'Teen
"Smell Of The Long Distance Runner"     By Jim Shorts (Sequal)
"Smash His Lobster!"                    By Buster Crabbe
"Smart Beer Making"                     By Bud Wiser
"Small Vegetables"                      By Russell Sprout
"Slowly Fades"                          By Peter Out
"Slip-Slidin' Away"                     By K. Y. Jellee
"Slimming"                              By Lena Boddy
"Slang From The Roaring Twenties"       By O. U. Kidd
"Skunks in the Shrubbery"               By P. Yew
"Sitting Is For Lazy People"            By Stan Dupp
"Singing Without An Orchestra"          By A. K. Pella
"Singing In The Rain"                   By Ivor Macintosh
"Singin' And Shakin'"                   By Oprah Tic Tenor
"Simple Mathematics"                    By Algy Brarr
"Simple Arithmetic"                     By Matthew Candu
"Silly Rabbit"                          By Trixie R. Forkids
"Shoes For Farm And Ranch"              By Claude Hopper
"Ships Of The Navy"                     By P. T. Bote
"Ships In Harbor"                       By Dr. Longside
"Ship Mysteries"                        By Marie Celeste
"Shhh!"                                 By Danielle Soloud
"Sharing Indian Beverages"              By T. Fatto
"Shaky Knees"                           By Cliff Diver
"Sexual Education"                      By Peter Goesinya
"Senior Prom"                           By Spike Drink
"Selling Autos"                         by Carlotta Deels
"Self-Made Man"                         By Peter Long
"Self Denial Made Easy"                 By Abner Gation
"See You In Phoenix!"                   By R. E. Zona
"Secrets"                               By Isadore Shutt
"Secrets Of The KKK"                    By Dewey, Lynch & Howe.
"Secrets Of Dermatology"                By X. Z. Mahh
"Seated Under The Bleachers"            By Seymore Sox
"Season Tickets"                        By Oprah Maven
"Sea Birds"                             By Al Batross
"Sculpting The Gods Of Greece And Rome  By Jove
"Scuffed Floors"                        By Mark Tupp
"Screams In The Night"                  By Claude Balls
"Scrambled Eggs"                        By Humpty Dumpty
"Scottish Kilt Patterns"                By Glen Pladd
"Scots In The Desert"                   By Lorna Dune
"Science Fiction Stories"               By E. T. Fonehome
"School Reader"                         By C. Dick & Jane Run
"Schmaltz"                              By Maude Len
"Scandinavian Photography"              By Matt Finnish
"Say The Magic Word"                    By Abby Cadabra
"Sandpapers Of The West"                By Tex Ture
"Salad Dressings"                       By Myra Culwhip
"Sailor Beware"                         By Don Bendover
"Sado-Masochism in Russia"              by Borris Torreskokov
"Sadistic Sex"                          By Nora Bone
"Rusty Bedsprings"                      By I.P. Nightly
"Rustle In The Bushes"                  By Izzie Honor
"Russian's Revenge"                     By Hoyoudon Kutchercockoff
"Russian Tennis Shoes"                  By Ivan Odor
"Russian Lover"                         By Nibblar Titsov
"Russian Castration"                    By I. Bitchyakokoff
"Ruptured Chinaman"                     By Wun Hung Lo
"Running"                               By Tyrone Shulas
"Runaways"                              by Miss Inga Pearl Sohn
"Rules of Pool"                         by Bill Yard
"Rules For Living"                      By Sharon Sharalike
"Round the World"                       By Madge Ellen
"Round The Mountain"                    By Sheila B. Cummin
"Rooster's Mistake"                     By Rhoda Duck
"Rollercoasters"                        by John T. Ride
"Roger Wilco"                           By A. O. Kaye
"Rodent In The House!"                  By E. K. Mouse
"Rocks Ahead"                           By Vera Way
"Rock Music Of The 60's"                By C. C. Rider
"Robots"                                By Anne Droid
"Robotics Handbook"                     By A. I. Expert
"Road Transport"                        By Laurie Driver
"Rip In The Matress"                    By Mr. Completely
"Ringing Wet"                           By Belinda Water
"Riel Ambush!"                          By May T. Surprise
"Rich People"                           By Belle Yenere
"Revenge of the Jungle Tiger            By Claude Balls
"Return Of The Prodigal Son"            By Gladys Back
"Republican Eliminations"               By G. O. Pee
"Repent At Leisure"                     By Marion Hayste
"Rent, Don't Buy, Your Vehicle"         By Lisa Carr
"Renowned Chefs"                        By Janice Cooks
"Reminiscence"                          By Ira Member
"Religion"                              By Abel Lever
"Red Vegetables * Volume 2"             By B. Troot
"Red Vegetables * Volume 1"             By Tom A. Toe
"Red In The Face"                       By U. V. Index
"Reconstructive Breast Surgery"         By Dr. Syl I. Cohen, MD
"Recipes Of The Frontier"               By Chuck Wagon
"Recipes for Hot Salsa"                 by Hal Apeno
"Ready...Set..."                        By Sadie Word
"Rash Decisions I Have Made"            By X. M. Ah
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel!"                   By Harris Long
"Rape In The Gas Station                By Who Pumped Ethyl
"Rangers In The Night"                  By Forrest Fyar
"Raising Flowers By Hand"               By Flo Wrist
"Racketeering"                          By Dennis Court
"Quoting Hamlet"                        By Maureen Soroth, Annie Nanga
"Quips For The Young At Heart"          By Marty Pants
"Quick And Hot"                         By T. V. Dinner
"Questions From an Italian Taylor"      by Euripides
"Put'er There, Pal!"                    By Greg Garious
"Put Some Fizz Back In Your Life"       By F. R. Vessant
"Punk Rock Rulez!"                      By Lotta Noyze
"Punctuation"                           By Graham Matt Ekall
"Pull Yourself Together!"               By Annette Curtain
"Pull With All You've Got!"             By Eve Ho
"Publishing"                            By Maggie Zeene
"Psyche Of A Voyeur"                    By I. C. Hue
"Proof Positive!"                       By Q. E. Dee
"Programming Styles"                    By Dee Bugit,
                                        Edited By Stil Mohrbugs
"Programming in C++"                    by I.O. Stream
"Professional Boxing"                   By I. C. Stars
"Proctology Made Easy"                  By N.D. Rhear
"Principles Of Criminal Justice"        By Lauren Order
"Primitive Transport"                   By Orson Cart
"Prevent Drowning"                      By Buddy System
"Pretty Baby"                           By A.Dora Bull
"Pressure Relief"                       By Korsetsov
"Preparing Leather"                     By Tanya Hyde
"Preparing For Your Speling Be"         By Dan Quail
"Prepare To Meet Your Maker"            By Eva DeStruction
"Prehistoric Reptiles"                  By Dinah Soar And Terry Dactyl
"Prehistoric Finds"                     By B. C. Calendar
"Preaching To Hell's Angels"            By Pastor Redlight
"Prayers For Children"                  By Cindy Skool
"Practical Proctology"                  By Bea Hind
"Powerful Drinks"                       By Micky Finn
"Post-Script"                           By Adeline Extra
"Positive Reinforcement"                By Wade Ago
"Popping The Big One"                   By Mary Mepleeze
"Political Correctness"                 By Noah Fence
"Poisonous Plants"                      By Dudley Nightshade
"Poetry In Baseball"                    By Homer.
"Plumbers"                              By Dwain Cloggz
"Plumb Good"                            By Dwayne Pipe
"Playing With The Christmas Fire"       By Yule B. Sari
"Play It Safe"                          By Justin Case
"Pirate Secrets"                        By Barry Deloot
"Pilgrim Settlers"                      By May Flower
"Phillipine Post Office"                By Imelda Letter
"Perverted Mushrooms"                   By M. Morel
"Personal House Construction"           By Bill Jerome Home
"Personal Best"                         By Marco Destinction
"Perry Mason's Last Case"               By D. A. Zoffuss
"Performing The Perfect Murder"         By O J Simpson
"Perfect Cooking"                       By Chris P. Bacon
"Perfect Agreement"                     By C. I. Tu'ai
"Pentagon Press Release"                By Colonel O'Truth and Lotta Lies
"Peeping Tom"                           By Sawyer Scanties
"Peek-A-Boo"                            By I. C. Hugh
"Peace Mission"                         By Olive Branch
"PC Board Repairman"                    By Solder Medic
"Pay Toilets"                           By Johnny Cash
"Pasta"                                 By Liz Onya
"Party On, Dude"                        By Jill Out
"Parting Shots"                         By Sid Semper Tyrannis
"Paree', I Give My Life To Thee"        By Ben Eaten
"Parachuting"                           By Hugo First
"Paper Commodities"                     by Scott Owls
"Painting Walls"                        By Matt Coats
"Pain Relief"                           By Ann L. Gesick
"Pain Killers"                          By N. L. Gesic
"Pain In My Body"                       By Otis Leghurts
"Pain And Sorrow"                       By Anne Guish
"Oxygen"                                By Aaron Breath
"Overweight Vegetables"                 By O. Beets
"Overcoming Nervousness On Radio"       By Mike Fright
"Over The Cliff'                        By Hugo First
"Outdoor Cookery"                       By Barbie Cue
"Outdoor Activities"                    By Alf Resco
"Our Private Honeymoon"                 By Tonya Harding
"Ouch!"                                 By A. B. Stung
"Oriental Relaxation Wear"              By Kim Ono
"Oral Delights"                         By Connie Lingus
"Options Trading"                       By June Gold
"Open Kimono"                           By Seymore Hair
"One Hundred Years Old"                 By Abbie Birthday
"On The Cover"                          By G. Q. Model
"On The Beach"                          By C. Shaw
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service"       By M. I. Five
"On Bended Knee"                        By Neil Down
"Old MacDonald's Farm"                  By E. I. Eeyioh
"Okee Dokee"                            By Roger Wilco
"Oh What A Relief It Is"                By Al Kaseltzer
"Off To Market"                         By Tobias A. Pigg
"Nuts"                                  By P. Kahn
"Nuts About You!"                       By Cy Cosis
"Nuclear Power Bafflement"              By Ken Fusion
"Nuclear Explosives"                    By Adam Baum
"Now I'm In Business!"                  By M. B. Yay
"Nothing To Chirp About"                By K. D. Didd
"Not So Hot"                            By Luke Warm
"Not Saved By The Bell!"                By T. K. Ohh
"Not Getting Enough Sleep?"             By Drew P. Ize
"Not Bogged Down In Reality"            By Jason Rainbows
"Not A Moment To Spare"                 By B. N. Time
"Not A Guitar!"                         By Amanda Lin
"Northern Drives"                       By I.C. Rhodes
"Nordic Groundskeepers"                 By Leif Raker
"Noisy Nights"                          By Constance Norah
"Noise is Forbidden!"                   By Nada Loud
"Nobel Prize Cannibals"                 By Laurie Ate
"No"                                    By Kurt Reply
"No More Circuit Breakers!"             By Ira Fuse
"No Children Please!"                   By P. G. Thirteen
"Nixon's Watergate Story"               By Ima Crook
"Nitpicker's Guide To Star Trek"        By C. A. Flaw
"Nice Hotels"                           By Mary Ott
"NHL Hockey"                            By Stanley Kupp
"New Mexico Tour Book"                  By Albie Kerky
"New In Town?"                          By L. O. Saylor
"Never Get Lost"                        By Reed Demapp
"Neither A Borrower"                    By Nora Lender Bee
"Neat Shirts"                           By Preston Ironed
"Naval Recruitment Slogans"             By C. D. World
"Naughty Movies"                        By X. X. Ecks
"Mystery In The Barnyard"               By Hoo Flung Dung
"My Seventh Husband"                    By Ivana Newhouse
"My Most Embarrassing Moment"           By Lucy Lastik
"My Lost Causes"                        By Noah Veil
"My Life With Horowitz"                 By Paige Turner
"My Life With Annette"                  By Amos Kateer
"My Life On Skid Row"                   By Titus A. Drum
"My Life Of Poverty"                    By Ivana Trump
"My Life In The Gutter"                 By Yves Trough
"My Life In Crime"                      By Upton O. Goode
"My Life As A Cowboy"                   By Brandon Steers
"My Happiest Day"                       By Trudy Light
"My Girlfriend Wants To Drive My Car"   By Willy Letter
"My Exciting Life"                      By Frank Lee Boring
"My Desert Crossing"                    By I. Rhoda Camel
"My Dad's A Mortician"                  By Phil Degraves
"My Career As A Clown"                  By Abe Ozo
"My Boring Career"                      By A. Driller
"Musical Gunfighters"                   By The Okay Chorale
"Music Of The Sea"                      By Lawrence Whelk
"Music Of Handel"                       By Aaron G. String
"Moving Day"                            By Ivor Newhouse
"Mountain Climbing"                     By Andover Hand
"Motors"                                by Jen R Ator
"Mosquito Bites"                        By Ivan Itch
"Mortal Enemies"                        By U. I. Cantstand
"Morning Radio"                         By A. M. Effem
"Morning Call"                          By R. U. Upjohn
"More Stupid Jokes"                     By Hugh E. Diots
"More For Your Money"                   By Max Amize
"More Beard Than Music"                 By Z. Z. Topp
"Monsters"                              By Frank N. Stein
"Monkey Shines"                         By Bob Boone
"Monkey Cage"                           By Jim Panzee
"Money Management"                      By Owen Cash
"Modern Tree Watches"                   By Anna Log
"Modern Exercise"                       By Jim Nasium
"Model Train Fanatics"                  By H. O. Scale
"Mobile Homes"                          By Winnie Bago
"Misunderstood"                         By Art Tistic
"Miss Demeaner"                         By Park Flasher
"Miracle Drug"                          By Penny Cillin
"Mineralogy for Giants"                 By Chris Tall
"Military Rule"                         By Marshall Law
"Military Life"                         By Private Parts,
                                        Corporal Punishment,
                                        Major Problem, Coronel O'Corn,
                                        And General Condition.
"Military Fast"                         By Colonel O'Corn
"Military Defeats"                      By Major Disaster & General Mayhem
"Midnight Patrol"                       By Hugo Sair
"Middle Eastern Sandwich Recipes"       by Pete Abread
"Mexican/Italian Food"                  By Pepe Roney
"Mexican Revenge"                       By Monty Zuma
"Mental Giants"                         By I. Q. Test
"Mensa Man"                             By Gene Yuss
"Meeting Places"                        By Ron Devoo
"Medicine and Surgery for Lawyers"      by A.J. Buzzard
"Medically Soothing Beverages"          By Dr. Pepper
"Medical Procedures"                    By N. G. Ogram
"Meat Eaters"                           By Carney Vore
"Measles Collision!"                    By Kay Rash
"Meals On Safari"                       By Lionel Eecha
"May Flowers"                           By April Showers
"Masterpieces Of Fox TV"                By Annette Work
"Mastering Customer Service"            by Howie Dooin
"Maritime Rules"                        By Paula See
"Maritime Disasters"                    By Andrea Doria
"Marine Mammal Communication"           By C. L. Barking
"Mardi Gras Time"                       By Lou Isiana
"Many Are Cold, But Few Are Frozen"     By Minnie Sota
"Manana"                                By Stew Layt
"Management Skills:  Choosing The Top Applicant"  By Hiram T. Day
"Male Anatomy"                          By Hugh G. Rection
"Making Explosives"                     By Stan Wellback
"Making Crime Pay                       By Robin Steal
"Make Your Marriage Work"               By Stan Byerman
"Make Your Home Secure"                 By Havelock Smith
"Make Up Your Mind"                     By Dee Side
"Make The Ceiling Higher!"              By Y. C. Stars
"Make Money Fast!"                      by Robin U. Blinde
"Make 'em Laugh"                        By Joe King
"Magnetism"                             by Torrid Hertz
"Magic"                                 By Howie Dussit
"Mad Dash To The Outhouse"              By Willie Maykit,
                                        Illustrated By Betty Dont
                                        Cover By Andy Did
"MacArthur's Triumph"                   By V. J. Daye
"Love Under The Bleachers"              By Seymour Butz
"Love Thy Own Self"                     By O.E. Pullit And Howie Pullit
"Lousy American Cars"                   By G. M. Clunker
"Lotsa Luck"                            By Bess Twishes
"Lots of Excitement"                    By Hugh N. Cry
"Lost"                                  by A.P. Bea Owt
"Lose Weight Now"                       By Y. B. Phatt
"Los Angeles Pachyderms"                By L.A. Funt
"Lord Of The Flies"                     By Beelze Bul
"Look, Up In The Sky!"                  By C. H. Etplane
"Look Younger"                          By Fay Slift
"Look Ma, No Thumbs!"                   By Justice Fingers
"Long Way Down"                         By Rip Cord Broke
"Long Walk"                             By Miss D. Bus
"London Bridge Is Falling Down..."      By U. K. Tourist
"Loan Sharking Made Easy"               By I. O. Yew
"Live Large"                            By Maurice Beta
"Little Fishes"                         By Anne Chovey
"Little Bitty Froggies"                 By Tad Pole
"Liking Yourself"                       By Iza Goodguy
"Light Brown Hair"                      By Audrey Mauve Jeannie
"Lifesaving Techniques"                 By C. P. Arr
"Life!"                                 by K Sarah Cerra
"Life Six Feet Under"                   By Doug Graves
"Life Of A Grasshopper"                 By Kate E Didd
"Life In The Sorority House"            By Carrie Onn
"Life In The Eastern United States"     By Della Weyer And Flora Daw,
                                        Illustrated By Virginia Ann Mayne
"Life In General"                       By D.O.Poohead
"Life in Chicago"                       By Wendy City
"Life Before The Civil War"             By Aunty Bellum
"Life Before Cars"                      By Orson Buggy
"Life As A Skunk"                       By Pep P. Lee Phew
"Life As A Comic"                       By Stan Dupp
"Lewis Carroll"                         By Alison Wonderland
"Let's Play Billiards"                  By A. Q. Ball
"Let's Do it Now!"                      By Igor Beaver
"Less Than A Quarter"                   By Nicola Dime
"Leo Tolstoy"                           By Warren Peace
"Legumes"                               By P. Nutt
"Lazy Employees"                        By Hans Doolittle
"Lawyers Of Suffering"                  By Grin And Barrett
"Lawyers' Guide to High Earnings"       by Susan Wins & Bill Padder
"Lawrence Welk In China"                By Anna Wong, Anna Tieu
"Lawn Care"                             By Ray King
"Law For The Common Man"                By Dewey, Cheatim And Howe
"Law And Order"                         By Copsand Roberts
"Laughing In The White House"           By Polly Tickle
"Latin Dances For Sheep"                By Sam Baa
"Late Nights"                           By S. A. Due
"Late Again"                            By Misty Buss
"Last Roundup"                          By Brandon Irons
"Land Of Plenty"                        By Alison Ann Moore
"Laid Off!"                             By Gwen Home
"Lady Pirate"                           By Peg Legg
"Lady Godiva"                           By Honour Whitesteed
"Knocking Your Funny Bone"              By Lord Howard Hertz
"King Kong"                             By Hugh Jape
"Kindergarten Kop II"                   By Bea Hayve
"Kidnapped"                             By Caesar Quick
"Keeping The Peace"                     By Lorne Order
"Keeping Old Furniture Looking Good"    By Ann Teak
"Keep Them In Suspense"                 By Toby Continued
"Keep Out!"                             By Barb Dwyer
"Keep it Clean!"                        By Armand Hammer
"Keep 'em That Way"                     By Private Parts
"Kangaroo Illnesses"                    By Marcus Wallaby, M.D.
"Justice in the States"                 by W.F. Swindler
"Just Say No"                           By Will Power
"Junkyards Of The World"                By R. X. Taken
"Jungle Fever"                          By Amos Quito
"Judging Fast Food"                     By Warren Berger
"Joys Of Parachuting"                   By Hugo First
"Joys Of Exhibitionism"                 By Thay C. Mie
"Joys Of Cowardice"                     By Lily Livard
"Journey Across The Desert"             By Mustapha Kamel
"Jokes For All Occasions"               By U. Y. Sky
"Jogging"                               By By Ron Around
"Joe Wins At A Track Meet"              By C. Howie Runns
"Jewish Mysticism"                      By Lev Itation
"Jewish Holidays"                       By Hannah Kuhh
"Jewish Egotists"                       By Chaim Wonderful
"Jazz Music"                            By Tenna Saxe
"James Fenimore Cooper"                 By Lester Moe Hickens
"It's Unfair!"                          By Y. Me
"It's Springtime!"                      By Theresa Green
"It's Magic!"                           By Sven Gali
"It's All In Your Head"                 By Madge Ination
"It's All In The Wrist"                 By R. M. Wrestle
"It's A Shocker"                        By Alec Tricity
"It's A Holdup!"                        By Nick R. Elastic
"Italian Food * Volume 3"               By Minnie Stroni
"Italian Food * Volume 2"               By Manny Kotty
"Italian Food * Volume 1"               By Lynn Guini
"Italian Delicacies"                    By Liz Onya
"Italian Cuisine"                       By Ravi Oley
"Italian Cooking"                       By Mac Aroni
"It Won't Work!"                        By Mel Function
"It Was Him!"                           By Zoe Didit
"It Pays To Advertise"                  By Bill Sticker
"It Aids Recovery"                      By T. L. See
"Is That It?"                           By Annie Moore
"Is O. J. Guilty?"                      by Howard I. Know
"Is It Love?"                           By Midas Wellbee
"Irish Flooring"                        By Lynn O'Leum
"Irish First Aid"                       By R.U. O'Kaye
"Irish Dentistry"                       By Perry O'Dontal
"Investigating Optometrists"            By F. B. Eye
"Interior Decorating"                   By Curt Enrod
"Inside a Nike Shoe Factory"            by Hiram Cheap
"Inner Psyche"                          by Piers Sonia Leety
"Influenza"                             By Mike Robe
"Inflammation, Please!"                 By Arthur Itis
"Indiana Jones' Adventures"             By Darrin Rescue
"Indian/Italian Cuisine"                By Ravi Oley
"Income Tax Time"                       By U. O. Money
"In Year One"                           By A. D. Calendar
"In The Trenches"                       By Helmut Wearer
"In The Round File"                     By Chuck Kitt
"In the Arctic Ocean"                   By Isa Berg
"In Farmer Macgregor's Garden"          By Peter Abbott
"Improve Your Vision"                   By Dr. I. C. Betta
"Imitating Mozart"                      By Sam Phony
"I'm Someone Else"                      By Ima Nonymous
"I'm Scared!"                           By Emma Fraid
"I'm Not Getting Older, I'm Getting Better!" By I. H. Tenyears
"I'm Not Choosy"                        By N. E. Buddy
"I'm Not A Happy Camper!"               By Malcolm Tent
"I'm Fine"                              By Howard Yu
"I'm An Atheist"                        By Noel Noheaven
"I'm Always Hungry"                     By O. B. City
"Illicit Sea Bird Activities"           By L. E. Gull
"I'll Follow"                           By Hugo First
"If I Invited Him..."                   By Woody Kum
"If I Had The Chance"                   By L. I. Wood
"Ideas"                                 By Theo Rhett Ichz
"Ideal Husband"                         By John Henry Everhard
"I Wuz Robbed!"                         By Alma Money
"I Wuz Framed!"                         By Gil Tee
"I Work With Diamonds"                  By Jules Sparkle
"I Win!"                                By U. Lose
"I Was The Engineer For The Barbershop Quartet"  By Mike Mixer
"I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer"            By Rich Kidd
"I Was a Cloakroom Attendant"           By Mahatma Coate
"I Want To Help"                        By Abel N. Willin
"I Swing For The Pitcher"               By D. H. Batter
"I Shot An Arrow In The Air"            By R. G. Rhee
"I Shoot Arrows"                        By Anne Archer
"I Scream, You Scream..."               By D. Q. Restaurant
"I Say So!"                             By Frank O. Pinion
"I Read You Like A Book"                By Claire Voyant
"I Need Insurance"                      By Justin Case
"I Must Fix The Car!"                   By Otto Doit
"I Love You!"                           By Alma Hart
"I Love Wills"                          By Benny Fishery
"I Love Mathematics"                    By Adam Up
"I Love Fractions"                      By Lois C. Denominator
"I Love Crowds"                         By Morris Merrier
"I Love Bullfighting"                   By Matt Adore
"I Lost My Balance"                     By Phil Down
"I Lived In Detroit"                    By Helen Earth
"I Like Weeding Gardens"                By Manuel Labour
"I Like Liquor"                         By Ethyl Alcohol
"I Like Fish"                           By Ann Chovie
"I Like Coffee"                         By Duncan Doughnuts
"I Laugh At The Gods!"                  By Hugh Briss
"I Killed Cock Robin!"                  By R. S. T'me
"I Keep Falling Down"                   By D. Z. Person
"I Just Had A Feeling"                  By Claire Voyant
"I Hit The Wall"                        By Isadore There
"I Hate The Sun"                        By Gladys Knight
"I Hate Monday Mornings"                By Gaetan Oop
"I Hate Fighting"                       By Boris Hell
"I Got A New Car"                       By D. U. Care
"I Fell Off The Brooklyn Bridge"        By Ilene Dover
"I Dropped The Hammer"                  By O. L. Myfoot
"I Don't Think So"                        by Betty Don't
"I Don't Believe This!"                 By L. U. Say
"I Disagree With That!"                 By N. A. Sayer
"I Didn't Do It!"                       By Y. M. Eyehere
"I Didn't Do It!"                       By Ivan Alibi
"I Coulda Been A Contender"             By K. O. Boxer
"I Can't See The Difference"            By Sam Ting
"I Can Fix It"                          By Jerry Rigg
"I Beat Bobby Fischer"                  By Jess Player
"I Am Tired"                            By Anita Rest
"I Am Someone Else"                     By Ima Nonymous
"I Am Scared!"                          By Emma Fraid
"I Am Hopelessly Lost"                  By Wareham I. Now
"Hypnotism"                             By N. Tranced
"Hunger In America"                     By Heywood Jafeedme
"Humor"                                 By Joe King
"Humanity"                              by Mort Allz
"How We Got To Bethlehem"               By Don Keys
"How To Write Letters"                  By Adiline Moore
"How To Write A Will"                   By Ben E. Factor
"How To Write A Term Paper"             By Al Niter
"How To Tune Up Your Auto"              By Carl Humm
"How To Tour The Prison"                By Robin Steele
"How To Tell The Future"                By Chris Taball
"How To Talk Good"                      By I. I. Stutter
"How To Take Afternoon Naps"            By P. M. Snooze
"How to Succeed in School"              By Rita Book
"How To Slow Down Your Computer"        By M. S. Windoze
"How To Sing"                           By Carrie O. Key
"How To Serve Mankind"                  By Chef  Ummgud
"How To Reply Without Committing Yourself" By K. G. Answer
"How To Relieve Pain"                   By Ann L. Gesick
"How To Reduce A Fat Woman"             By Ryder Moore
"How To Recognize Poisonous Plants In The Wild" By Ivan Awfulitch
"How To Read A Book"                    By Paige Turner
"How to Raise Cattle"                   by Beau Vine
"How To Quench Your Children's Thirst"  By Susan Smith
"How to Overcome Stress"                By R.E. Lachs
"How To Make Honey"                     By B. A. Beaman
"How to Make Festive Christmas Decorations"   by Holly Berry
"How To Make Cornmeal Pancakes"         By Johnny Cake
"How To Make A Tourniquet"              By Hank R. Schiff
"How To Make A Million"                 by N.Odette Snowe
"How To Lose Weight"                    By X. R. Sizemore
"How To Lie And Get Away With It"       By B. S. Artist
"How To Keep Your Conference On Topic"  By Mod R. Ator
"How To Have Fun"                       By Meryl Lee
"How To Handle Nitroglycerine"          By E. C. Duzzit
"How To Go Dutch On A Plane"            By K. L. Emm
"How To Go Broke Fast"                  By B. X. Travagant
"How To Get Rich Quick"                 By Robin Banks, Jack Potts,
                                         & Kermit Grimes
"How To Get Attention"                  By A. U. Overthere
"How To Fix A TV Set"                   By Yul B. Sorry
"How to Draw"                           By Ellis Strait
"How To Deal With The Media"            By P. R. Department
"How To Cut Grass"                      By Lon Moore
"How to Cook a Steak"                   By Porter House
"How To Break In"                       By Jimmy De Lock
"How To Boast Successfully"             By Ivor Biggun
"How To Become Famous"                  By M. N. Ent
"How To Beat A Murder Rap"              By Scott Free
"How To Be Noticed"                     By Stan Dout
"How To Be A Vague Soldier"             By General Lee
"How To Be A Lumberjack"                By Tim Burr
"How To Be A Con Artist"                By E. Z. Money
"How to Avoid Food Poisoning"           by Sam O'Nella
"How To Avoid Drug Dealers"             By Groyer Owndope
"How To Apologize"                      By Thayer Thorry
"How To Annoy"                          By Aunt Agonize
"How To Address An Audience"            By M. C. Speaker
"How The Internet Has Enriched My Life" By Whine N. Hack
"How Radio Works"                       By Anne Tenna
"How I Won The Marathon"                By Randy Hoelway
"How I Got Rich"                        By Jack Potts
"How I Creamed Russia"                  By Ivan Jakinoff
"Housing Problem"                       By Rufus Quick
"Housework"                             By Dustin Cook
"Household Hints"                       by Eunice A Spott
"House Plants"                          By Clay Potts
"House Construction"                    By Bill Jerome Holme
"Hot Under The Collar"                  By X. O. Thermic
"Hot Stuff!"                            By K. N. Pepper
"Hot Dog!"                              By Frank Furter
"Hooker"                                By Wanna Bawl
"Hong's Life Story"                     By His Hung Low.
"Home, Sweet Home"                      By A. Bachelor
"Home of the Liberty Bell"              By Phil A. Delphia
"Home Decorating"                       By Matt Emulsion
"Home Alone III, The Sequel"            By Annie Buddyhome
"Holmes Does It Again"                  By Scott Linyard
"Hollywood Gossip"                      By Phyllis Zinn
"Hole In The Bed"                       By Mr. Completely
"Hockey For Grandparents"               By Jerry Hattrick
"Hiya Fella"                            By Gladys Eeya
"Hitler's Beaten"                       By V. E. Daye
"Hit Below The Belt"                    By Lord Howitt Hertz
"History Of Professional Football"      By N. F. Ell
"History Of Professional Basketball"    By N. B. Yay
"History Of Exxon"                      By Phil Errup
"History Of Borden's Dairy Products"    By L. C. Decow
"His Girl Thursday"                     By Herman Friday
"Highway Travel"                        By Dusty Rhodes
"He's Contagious!"                      By Lucas Measles
"Hertz, Don't It?"                      By Lisa Carr
"Hernia"                                By Wung Hung Hai And Wung Hung Lo.
"Here's Pus In Your Eye"                By Lance Boyle
"Herbally Yours"                        By Penny Royal
"Held Hostage by Italian Terrorists!"   By Aldo Anything
"Health For Life"                       By Don B. Sikk
"Head Of Security"                      By Barb Dwyer
"He Disappeared!"                       By Otto Sight
"Hazardous Driving"                     By I. C. Rhodes
"Hawaiian Love Song"                    By Comonwiwanalayya
"Have Fun At The Hospital!"             By N. M. Uhh
"Harvesting Wild Plants"                By Dudley Nightshade
"Happy New Year!"                       By Mary Christmas
"Handling Your Emotions"                By Mel. N. Collie
"Handicapping Horseraces"               by Winn Pace Shuo
"Handel's Messiah"                      By Ollie Luyah
"Handbook Of Great Art"                 By B. U. Teeful
"Hand It All Over!"                     By I. R. Ess
"Halloween Activities"                  By Bob N. Forapples
"Hair Styles"                           By Bobby Pin
"Gunslingers With Gas"                  By Wyatt Urp
"Guide To Mixology"                     By Bart Ender
"Guide to California"                   by Anna Heim
"Guarding The Door"                     By Sergeant Atarms
"Gretna Green"                          By Marion Secret
"Greeting Sheep Strangers"              By Hugh R. Ewe
"Green Lawn Chairs"                     By Patty O'Furniture
"Greek Unbeliever!"                     By Hera Tick
"Great Tennis Matches"                  By Davis Skupp
"Great New York City Hotels"            By S. X. House
"Great Men Named Gene"                  By Imagene Tu
"Great Jazz Pianists"                   By U. B. Blake
"Greasy Spoon"                          By Chris Coe
"Grave Mistakes"                        By Paul Bearer
"Grain"                                 By Ryan Dotes
"Good Works"                            By Ben Evolent
"Good Steak!"                           By T. Bone
"Good Housekeeping"                     By Lottie Dust
"Good For A Placemat"                   By B. A. Degree
"Gone With The Wind"                    By George Uh
"Gone Fishing"                          By Rod Annette
"Golly Gosh!"                           By G. Whiz
"Golfer's Sandwich"                     By B. L. Tee
"Golfer's Caffeine Source"              By T. T. Hott
"Going Ape"                             By Bab Boone
"Go Away!"                              By Ron Onhome
"Girl On A Budget"                      By Penny Pincher
"Ginger Vs. Mary Ann, You Decide!"      By S. S. Minnow
"Getting Into Debt"                     By I. O. Lots
"Getting Even"                          By Lorena Bobbitt
"Getting Away With Arson"               By Bea Atf
"Get Up, Lazybones"                     By Y. R. Yewsleeping
"Get To The Point!"                     By Rhonda Bout
"Get Out There!"                        By Sally Forth
"Get Moving, Slowpoke!"                 By Harriet Upp
"Get Moving!"                           By Sheik Aleg
"Get In Shape!"                         By P. E. Class
"Genie In A Bottle"                     By Grant Wishes
"Geez, It's Hot!"                       By Mike Hammeldyed
"Gay Life in America"                   by Ben Dover,
                                        with a Foreward by Phil Ashio
"Gas Stations"                          By Phil Erupp
"Garlic Gone Bad"                       By D. K. Stinky
"Gardening"                             by Tom Mato
"Gardening With The Ex-President"       By Rose Bush
"Gangway!"                              By Hedda Steam
"Game Laws for 1917"                    by G.A. Lawyer
"Gambling"                              By Monty Carlos
"Funny Astronomy Texts"                 By Alma Jest
"Fundamentals Of T'ai Ch'i Chuan"       By Amanda Rekkinwitt
"Fundamentals Of Dermatology"           By Lance Boyle, M.D.
"Fun Times In The Sleeping Bag"         By Nap Sack
"Fun On The Mattress"                   By Master Bates
"Full Moon"                             By Seymour Buns
"Fried Chicken"                         By Ken Tucky
"French Overpopulation"                 By Francis Crowded
"French Cousine"                        By Sue Flay
"French Cheeses"                        By Cam M. Bert
"French Cars"                           By Myra Neault
"Fred Can Philosophize!"                By Immanuel Kant
"Frankenstein Meets Dracula"            By Horace Tory
"Fortune Telling"                       By Crystal Ball
"Forest Sojourns"                       By Syl Vann And Piney Woods
"Fore!"                                 By I. T. Off
"Foot Problems of Big Lumberjacks"      By Paul Bunion
"Foot Coverings"                        By Susan Socks
"Fly By Night Gift Distribution"        By S. Claus
"Flogging in the Army"                  By Corporal Punishment
"Flips And Tumbles"                     By Jim Nastics
"Flatulence For The Thin"               By F.A.R.T Allthetime
"Fixing Computer Programs"              By Dee Bugger
"Fitted Carpets"                        By Walter Wall
"Fistfights"                            By Donny Brooke
"Fish Story"                            By Rod Enreel
"First Step To French Fries"            By P. L. Potatoes
"First Aid For Kids"                    By O. O. Owie
"Fire Me Up!"                           By Matt Chez
"Finger Play"                           By Jacob Sladder
"Find Another Lonely Heart"             By Q. Pid
"Filters"                               by Crystal N. Ductance
"Fill In The Box"                       By Mark Detest
"Fibs I've Told"                        By Liza Little
"Fences"                                By Barb Dwyer
"Feelings"                              By Cara Lott
"Favorite Sleepwear"                    By P. J. Bottoms
"Favorite Sandwiches"                   By P. B. Enjam
"Fat Lady In The Sideshow"              By Ellie Funt
"Fastest Gun In The West"               By Everett Deready
"Fashion Models"                        By Q. T. Pye
"Fancy Light Fixtures"                  By Sean D'Olier
"Famous Nursery Rhymes"                 By Pat E. Cake
"Falling Trees'                         By Tim Burr
"Fallen Underwear"                      By Lucy Lastic
"Fade Away"                             By Peter Out
"Ex-Presidential Retreat"               By Kenny Bunkport
"Explosives Made Easy * Vol II"         By Click N. Boom
"Explosives Made Easy * Vol I"          By Stan Wellback
"Explosive Beverages"                   By T. N. Tee
"Exploring The Dutch Frontier"          By Will Der Ness
"Explaining It Better"                  By Clara Fie
"Expensive Universities"                By I. V. League
"Exotic Irish Plants"                   By Phil O'Dendron
"Exercise On Wheels"                    By Cy Kling
"Exercise For Pleasure"                 By Charlie Haws
"Everything Explained"                  By Kitt N. Caboodle
"Everything But.." travelogue compiled  by Kitt Chance Inc
"Everyone's After Me!"                  By Y. E. Farthead
"Everyone Needs A Gun!"                 By N. R. Ray
"Everyday Repairs"                      By Pat Chupp
"Events In The Soviet Union"            By Perry Stroika
"Errors and Accidents"                  By Miss Takes and Miss Haps
"Equine Leg Cramps"                     By Charlie Horse
"English Breakfast"                     By Chris P. Bacon And Ann Negg
"Enforcing Discipline In The Army"      By M. P. Copps
"Encyclopedia Of Poisons"               By R. C. Nick
"Encounter With A Skunk"                By P. U. Reek
"En Garde!"                             By Drew Blood
"Employment Handbook"                   By Ernie Living
"Embarrassing Infectious Diseases"      By V. D. Clinic
"Elevator Maintenance"                  By Upson Downs
"Elementary Mathematics"                By Won Tu Fee
"Electrical Wiring Made Easy"           By A. C. Deesey
"EEC Strict Liability in 1992"          By D.E. THIEFfry
"Echinoderms"                           By C. Q. Cumber And C. Lily
"Ecclesiastical Infractions"            By Cardinal Sin
"Eating Disorders"                      By Anna Rexia
"Easy Listening"                        By F. M. Radio
"East Coast Universities"               By Cora Nell
"East Coast Resorts"                    By Nan Tuckett
"Early History Of The Beatles"          By P. S. Iluvya
"Dwelling Places Of Some Native Americans" By T. P. Tent
"Dumb African Animals"                  By Zany Zebra
"Dull Razor"                            By Nick Shaving
"Dull Pain"                             By A. King
"Drunk And Disorderly"                  By Honour Bender
"Drums And Trumpets"                    By Major Headache
"Drummed To Death"                      By Tom Tomb
"Drink No More!"                        By A. A. Member
"Draughts"                              By Isadora Jarr
"Drafted!"                              By Abel Boddeed
"Downpour!"                             By Wayne Dwops
"Down The Flagpole"                     By Dick Burns
"Down South"                            By Louise Yanner
"Don't Wake The Baby"                   By Elsie Cries
"Don't Tread On Me"                     By Amanda B. Reckonwith
"Don't Give Up"                         By Percy Vere
"Don't Fence Me In"                     By Bob Wire
"Don't Do Anything Rash"                By Jacques Itch
"Don't Ask Me"                          By Howard I. Know
"Dog's Dinner"                          By Nora Bone
"Dog Training."                         By Wille Bite
"Docking Your Boat"                     By Pierre Juan
"Do It Yourself"                        By Tyrone Shoelaces
"Do It Now!"                            By P. D. Cue
"Do As I Do, Not As I Say"              By M. U. Late
"Diving In Assholes"                    By Greg Luganis
"Discipline In The Home"                By Wilma Child Begood
"Disasters"                             by Kat A Stroffey
"Disappearing Act"                      By Fay Daway
"Dirty Harry Is... "                    By Amanda B. Reckondwith
"Dinner That Mooves You"                By V. L. Scallopini
"Dieting Made Easy"                     By Ann O'Rexic
"Didn't Make It To The Hospital"        By D. O. Way
"Destructive Cats"                      By Claude Sofa
"Desert Crossing"                       By I. Rhoda Camel
"Descriptions Of Heaven"                By Pearly Gates
"Defunct Nations"                       By Sophie Etunion
"Deflections"                           By Rick O'Shea
"Defeat Of A Lion Tamer"                By Claud Bottom.
"Deep-sea Diving"                       by Cora LeRief
"Deep Secrets"                          By Kent Tellem
"Decorating Your Mousehole"             By Minnie Blinds
"Dealing With Mistakes"                 By E. Ray Sur
"Dealing With Fractions"                By Lois C. Denominator
"D-Day"                                 By Norman D. Landing
"Day In The Life Of A Dentist"          By Phil McAvity
"Danger!"                               By Luke Out
"Dan Quayle's Englush Skils"            By Sammy Literate
"Dairy Products Will Kill You"          by S.Kim Milke
                                        illustrations by Chet Terr
"Daily Retention"                       By Peter Knight
"Daddy are We There Yet?"               By Miles Away
"Cut The Grass!"                        By Moses Lawn
"Cures For Impotence"                   By Hugh G. Rection
"Cuddly Toys"                           By Ted E. Behr
"Cry Wolf"                              By Al Armist
"Crowd Control"                         By General Panic
"Crossing Rivers"                       By Bridget Fast
"Crocodile Dundee"                      By Ali Gator
"Crimes"                                By Cyrus N Tentz
"Crime Does Pay"                        By Robin Banks
"Crime Does Not Pay"                    By Laura Norder
"Crackdown"                             By Lauren Order
"Covered Walkways"                      By R. Kade
"Cosmetology"                           By Rosie Cheeks
"Cooking With Spices"                   By Dillan Terry Gonn
                                        forward by Herb R Goode
"Cooking Spaghetti"                     By Al Dente
"Contraception"                         By I. U. Dee
"Continental Breakfast"                 By Roland Coffy
"Confessions Of A Gold Digger"          By Emile Ticket
"Concussion"                            By I.C.Stars
"Computer Programming Made Easy"        By I. B. Emm
"Computer Memories"                     By Meg Abight
"Compendium Of Useless Tidbits"         By S. O. Terrick
"Compact Cars Of The World"             By V. W. Bugg
"Come On Mom, Pleeeeease?"              By G. Y. Nott
"Come On In!"                           By Doris Open
"Columbus, Vespucci, And Me"            By Enzo Diurth
"College For Soldiers"                  By G. I. Bill
"College Basketball In The South"       By N. C. State
"College Athletics"                     By Nancy Dubblelay
"Cold Winter Month"                     By Jan U. Arie
"Clothes For Germ Kings"                By Mike Robes
"Cloning"                               By Irma Dubble II
"Clever Replies"                        By F. U. Two
"Clementine"                            By Omar Darling
"Classic Groceries"                     By Chopin Liszt
"Civil War Medical Techniques"          by Saul Legoff
"Civil War Firearms"                    By Captain Ball
"Circuit Analysis"                      By E. E. Major
"Circle Perimiter"                      By Sir Cumference
"Christmas For Baldies"                 By Yule Brynner
"Choosing A Graduate School"            by Dr. Masters D. Gree
"Choosing A College"                    by Dr. LeBatt Che Lores
"Chirpin' and Jumpin'"                  By Katie Didd
"Chinese Revenge"                       By Hoo Flung Dung
"Chinese Population Explosion"          By Wi Phucom Yung
"Chinese Cooking Utensils"              By Won Long Pan
"Chinese Apathy"                        By Hu Cares
"Children's Songbook"                   By Skip Tumalu
"Childcare"                             by Pat E Cake
"Chicago Gangs Of The '30's"            By Tommy Gunn
"Chef"                                  By Sue Flay
"Cheer For Your Team!"                  By E. A. Hoo
"Cheating on His Wife"                  By Izzy Backyet
"Cheaper Than IBM"                      By P.C. Clone
"Causing The Greenhouse Effect"         By C. O. Too
"Caulking Made Easy"                    By Phil McKrevis
"Caught In The Flood"                   By Noah Zark
"Caught In A Cyclone"                   By Mel Strom
"Cats"                                  By Ann Gora
"Catching Butterflies"                  By Annette Andajarr
"Carroll"                               By Alison Wonderland Leo
"Carpooling"                            By Sharif D'ride
"Carpet Fitting"                        By Walter Wall
"Carnival Prizes"                       By Q. P. Doll
"Caring For Your Stringed Instrument"   By I. Boticello
"Care For A Chop?"                      By Marsha Larts
"Car Repairs"                           By Axel Grease
"Car Capital Of The World"              By Mitch Egan
"Can't Fence Me In!"                    By J. L. Breaker
"Candle-Vaulting"                       By Jack B. Nimble
"Campanology"                           By Belle Ringer
"Calm Down"                             By Ed. G. Nerfs
"Call Me A Lush"                        By Nita Belt
"Cab Calloway's Garden"                 By Heidi Ho
"By The Dawn's Early Light"             By Jose Canusi
"By A Waterfall"                        By U.P. Standing
"Button Collecting"                     By Zipporah Broakin
"Burglary"                              By Jimmy Delox
"Build a Cessna in your Garage!"        by Candice Flye
"Bugs That Bite"                        By Amos Keetah
"Bugs Beware!"                          By I. X. Terminate
"Bubbles In The Bath"                   By Verewynn De Bottam
"British Sports Cars"                   By M. G. Auto
"Bringing Good Things To Life"          By G. E. Appliances
"Bring to the Grocer's"                 By R. List
"Breaking The Law"                      By Kermit A. Krime
"Brass Instruments"                     By Tom Bone
"Brane Surjery Maid Simpel"             By Sarah Bellum
"Boy Scout's Handbook"                  By Casey Needzit
"Borrower"                              By Nora Lender Bee
"Boring Midwestern Cities"              By Cole Lumbus
"Bombardment"                           By Morris Less
"Boiled Dry"                            By Eve Aporate
"Blowout!"                              By Vlad Tire
"Blowing Away"                          By Ima Blonde
"Bloody River                           By Anita Tampon
"Blood On The Picnic Ground"            By Buster Cherry
"Blood On The Hurdle"                   By Wun Hung Low.
"Blood In The Saddle"                   By The Kotex Kid
"Bliss"                                 By Trudy Light
"Blacks Are People, Too"                By Rush Limbaugh
"Black To White For Presley"            By Michael Jackson
"Bit On The Leg"                        By Anton Marnie
"Birth Control"                         By Iona Syringe
"Birds"                                 By C. Gull
"Bird Brains"                           By A. V. Airy
"Bigots Of America"                     By K. K. Kaye
"Bigotry"                               By Rachel Intolerance
"Big White Bird"                        By Albert Ross
"Big Man On Campus"                     By A. Letterman
"Big Fart!"                             By Hugh Jass
"Better Than Concentrate"               By O. J. Squeezer
"Better Mental Health"                  By Cy Kosis
"Ben Hur"                               by Cher E Ett
"Believe It Or Not"                     By U. R. Kidding
"Beekeeping"                            By A. P. Arry
"Bee Stings Are In The Hand Of The Bee Holder"  By A. P. Airy
"Beans For Breakfast"                   By Y. I. Toot
"Be Your Best!"                         By X. L. Lent
"Be Prepared"                           By Justin Case
"Battle Axes"                           By Tom A. Hawk
"Basic Memory Skills"                   by Ivor Gott?
"Basic Dog Training"                    By Kay Nine
"Banquet At McDonalds"                  By Tommy Ayk
"Banned Pesticides"                     By D. D. Tee
"Band Playing"                          By Clara Nett
"Baker's Man"                           By Patty Cake
"Bad Trips"                             By O. D. Ondope
"Bad Money"                             By Count R. Fitz
"Bad Investment"                        By Les Riches
"Bad Habits"                            by H.Enos Moke
                                        illustrated by Nick O'Teen
"Bad Gardeners"                         By Wilt Plant
"Bad Cow Jokes"                         By Terry Bull
"Back To Back"                          By Will E. Tyrn
"Back Row Of The Orchestra"             By Clara Nett
"Baby's Revenge"                        By Nora Titsoff
"Baby In The Gas Tank"                  By Who Pumped Ethel
"Award Winning Smiles"                  By Nancy Kerrigan
"Athletic Supporter"                    By Jacques Strap
"At The South Pole"                     By Ann Tractic
"At The North Pole"                     By I. C. Blast
"At The Eleventh Hour"                  By Justin Time
"At The Bottom Of The Can"              By Hazel Nutt
"Assault with Battery"                  By Eva Ready
"As Solid As..."                        By Rocco Gibraltar
"Artificial Weightlessness"             By Andy Gravity
"Artificial People"                     By Frank N. Stein
"Artificial Clothing"                   By Polly Ester
"Armed Heists"                          By Robin Banks
"Arithmetic Simplified"                 By Lois Carmen Denominata
"Archery"                               By Beau N. Arrow
"April Fool!"                           By Sue Prize
"Antlers In The Treetops"               By Hu Goosed Themoose
"Animal Scents"                         By Farrah Mones
"Animal Illnesses"                      By Ann Thrax
"And the Other People"                  By Allan Sundry
"And So On And So Forth"                By Ed Nauseum
"And Now The Following Announcements"   By P. A. System
"Ancient Cults And Religions"           by Vous Dooh Dhall
"Anatomy of the Human Brain"            by Sara Bellum
"An Anthology Of Children's Humor"      By I. P. Dailey
"American Patriotic Songs"              By Homer D. Brave
"American College Athletics"            By Nancy Dubblelay
"Ambulance Driving"                     By Adam Muhway
"Amazing Alphabet!"                     By E. F. Gee
"Alone IV"                              By Eddie Buddyhome
"Almost Missed the Bus"                 By Justin Time
"Allegiance To The King"                By Neil Downe
"All Power Corrupts, But We Need Electricity"  By D. W. Jones
"All My Travels"                        By Wanda Lust
"All Alone"                             By Saul E. Terry
"All About Orchestras"                  By Phil Harmonic
"All About Kissing"                     By Miss L. Toe
"Alaska"                                By Yukon Freeze
"Ah, Thor!"                             By Ty Till
"Agony Of The Long Distance Runner"     By Jim Shorts
"Against The Law"                       By Ellie Gull
"After The Corned Beef And Cabbage"     By Kay O'Pectate
"African Pygmies"                       By R. U. Short
"Advertisements"                         By Bill Board
"Advanced Neuroanatomy"                 By Sarah Bellom
"Advanced Memorization Techniques"      By Duh Ronald Reagan
"Acrophobia Explained"                  By Alfredo Heights
"Achieving The Pinnacle In Team Sports" By Stanley Cupp
                                           And Lombard D. Trow-Fee
"Aches And Pains"                       By Arthur Itis
"Abstinence"                            By Wilt Chamberlin
"A Whole Lot of Cats"                   By Kitt N. Caboodle
"A Visit To The Dentist"                By Phil Mcavity
"A Trip to the Outhouse"          by Willy Makeit
"A Trip to the Dentist"                 By Yin Pain
"A Tourist Guide To The Big Apple"      By Walsh U. Carr
"A Thousand Potatoes Yet To Go"         By K. P. Dooty
"A Survey Of Courtship Customs In South China" By Mo Dang Fun
"A Stuntman To The End"                 By Kenny Doitt
"A Study Of The Gluteus Maximus"        By C. Howitt Feals
"A Study Of Influenza"                  By S. Pew
"A Star Is Barred"                      By Sherlock Tout
"A Spotless Scalp In 7 Days"            By Mikhail Gorbachev
"A Schoolboy's Troubles"                By Ben Dover
"A Question of Justice"                 by M. Crook
"A Plumber Is Needed"                   By Rufus Leaking
"A Place For A Wig"                     By Sonia Head.
"A Pictorial History Of The Star Wars Saga"   by Moe C. Quilles
"A Man with Guts"                       by Harry Kerry
"A Long Walk"                           By Miss Debus
"A History Of Aspirin"                  By Ivan Hedake
"A Great Plenty"                        By E. Nuff
"A Fish Story"                          By Czar Dean
"A Familiar Luncheon"                   By Sam Witch
"A Day Of A Thousand Years"             By Ann O. Domini
"A Critique Of Ian Fleming"             By J. M. Spond
"A Cliff-Top Tragedy"                   By Eileen Dover
"A Boxing Cornerman's Story"            By Dawson Detowel.
"A Bestiary of Plant Eaters"            By Herb Avore
"5000 Miles In The Saddle"              By Major Assburn
"50 Yards To The Outhouse"              By Doris Locked
"50 Days In The Saddle"                 By Capt. O. Blubalz
"30 Days To Better Child Porn"          By Hiram Young
"100 Pounds"                            By F. V. Load
"...And Shut Up!"                       By Sid Downe

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